B-Movie Central Cheese Blog

So I went to take a shower, and just as I’m about to get in, I notice that sitting on the outer edge of the bottom of the shower stall was one of those giant blow flies that had gotten in the house. So quickly, like the intrepid hunter, I shut the door so he couldn’t escape. Then I grabbed a magazine off the sink and tried to kill it right there. I didn’t roll up the magazine, so it moved slowly and I missed. So I swatted around at the thing a few times as it flew around, trying to knock it out of the air and stun it so I could kill it. No dice. Magazines that aren’t rolled up are basically ass when it comes to killing much of anything. So it goes to the window. I grab a hand towel off the sink and I snap at it a couple times, knocking over some cleaner bottles that were on the window sil. Again I missed. So now it’s starting to feel like an episode of the Three Stooges. Finally, after several more attempts, I manage to knock it out of the air. It hit the floor stunned next to the shower, maybe three inches out from it. So I snap the towel at it, and I miss, but I cracked the shower base apparently and it made this colossally loud cracking noise that I know had to have stunned the fly even further. Since it was still sitting there stunned, I reared back again, pulled the towel tight between my hands, and….SNAP! Did I hit it? Well, apparently I hit it dead center at the very peak of the snap, because, and I swear this is true, that damn thing exploded, very literally, into like four or five pieces. Usually when you kill a fly it just splats. This one exploded and broke apart. I’ve never seen anything like it. So after I cleaned up all the parts, I took my shower, and now I’m sitting here clean in a towel and a bathrobe typing out my fly killing adventure for the pleasure and enjoyment of all my friends, which I have to say, is not exactly how I saw the events of my evening unfolding, but there you go.