American Idol BS and Sparkle paper towels…
Ok it’s been a while since I made a post, so here’s a couple of things I’ve been wanting to write about…
I was originally going to start this out with a rant about Sparkle paper towels, but I’ll get to that in a minute. First, I want to talk about the piss poor state of American Idol judging this year. I mean, the judges have always had favorites that they’ve pushed, but I’ve never seen the blatant level of “kneel and bobbing” that’s been going on for Crystal Bowersox this year. They’re slamming brilliant performances by Casey James and Siobahn Magnus, and yet Crystal can do no wrong. In fact, every time she performs, she makes all the others look like kids at a school talent show…right? Well according to these idiotic judges it is. Honestly, Crystal is a great singer, but has all the personality of a piece of wet cardboard. Casey comes out and does great rock n’ roll and smiles a lot and has fun. He’s great to watch. Siobahn…you watch her sing and it’s like watching performance art. She’s an amazing singer…yet you’d never know it by listening to these judges. It’s understandable to have favorite performers. It’s human. The thing is, it’s their job to give these people honest criticisms and advice to help them to become better performers. It’s NOT their job to pick out a golden child and then go out of their way to make everyone else look like crap, whether they’re good or not. Randy’s being a bitch, Ellen rarely says anything constructive, and Kara has turned on full bitch mode this year and all she wants to do is put each person in a specific box of what kind of an artist they’ll be. As for Simon, he’s gotten progressively worse over the last few years, and this year it just feels like he’s phoning it in and doesn’t even want to be there. As for Crystal, she is a great singer, I won’t deny that, but she’s a one trick pony. It’s rare to see her do anything different or interesting, which is something they dinged Casey for…so why not her?
Now as far as Crystal…
Recently she was having a weak moment where she was missing her kid and was thinking about leaving the show because she couldn’t handle the pressure and missed her kid and what not. Boo freakin’ hoo. Bitch, you took up a slot that someone with more desire and more deserving could have taken. You have a chance at something most people would kill for, and you think about throwing it all away because you miss your kid? Talk about selfish! She has this golden opportunity to have a great career, take care of her kid and her family and to have an amazing life, but….boo hoo, I miss my kid. You know what Crystal? Leave. You won’t be missed. In fact, after all the ass kissing by the judges and having to suffer through your unbelievably pathetic excuse for a personality every week, I’ll hold the freakin’ door for you! Oh but wait… Ryan Seacrest saved you from your own idiocy by talking you into staying. What the hell were you thinking Ryan? Did you think the judges would turn on you if you let the ass they like to kiss leave the show? Ok, let’s give Ryan the benefit of the doubt here and assume he was doing something nice by helping her through her depression. Ok cool, that was nice of you Ryan. How is he paid back for it? She posts a tweet saying she was betrayed by him because it leaked out. Wait, what? He saved your ass from making the biggest mistake of your life, and he betrayed you? YOU FREAKIN’ BITCH! Seriously, you’re a bitch. To hell with you Crystal Bowersox. What an ungrateful bitch you are. Maybe you should appreciate the favor he did for you instead of being a friggin’ drama queen. The show would be better off without you, but as long as you’re there, at least try to show some damn class and be gracious when someone helps you out. You’re like a damn cat that bites you when you try to pet it. So take your nasty ass dreads and your nothing personality and crawl into a damn hole somewhere so we can forget you and all the ass kissing we’ve had to endure because of you.
Ok…phew, got that off my chest. Now on to Sparkle paper towels…
We use Sparkle paper towels. We’ve always loved Sparkle paper towels. They’re reasonably priced and they work. However, a while back, they started perforating them in half sheets instead of full sheets. This had three results. First, you can never tear off a full sheet’s worth. It never tears in the spot you want it, and it never tears all the way down. It always hangs on at the bottom and rips the corner off. Second, even if you do manage to tear off a full sheet’s worth, it doesn’t handle like a full sheet because it keeps tenting up in the middle where the perforation is. Third, who the HELL uses a half a sheet of paper towel? What the hell is a half a sheet of paper towel even good for? Wow, you can tear it off and put it next to your plate with a knife and fork on it. Will you use it as a napkin? NO! IT’S A HALF A SHEET OF PAPER TOWEL!!! You can’t even blow your nose into the damn thing without folding it in half! So Sparkle…drop this crap with the half sheets. They’re worthless and a total pain in the ass. Paper towels should come off in one useful full sheet, and that’s it. You’re not reducing waste by splitting them, you’re just making them more of a pain in the ass to use, because we’re still going to use the same amount we always did. Why? Because that’s how much it takes to actually work!
Anyway, that’s it for now. I had some other stuff I wanted to talk about, but I still need to form my thoughts before I post it. I just got over having a pain in the ass cold, so I haven’t been too focused lately. I’m better now though. Did you even ask? No, but I told you anyway…so nyahhhhh!!!! 
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