B-Movie Central Cheese Blog

Hey folks,

Yeah I know the magazine is a couple days late in posting, but that’s because it’s our 6th anniversary issue, and it’s HUGE!  We’ve got tons of stuff for you this month, so without further adieu…

Interviews:

Emily Hagins
Kevin Kangas
Phil Stevens
Sarah Butler

This Month’s Sleepover Girl:

Rachel Grubb, Queen of the Sleepover Girls, is back to grace the pages of our 6th anniversary issue, and for the first time ever, I’ve included nine shots in her feature instead of six, and boy are they incredible.

Articles:

Six years, and man do I feel old and busted.  For six long years now, I’ve been writing for the magazine, hosting it, maintaining the server and performing all the duties of a managing editor – and it all seems to have passed in the blink of an eye.  Still, we’ve accomplished a lot over the years, and we’ve had a lot of great people writing for us along the way.  This article is my tribute to the magazine we’ve put our hearts and souls into, and to those who’ve made it what it is today.

Fantasy and sci-fi fans remember Janet Munro for her wonderful performances in Disney’s Darby O’Gill and the Little People, as well as two other well made British sci-fi films – The Crawling Eye (1958) and The Day the Earth Caught Fire (1961). These three roles gained her a lion’s share of her audience on this side of the Atlantic, because these films were repeatedly shown on American television throughout the 1960s and 1970s. So to celebrate the career of a wonderful and distinctive actress, Phil Smolen takes a look at the fantasy film career of this beautiful and talented actress.

Jason Lockard loves classic cinema, and this month he’s back with another great article, all about that Roger Corman classic, The Raven.  This film, as well as Roger Corman’s other great Edgar Allan Poe based films, many of which starred any combination of Vincent Price, Peter Lorre, Basil Rathbone and Boris Karloff, are near and dear to my heart.  So I was excited to see that Jason had the good sense to cover one of them in this, our special anniversary issue.  Thanks Jason!

Metropolis. Has anyone not heard of this silent Fritz Lang classic?  What many of you may not know however, is that the film became fragmented for various reasons, and for years, the only copies known to exist were missing various parts.  Jump to the present day.  A near complete copy of the film was located in Argentina of all places, and now, for the first time in close to a century, the film can finally be enjoyed the way it was meant to be.  Matt Barry makes his first appearance with us here on Rogue Cinema, with a great article all about this cinematic phenomenoa, and how its restoration has affected the telling of this classic tale.

How could we have an anniversary issue without an anniversary edition of Danny Runion’s Movie Mashups?  The Answer is, we couldn’t, so that’s just what he’s presented to us this month, for your reading enjoyment.

Movie Reviews:

A Test of Wills
Blackula
Corpse Mania
Crossed
Death Race 2000
Dr. Film
Drown
Easier With Practice
Easter Bunny Kill! Kill!
Every Other Day is Halloween
Finale
Forsaken
Hemo
Homeland
I Need That Record
I Reveal
Laid Off
Nightshade
Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky
Roofies & Romance
Seeding of a Ghost
Shock Waves
Slasher
Someone’s Knocking at the Door
Spirit Camp
Straight
Sweatshop
Sympathy
Temptation
Tex: Vampire Hunter
The Familiar
The Killer Snakes
The Lost Coast
The Rage
The Rolling Stones: Rare and Unseen
The Uh-Oh Show
The Woods of Astrid
The Wretched
Three Stooges Volume 8
Trunk
Way to go, Christine!
What’s Up Lovely
When I Die
Wolf Creek
Word is Out

Book Reviews:

Encyclopedia of African American Actresses in Film and Television

So head on over to Rogue Cinema (http://www.roguecinema.com) and check out all the goodness in this month’s issue.

Hope you all enjoy it!

You may have noticed I haven’t made a new post in a while.  Then again, you may not have.  In any case, it’s because my wife’s parents came from Israel to stay with us for ten days, so I basically spent the first half of the month cleaning the house and trying to get things in order, and the second half entertaining and visiting with them, so I’ve had little time for anything else.  This had two unfortunate side effects.  It put me behind in getting my stuff for the magazine done, and it got me really backed up on e-mails I had to respond to, which I finally just caught up with yesterday.  The good thing is, I finally had what amounted to a small vacation.  I say small because I had originally planned to not take on much of anything this month as far as screeners to review, but somehow I ended up with five, including two that were sent to me without being pre-arranged, which annoys me a lot.  I’m always tempted to simply reject these completely, but I usually do them anyway.  There’s only been one or two I ever rejected out of hand, and that’s only because there were other extenuating circumstances with the screener I was sent.

June marks Rogue Cinema’s 6th anniversary as well.  I had written up a big piece about it in this post, but it actually got so long I ended up turning it into a full article for the new issue, so head on over and check it out.  The new issue should be posted by the 2nd.  It’s a huge issue this month, and between my vacation and the huge amount of content we have, it’s created a delay in getting it out.

Now, onto other stuff…

I was going to talk about the Israeli stoppage of those idiots taking “aid” to Gaza, but I’m so disgusted by the U.N., the E.U. and their appeasement attitude toward Arabs and Muslims in general, that I’m not going to get into it.  I’m just sickened at how pathetic our world has become when a country like Israel is condemned for protecting itself and its interests while the rest of the world is allowed to do it freely and terrorists are coddled.  To the U.N. and the E.U. I will simply say, go to hell.  The whole bloody lot of you.  I would love to see you both hit with terrorist attacks, if for no other reason than to wake you the hell up to the realities of the world we live in.  Then again, we were hit and look at all the idiot appeasers we have running around in this country.  It’s like the world is being infected with some kind of a mental illness or something.  I don’t know what the hell’s going on, but I feel like I’ve been thrust into some kind of an alternate time line where everything’s all fucked up and backward.  I wish dimensional travel was possible.  I’d love to get the hell out of this pathetic world and into one where reason and sanity exist.

Anyway, we’ve had some big losses in the entertainment industry as of late, including Ronnie James Dio and Gary Coleman.  I knew Ronnie had stomach cancer, but the last I heard things were going well in fighting it.  Not well enough I guess.  It’s a sad loss.  He was arguably the greatest metal singer of all time, and certainly a huge ground breaker when it came to the genre.  As for Gary Coleman, that was just a huge shock and came out of nowhere.  I feel really bad for him.  He survived a kidney disease, years of dialysis, parents who ripped him off, etc…, and still managed to survive child stardom relatively unscathed.  He always appeared to me as someone who just wanted to be left alone to live a normal life, and yet no one would let him have that.  He was turned into a joke, and never really appreciated for his talent or respected as a human being.  Now he’s dead, and everyone who ever impaired his life in any way should be ashamed.  Unfortunately, I know they won’t be.  People like that don’t have it in them to feel ashamed.  They elevate themselves (in their own mind) by putting down others.  People like that are worthless, and despite the sadness at his loss, at least Gary is free of them now.

Other than that, everything’s been going along the same as always.  Still broke, still bored, still hoping things will change.  At least one good thing happened the other night.  We had a break in the rainy weather and it was a really nice evening, so we were able to sit outside with a fire burning in the fire pit, staring up at the stars and smoking some awesome pipe tobacco cigars.  It’s moments like that that make life worth living.  Those are the perfect moments in life.  Wouldn’t it be awesome if they could go on forever?

Hey folks,

It’s been a strange month and unfortunately, the way things ended up, the issue is a bit shorter than usual. Still, we have some great content for you! Here’s what we have this month…

Interviews:

Katrena Rochell
Cameron Scott

This Month’s Sleepover Girl:

Michelle Tomlinson is this month’s Sleepover Girl, but her entry has been delayed a few days because she’s currently out of town. I’ll get her feature entered as soon as I get the rest of the material.

Articles:

How many times have you seen character actors in films and said, “Oh yeah, that guy!”. Well this month, Philip Smolen profiles three great character actors that we’ve all seen and recognize, but may not have known much about them…until now.

This month, Jason S. Lockard takes a look at one of the greatest comedy westerns of all time, Support Your Local Sheriff. James Garner actually starred in two of these films, the other one being Support Your Local Gunfighter. While this article only covers the Sheriff film, I would highly recommend that you all check out both films. They’re a whole lot of fun, and hey, they have Jack Elam in them too! Now how can you beat that?

Jason S. Lockard hates them damn dirty apes as much as Charlton Heston does, but he has to admit, talking apes made for one hell of a great movie! This month, his classic cinema article is all about the one and only, Planet of the Apes.

This month, Danny Runion is taking a look at some of the most crappy, cliched types of movie endings that we’ve all seen a million times. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was more originality and it wasn’t so easy to compile a list like this? Well, we can dream, can’t we?

Movie Reviews:

Au Soleil
Blood Red Moon
Bounty
Carmilla Hyde
Coasting
Evil Toons: 20th Anniversary Edition
Frank Edge Jr.
Gamera The Giant Monster
Gopher Wood
Infection: The Invasion Begins
Life and Death
Long Pigs
Lost in New Mexico: The Strange Tale of Susan Hero
Necrosis
Spirit
Strip Club King: The Story of Joe Redner
The Grover Complex
Slammin’ Salmon
The Zombie Hero

Book Reviews:

The Westerners
Go, Mutants!

So head on over to Rogue Cinema (http://www.roguecinema.com) and check out all the goodness in this month’s issue.

Hope you all enjoy it!

Ok it’s been a while since I made a post, so here’s a couple of things I’ve been wanting to write about…

I was originally going to start this out with a rant about Sparkle paper towels, but I’ll get to that in a minute.  First, I want to talk about the piss poor state of American Idol judging this year.  I mean, the judges have always had favorites that they’ve pushed, but I’ve never seen the blatant level of “kneel and bobbing” that’s been going on for Crystal Bowersox this year.  They’re slamming brilliant performances by Casey James and Siobahn Magnus, and yet Crystal can do no wrong.  In fact, every time she performs, she makes all the others look like kids at a school talent show…right?  Well according to these idiotic judges it is.  Honestly, Crystal is a great singer, but has all the personality of a piece of wet cardboard.  Casey comes out and does great rock n’ roll and smiles a lot and has fun.  He’s great to watch.  Siobahn…you watch her sing and it’s like watching performance art.  She’s an amazing singer…yet you’d never know it by listening to these judges.  It’s understandable to have favorite performers.  It’s human.  The thing is, it’s their job to give these people honest criticisms and advice to help them to become better performers.  It’s NOT their job to pick out a golden child and then go out of their way to make everyone else look like crap, whether they’re good or not.  Randy’s being a bitch, Ellen rarely says anything constructive, and Kara has turned on full bitch mode this year and all she wants to do is put each person in a specific box of what kind of an artist they’ll be.  As for Simon, he’s gotten progressively worse over the last few years, and this year it just feels like he’s phoning it in and doesn’t even want to be there.  As for Crystal, she is a great singer, I won’t deny that, but she’s a one trick pony.  It’s rare to see her do anything different or interesting, which is something they dinged Casey for…so why not her?

Now as far as Crystal…

Recently she was having a weak moment where she was missing her kid and was thinking about leaving the show because she couldn’t handle the pressure and missed her kid and what not.  Boo freakin’ hoo.  Bitch, you took up a slot that someone with more desire and more deserving could have taken.  You have a chance at something most people would kill for, and you think about throwing it all away because you miss your kid?  Talk about selfish!  She has this golden opportunity to have a great career, take care of her kid and her family and to have an amazing life, but….boo hoo, I miss my kid.  You know what Crystal?  Leave.  You won’t be missed.  In fact, after all the ass kissing by the judges and having to suffer through your unbelievably pathetic excuse for a personality every week, I’ll hold the freakin’ door for you!  Oh but wait…  Ryan Seacrest saved you from your own idiocy by talking you into staying.  What the hell were you thinking Ryan?  Did you think the judges would turn on you if you let the ass they like to kiss leave the show?  Ok, let’s give Ryan the benefit of the doubt here and assume he was doing something nice by helping her through her depression.  Ok cool, that was nice of you Ryan.  How is he paid back for it?  She posts a tweet saying she was betrayed by him because it leaked out.  Wait, what?  He saved your ass from making the biggest mistake of your life, and he betrayed you?  YOU FREAKIN’ BITCH!  Seriously, you’re a bitch.  To hell with you Crystal Bowersox.  What an ungrateful bitch you are.  Maybe you should appreciate the favor he did for you instead of being a friggin’ drama queen.  The show would be better off without you, but as long as you’re there, at least try to show some damn class and be gracious when someone helps you out.  You’re like a damn cat that bites you when you try to pet it.  So take your nasty ass dreads and your nothing personality and crawl into a damn hole somewhere so we can forget you and all the ass kissing we’ve had to endure because of you.

Ok…phew, got that off my chest.  Now on to Sparkle paper towels…

We use Sparkle paper towels.  We’ve always loved Sparkle paper towels.  They’re reasonably priced and they work.  However, a while back, they started perforating them in half sheets instead of full sheets.  This had three results.  First, you can never tear off a full sheet’s worth.  It never tears in the spot you want it, and it never tears all the way down.  It always hangs on at the bottom and rips the corner off.  Second, even if you do manage to tear off a full sheet’s worth, it doesn’t handle like a full sheet because it keeps tenting up in the middle where the perforation is.  Third, who the HELL uses a half a sheet of paper towel?  What the hell is a half a sheet of paper towel even good for?  Wow, you can tear it off and put it next to your plate with a knife and fork on it.  Will you use it as a napkin?  NO!  IT’S A HALF A SHEET OF PAPER TOWEL!!!  You can’t even blow your nose into the damn thing without folding it in half!  So Sparkle…drop this crap with the half sheets.  They’re worthless and a total pain in the ass.  Paper towels should come off in one useful full sheet, and that’s it.  You’re not reducing waste by splitting them, you’re just making them more of a pain in the ass to use, because we’re still going to use the same amount we always did.  Why?  Because that’s how much it takes to actually work!

Anyway, that’s it for now.  I had some other stuff I wanted to talk about, but I still need to form my thoughts before I post it.  I just got over having a pain in the ass cold, so I haven’t been too focused lately.  I’m better now though.  Did you even ask?  No, but I told you anyway…so nyahhhhh!!!!

Hey folks,

Yes, once again the issue was a bit late, and I apologize for that. My monitor picked the 30th of all days to finally die on me, so I had to order a new one, which caused a bit of down time. Fortunately I was up and running fairly quickly and the new issue has now been posted. Here’s what we have for you this month…

Interviews:

Jennifer Prettyman
Landyn Banx
Joe Davison
Jeremiah Kipp
Ryan Nicholson
Suzi Lorraine

This Month’s Sleepover Girl:

The modern girl with a classic style, Kirstin Walsh is our April Sleepover Girl!

Articles:

In the Bunker of Movies: A Day on the Set with ZP International Pictures – George Bonilla is a filmmaker who likes to do things that people say he can’t do. They told him he couldn’t make indie films in Kentucky without a Hollywood budget. Now with six feature films under his belt, he’s started shooting not one, but two movies at one time. He invited B Movie Man Nic Brown to visit his production studio in Richmond Kentucky and watch a day of filming. See what happens when you tell George Bonilla you can’t make a family friendly zombie movie and have a vampire stalk an American President.

After a month off, Philip Smolen is back with another awesome article all about classic cinema! This month, he brings us a list of six great low budget alien movies. Some you’ve probably seen, and others you may have never even heard of. In any case, it’s a great read, so be sure to check it out!

Jason S. Lockard hates them damn dirty apes as much as Charlton Heston does, but he has to admit, talking apes made for one hell of a great movie! This month, his classic cinema article is all about the one and only, Planet of the Apes.

Danny Runion is taking a break from his blender articles this month. Inspired by the horrendous state of our government, he believes these b-movie baddies could do a hell of a lot better job. So check out his picks for the b-movie president and his cabinet of baddies.

Movie Reviews:

A Night at Robert McCallisters
Bitch Slap
Black Coffee
Broken Glass
Colour from the Dark
Dead Snow
Flower and Snake
Gut Rot
Hanger
Hatchet
Housewives From Another World
I Am Virgin
Lunch Break
Meet the Parents
Nixon and Hogan Smoke Christmas
Oh My Love
Paranormal Activity
Salty Language Peppered Morals
Someone Else in the Evening
Stained Glass Windows
The Blue Light
The Crazies
The Good Sisters
The Men Who Stare at Goats
Tripping Forward
Worm
Wrong Move

Book Reviews:

A Sci-Fi Swarm and Horror Horde
Features from the Black Lagoon
Keep Watching the Skies

So head on over to Rogue Cinema (http://www.roguecinema.com) and check out all the goodness in this month’s issue.

Hope you all enjoy it!

And here I sit – another sleepless night.  This night is different however, because we had that moronic time change tonight.  So now instead of being 3:13 a.m. when I write this, it’s 4:13 a.m., which especially sucks because I have to go visit my parents tomorrow and I haven’t slept.  Somehow, I got on this cycle again of sleeping a huge chunk of the day and then being awake all night.  It happened after I got the last issue of the magazine out.  I was up until like 5:30 a.m. finishing things up and then slept during the day.  It totally threw me off.

Anyway, being up at night gives me time to think about things.  Oh, it’s nothing special.  It could be anything from what a corrupt, psychotic, lying socialist bitch Nancy Pelosi is, to my diet to why the dog insists on laying behind me every time she has the farts.  There’s a complete randomness to night time thought processes, which are usually influenced by whatever you’re reading, seeing, listening to or experiencing in a sensitory way, like dog farts.

Here’s a good example.  I was just sitting at my wife’s desk working on updating my sister’s computer for her, and this commercial came on the radio for a local furniture store talking about all the great furniture you could get for no interest financing and stuff like that.  The first thing that went through my mind was, “Hey, it’d be nice having a really nice bed with a nice headboard and foot board and a really nice pillow and comforter set.”  Well, it wasn’t that detailed, but it was an all encompassing thought that basically amounted to that.  But then I thought to myself, “Well, the dog sleeps with us, and I wouldn’t want him messing up our nice new bed.”  Then I thought about how I’ve always been satisfied with simple things.  For example, we have an average bed without a headboard or a foot board, with an average pillow and comforter set that have seen better days but are still nice enough to use.  It’s comfortable and it’s functional.  That’s all that matters to me.  We have furniture in the living room that we’ve had since we moved here over twelve and a half years ago.  Sure it’d be awesome to have new furniture, but the furniture we have works.  We sit on it, and it keeps us from hitting the floor when we bend our legs and lower our butts.  What more do you need?

People have become far too hung up on unimportant things, and more often than not, it’s all just for show.  “Hey look how much money we have!  Look at all the nice stuff we surround ourselves with!  Aren’t we great?!?”

I got news for those of you who are like that.  What you have doesn’t make you great.  The content of your character is what defines your greatness, or lack thereof.  The sooner you learn that, the sooner you can start examining yourself critically, which will hopefully lead to self improvement as character flaws are identified and corrected.  Things like having to have nicer stuff than everyone else so you can feel superior.

Now don’t get me wrong here.  There are times when having the best makes sense.  Not from a, “Hey look how cool I am because I have this!” standpoint, but from a more practical, “You get what you pay for,” standpoint.  For example, I recently bought an Axe-Fx Ultra guitar processor.  It’s the best guitar processor / multi-fx unit available today and costs $2,000.  Did I need the best?  Well, I’m a musician, and music gear costs a lot of money.  I’ve also used different processors at a lower price point and they were all less than satisfying and felt like a waste of money.  So I sold a bunch of gear, including my drum set, and bought myself an Axe-Fx Ultra.  Not to show off or stroke my ego, but because I’m a musician, and having the best means having a great tone that I can be happy with and that will inspire me to play and to explore new dimensions musically.  I won’t lie.  It’s uber cool to have one.  Pretty badass actually.  But that’s not why I bought it.  I bought it because I was making an investment in myself and my music, and because for that $2,000, I’m getting a unit that I’m going to get a LOT of years of use out of.

It’s 5:01 a.m. now.  Still working on my sister’s computer, and trying to come up with something to ramble about next.

Oh, would you snotty ass leftists please stop with the Sarah Palin bashing…please!  Jesus, I mean seriously, it’s not funny, it never was.  All it does is show how pathetic and mean spirited you all are and how you’d rather insult and demean her rather than have a rational, logical debate with her about the issues.  Why do I mention this?  Because tonight on the cover of Boise Weekly, I noticed on the cover they had a cartoon of her in a nun’s habit with horns and an upside down cross.  Are you people really that afraid of her?  You’ve become obsessed, and it’s not only unhealthy, it’s really just pathetic.  Do I agree with her on everything?  Absolutely not.  However, she’s a nice person, a good mother, and was one of the few honest politicians who was driven out of office by repeated ethics complaints by the lefist wingnuts out there who obsessively tried to drive her out of office or to discredit her in any way possible.  I would like to add that every ethics complaint they levied toward her, she was cleared of.  All it did was cost both her and the taxpayers assloads of money to deal with all the bogus claims, so she finally gave up and left office.  There, you all won.  Happy now?  Are you really happy with yourselves for badgering an honest politician out of office?  Well you shouldn’t be.  I know that nothing I say will put any shame into that crowd, so it’s a waste of breath to even try.

Let’s see, what else…

Jeez, I’m starting to have a hard time thinking clearly.  It’s gonna be a LONG damn day.  I wish I didn’t have to go, but I do, and I have a lot more work to do on my sister’s computer before we go, so I guess I’m not getting any sleep tonight.  That sucks.   Still doing the damn windows updates.  She was WAY out of date.

I guess I’ll wrap this up.  I didn’t really have much to talk about.  Things have been pretty boring in my life…as always.  I wish I had more to report, but I really don’t.  Oh well, maybe next time I’ll have something interesting to say.

Hey folks,

Yes I know the issue is late, and I apologize for that. Unfortunately, I had several issues working against me this month, including scheduling problems, illness, technical and formatting issues and more. It’s just been a bad month all around. However, that doesn’t mean we have a bad issue for you. In fact, just the opposite. We have a pretty great issue this time around, and here’s what we’ve got for you.

Interviews:

Jason Schaver & Ken Gayton
April Burril (a.k.a. Chainsaw Sally)
Philip & Lucy Magcalas
Michael A. Hoffman
Loyd Cryer and the Texas Frightmare Weekend
Blake Fitzpatrick

This Month’s Sleepover Girl:

The beautiful and talented Katie Stanley is our March Sleepover Girl!

Articles:

Ole’ Blue Eyes, a Killer?! Well, he is in this film! This month independent filmmaker Jason S. Lockard brings us a cold blooded thriller, starring The Chairman of the Board himself, Frank Sinatra! This is one of those films that’s sort of been lost in the shuffle over the years, but definitely should not be forgotten.

The 80′s were actually a pretty fun time for movies, and Danny Runion doesn’t want us to forget some of the greats of that era. So rather than giving us one of his usual mashup articles this month, he’s provided us with a piece talking about some of the great films of the 80′s that should never be forgotten.

Movie Reviews:

A Bell from Hell
Abigail Lesley is Back in Town & Laura’s Toys
Addicted to Murder
Addicted to Murder: Tainted Blood
Arthur, Autumn & A Violin
Banshee!!!
Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros
Chepachet
Contact
D.C. Sniper
Dante’s Inferno
Dolly Oxem’s Traveling Video Circus
Gutterballs
Hitler’s Harlot Collection
Into the Pit: The Shocking Story of Deadpit.com
Law Abiding Citizen
Live Feed
Massacrator
Midnight
MST3K: Volume 17
One Hour Fantasy Girl
Stephen Romano Presents Shock Festival
The City
The Death of Hollywood
The Waterhole
Twisted Tales

Book Reviews:

Laurel and Hardy: From The Forties Forward
So head on over to Rogue Cinema (http://www.roguecinema.com) and check out all the goodness in this month’s issue.

Hope you all enjoy it!

Now, let me preface this by saying that I’m a Constitutional conservative.  I believe in a small government with limited power and individual freedom.

That said, I have to say that today, 80 “conservative” idiots got together to sign come document confirming conservative principles that are supposed to define conservatism.  Unfortunately, the best they could come up with was some vague list that was not only pointless because of its vagueness, but also quite hypocritical.

Here’s what it said:

1. A Constitutional conservatism based on first principles provides the framework for a consistent and meaningful policy agenda.

2. It applies the principle of limited government based on the rule of law to every proposal.

3. It honors the central place of individual liberty in American politics and life.

4. It encourages free enterprise, the individual entrepreneur, and economic reforms grounded in market solutions.

5. It supports America’s national interest in advancing freedom and opposing tyranny in the world and prudently considers what we can and should do to that end.

6. It informs conservatism’s firm defense of family, neighborhood, community, and faith.

*   *   *

So what does that mean?  Well, let’s take it line by line.

1. Not a clue.  Just sounds like a lot of political vaguery. (Is vaguery even a word?  If not, it should be!)

2. Ok this one’s actually self explanatory and is a really good thing.  Failing to obey this one is what landed us with such a bloated government that ignores the Constitution and assumes rights it doesn’t have.

3. Now this one’s good, but it’s also extremely hypocritical because of number 6.  I’ll explain why when I get down to number 6.

4. Again, this one’s great.  Whatcha gonna do about it though, and how are you going to protect the rights and liberties of normal people when they’re abused by corporations and other businesses that contribute heavily to your party?  Bush changed the bankruptcy law, which helped the banks and credit companies, but totally screwed over your average Joe in trouble.  Where’s the protection for us?  Bush was in the pockets of the corporations and financial institutions, just as so many in the government are, both liberal and conservative, and we end up paying the price for it.

5. Again, this is a good one, but also vague and highly subjective.  There are lots of people who might think it would be a good thing to insert ourselves into the problems they’re having in Darfur because it would raise our standing in the world or whatever.  Honestly, we have no national interest there, nor should we be acting as the world’s policeman.  There are cases however where we should be doing a hell of a lot more than sitting on our thumbs and rotating, like in the case of what’s going on with Iran.  Again, this is a vague statement, and says nothing more than is dictated by common sense.

6. And here we have the hypocritical one that loses them elections, and yet they cling to it like a bunch of morons.  In number 3 they say that liberty should be respected both in American politics and life.  Now here in this one they pull out the same old oppressive social and religious crap that’s been losing them elections for a long time now, and yet they refuse to let go of it.

Individual liberty was a founding point of our country.  The whole point of this country was for us to be free to live and think as we please, and yet these idiots want to take their religious based morals and try to impose them on everyone, like it or not.  When they say defense of family, that means they’re still clinging to their anti-gay marriage stand and their anti-abortion B.S..  Let me tell you something.  If two American citizens want to get married, the government has NO business getting in the way of that.  That’s not only an issue of individual liberty, but it’s also an issue of gays not being afforded equal treatment under the law.  Gays pay taxes, they serve in the military and they’re an integral part of American life and culture, and yet they’re denied one of the most basic of legal rights simply because, for these religious screw heads, individual liberty ends where the Bible begins.  Let me just clue you in on something here folks.  We don’t live in a theocracy.  That’s  not what this country was founded on, nor is it how we should be living.  You’re perfectly free to believe in whatever religion you want as long as you leave it at the door when you come in to make policy that applies to the individual citizens of this country.

With abortion, you have the same thing, except that they have even less of a leg to stand on.  Abortion is perfectly legal, and yet, because they don’t think it should even exist because of their religious morals, they try to restrict it and constantly talk about how they’d like to see Roe vs. Wade overturned.  Roe vs. Wade is settled law.  It passed its test in the Supreme Court.  That’s it.  It’s done.  If you all don’t like abortion, don’t have one, but don’t try to impose your beliefs on everyone else.  Sometimes abortion is necessary, and preferable to the alternative.  It’s a hard enough decision for people to deal with without you moralists sticking your nose into people’s private business and trying to step on their individual liberties.

As for neighborhood and community, what the hell does that mean?  What business does the government have sticking its nose into our neighborhoods and communities unless there’s a legal issue or a social problem (like homelessness or gang activity) involved that necessitates it?  People just want to be left alone to live their lives in whatever way they see fit.

Religion.  Now, I’m an Atheist / LaVey Satanist, but if people want to believe in whatever religion they want to believe in, I have no problem with that.  I think it’s stupid, but it’s not my place, nor anyone else’s to tell them otherwise.  However, that said, people do NOT have the right to harm the individual liberties of others by imposing their religious morals on them.  I also believe that freedom of speech should not extend to the incitement by religious leaders of unlawful behavior.  For example, a Christian church riling up its congregation so much over abortion that one of them goes out and kills an abortion doctor, or a mosque where the imam preaches hate against the Jews and other infidels, brainwashing his followers into committing violent acts against them.  These things are indefensible, and should not be tolerated.  Churches are free to say that they’d like their congregations to not have abortions based on what’s in the bible.  That’s fine.  If people want to believe that, I have no problem with it.  Its at the point where they try to impose it on others that I have a problem with it.

Individual liberty is the most important thing we have, and the far left and the far right in our government have been perpetually eroding it for nearly a century now, if not longer, each for their own purposes, and I despise both equally for it.  Freedom isn’t just some esoteric thing that’s indefinable, it’s a thing that each of us deserve under our Constitution, and something that many brave men and women have died to protect.  Unfortunately, the real enemy seems to be right here at home, as our own politicians have done more to erode our freedoms than any outside enemy ever has.

So go back to the drawing board folks.  Come up with something more specific, and leave your social agenda out of it.  The government has no business preaching any kind of a social agenda to the citizens of this country.  You just might find that if you stopped trying to impose your religious views of life on everyone, a lot more people would warm up to your other ideals and start voting for you.

So, after selling lots of music gear, including my drum set, I was finally able to get an Axe-Fx Ultra guitar processor.  Now, I’ve always been a huge fan of Digitech’s GSP-2101 guitar processor.  It’s been the foundation of my rack for almost 16 years, and in all that time, I’ve never found anything that could replace it.  When Digitech came out with their GSP1101, I figured, “Hey, it’s 15 years later, I’ll bet this thing kicks all ass!”  Sadly, it didn’t.  Their GSP1101 was little more than a toy compared to the GSP2101.  The sound was thin, it was poorly set up and designed, the cab sims sucked, their forums are a joke and trying to get firmware updates or any communication from or interaction with the company is like pulling teeth.  One of their people had to split off on his own to release a series of beta firmwares on his own time.  What the hell kind of a company releases a “flagship product” and doesn’t support it with firmware updates?  Digitech has completely lost all credibility as a company.  Their policy of sell it and forget it just doesn’t work when you’re selling products that cost the consumer a big chunk of money to purchase.  That brings me to Fractal Audio Systems…

Fractal Audio Systems, maker of the Axe-Fx Ultra, is owned by a guy named Cliff Chase, who invented the Axe.  This guy is constantly releasing new firmware updates for the Axe that include new features, new amps, new pedals, bug fixes and whatever else need to be done.  He’s also active in the FAS forums, so he knows what people want, what problems they’re having, etc…, and he’s responsive to it.   I looked at the Digitech forums today.  They’re basically sitting on their thumbs waiting for a new official firmware to materialize and sitting around with baited breath for the lone guy from Digitech who has any interaction with them on there (and even that only started occurring after a huge nasty PR mess happened) to give them any news about the impending firmware update.  Have fun waiting guys.  I’ve had not one, but TWO firmware updates since I got my Axe last Monday (the second one being a small bug fix for the first), that added not only a new amp and drive pedal, but also added improvements to an already awesome sounding compressor and made all the amp sims sound even more phenomenal than they already did.  The FAS forums are highly active and full of helpful people who are in love with their Axe-Fx processors and totally helpful whenever people have questions or issues.  I’ve never seen such a great community surrounding a piece of music gear.  As for my beloved GSP2101, I’ve removed it from my rack and put it in the closet for now.  The Axe is the first and only processor I’ve ever come across that was a 2101 killer.  I still love my 2101, but the Axe is just that amazing.

Now, that’s not to say everyone has been thrilled with the Axe-Fx.  There are a few select people who’ve gotten one and then sent it back, and it’s almost always for the same reason.  I call these individuals, 5-knobbers.  Why do I call them 5-knobbers?  Because these are people who’ve used guitar amps all their lives, and are unable to deal with anything more complicated than the five basic knobs on any amp.  Gain, Bass, Mid, Treble and Volume.  Hence, they have truly earned the name, 5-knobbers.  The problem with 5-knobbers is that, when confronted with an actual guitar processor / multi-effects unit, no matter which one it is, there’s a whole lot more you can tweak than just the five basic knobs.  Being unable to handle this, they almost always come out with the same excuse for why they want to get rid of the unit.  Just as a side note, there were people who said the same thing about Digitech’s GSP-2101 as well.

“I just want to sit down and play, I don’t want to have to spend hours and hours tweaking patches.”

Ok, so let’s see here.  You folks can’t be bothered to take a phenomenal unit that, in the case of the Axe, can (currently) give you access to 65 different amp models, a variety of drive pedals, a laundry list of effects and tons of cab and mic sims to give you virtually any sound you could possibly want?  If you people would actually sit down and spend a little time and effort to get your patches set up, you could just sit down and play.  I sat down with the Axe and within an hour or so I had a great sounding bass patch that not only covered mellow tones, but also a brighter, more slappy type tone.  A few days later, I took a blank patch, added an amp model and a reverb, and literally within twenty minutes I had a phenomenal sounding distortion patch that I was playing with a great beat on the drum machine.  It’s not rocket science.  I’m not gonna lie.  There are things in the Axe that are well beyond me as far as knowing what they are and how they affect the sound.  That’s part of the fun though.  Learning that stuff and how it affects your tone.  It’s going to take me a while before I figure out some of that stuff, but as far as the basic to the regular advanced stuff, it’s all easy as hell on the Axe.  It’s only the REALLY advanced stuff like adjusting tube bias and the amp electronics and what not, which are things I’ve never dealt with, which will take some time.  Still, that’s part of the adventure, and it’s a great learning experience.

So to all you lazy ass 5-knobbers who just can’t be bothered, you’re not only REALLY missing out on something awesome, but you’re spending a fortune on various amps and pedals you wouldn’t need if you had actually taken the time to get to know your Axe.

I’ve actually coined a new term here with the whole 5-knobber thing.  I doubt it’ll ever stick or get around, but I think it’s a rather amusing and descriptive term for these types of people.

Anyway, I haven’t posted much lately because of a combination of several factors, including depression, boredom, tiredness and the fact that I’ve been spending a lot more time playing music lately.  I’m at a really bad point in my life right now, without much of a light at the end of the tunnel, and it seems like no matter how down we are, life has to keep kicking us in the damn face over and over again.  I keep hoping something will change, and looking for a way to change things, but the solution has, and continues to elude me.

So that’s it for now.  Time for me to go take a shower.  I’m stinkin’ up the joint.

Hey folks,

Jeez it’s February already! Where does the time go? Anyway, here’s what we have for you in this month’s issue of Rogue Cinema.

Interviews:

Bianca Barnett
John Taylor
Keith Crocker

This Month’s Sleepover Girl:

Deneen Melody has graciously agreed to be our Valentine, and is making a special appearance as this month’s Sleepover Girl!

Articles:

We’ve all gone through slumps in our lives.  Sometimes, personal, sometimes professional.  It hits us all from time to time, and unfortunately, Naama Kates has been going through one herself.  In this fifth installment of her Journey of an Actress series, she talks about the downturn things have taken, how she’s been dealing with it, and about how sometimes, inspiration can come when you least expect it.

Sometimes some of the greatest artists are behind the camera. Such was the case with Nathan Juran, who brought us some of the best and well known classic b-movies ever made. Sadly, many people probably haven’t heard his name before as he was simply a director working behind the camera – an invisible face behind the magic. Well Philip Smolen wants us all to remember this great man for the relatively small but important role he played in cinematic history.

Fairy tales are as synonymous with childhood and this month Independent Filmmaker Jason S. Lockard shares a reworked/retelling of classic fairy tale from writer, director and star Jerry Lewis.

Josh Samford hasn’t done one of his crazy articles for a while now, so this month he thought he’d throw another one against the wall to see if it sticks. This time, Josh is talking about a movie that he thinks should be made. Milo & Otis – Paws of Vengeance. I ain’t even gonna try to describe that one. Just go read it. I dare ya!

Not to be outdone in the crazy department, Danny Runion has a whole new batch of movie mashups shooting out the top of the blender again this month. Now, go get a spatula so we can scrape ‘em off the ceiling and see what he’s on about this time.

Movie Reviews:

Bikini Frankenstein
Cannonball
Deadlands 2: Trapped
Demonia
From the Inside
Hero Tomorrow
Horrible
Hypochondriac
In the Realm of the Senses
Lo
Lost Souls
Night of the Creeps
President’s Day
ROT: Reunion of Terror
S.S. Experiment Love Camp
Sex and Zen
Skin and Bone
The Death of Hollywood
The Final Destination
The Furfangs
The Horror of Cornhole Cove
Torso
Twilight Vamps

Book Reviews:

Lonely Werewolf Girl

So head on over to Rogue Cinema (http://www.roguecinema.com) and check out all the goodness in this month’s issue.

Hope you all enjoy it!