Scott Baio strikes again!

The department of health has discovered people are treating pink eye with human urine and has warned this can have serious repercussions and may even lead to blindness. Superintendent-General of Health Ronald Green-Thompson said the use of urine to treat the infection was picked up by senior opthalmologists around the province who found incidences of keratitis, a disease of the eye, in many of the patients. “Keratitis can lead to permanent damage of the eye which will impair vision and even lead to blindness,” he said. Department spokesperson Lindiwe Khuzwayo said treatment for pink eye was available at clinics and hospitals and people did not need to resort to home remedies. Meanwhile, The Mercury has learnt pupils at some schools in the province are selling the pink eye infection to one another. The parent of a Glenwood school pupil said infected pupils in Grades 11 and 12 were passing on the infection by rubbing their infected eyes with their fingers and then rubbing the eyes of uninfected pupils. The “procedure” costs R5 per pupil. At a Phoenix school, however, the price had dropped to R2.

“…and then these weird aliens came down and took me up into their spaceship and Scott Baio gave me pink eye.”
Jeez, I can just see someone sitting upside down against a wall trying to pee into their own face to cure pink eye. And what’s this crap about selling it??? Jeez, whatever happened to pretending to be sick to get out of a math test?