B-Movie Central Cheese Blog

DETROIT — Detroit police say they’ve found the partially mummified body of a woman in her 80s on the kitchen floor of a house where her mentally troubled sister was living.

Police say they believe the surviving sister had been living with the body for one to three years. They say the body was partially covered with newspapers and that a cat and dog apparently ate part of it.

The Detroit Free Press says authorities removed the surviving sister Wednesday night and took her to a crisis center. She’s also in her 80s and appears to have mental problems.

Police say they went to the house after a neighbor called to express concern.

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Holy crap! I love the part about the corpse being partially eaten by the cat and the dog. This is seriously straight out of a b-movie. And the sister…mental problems – ya think?  Oh man. I know this is horrible, but I haven’t stopped smiling and laughing since I read this. You can’t write stuff this good. It has to actually happen to be this awesome!

I’m just going to get this off my chest right now because it really pisses me off. We have this elitist, worthless ass schmuck named Michael Deeds who writes in the entertainment section for the Idaho Statesman newspaper. Before the Def Leppard concert, he wrote a piece about it that was snotty, condescending, rude and just flat out wrong, not only to the bands involved in this concert, but to the fans who were going to see them.

http://www.idahostatesman.com/276/story/355285.html

Well last night we went to the concert. It was nearly sold out, with apparently 9,277 people in attendance. He had the nerve to actually show up and then to write this review about it.

http://www.idahostatesman.com/newsupdates/story/360130.html

I got news for you you snotty ass hole. There’s probably about 9,276 people in the area right now who attended that concert who want to tell you what a total douche bag you are and stick their foot up your ass sideways. Not only was your review plastered with inaccuracies and insults, but it was written from an elitist twit point of view from someone who obviously doesn’t like or appreciate the type of music you were reviewing. So my question is…why did you go at all? Of the many things that pissed me off in the review, was the part where he said Joe Elliot’s voice sounded weak. If the moron had bothered to look into anything at all, he’d have known that pretty much everyone in the band had been really sick, and Joe Elliot ended up with an upper respiratory tract infection, causing them to postpone their last six shows and take a ten day enforced break from their tour. Boise was their first show back, and personally I think Joe did awesome for someone just coming off a major illness. I doubt any of the rabid fans who filled the arena to see this band that you’re so quick to put into mothballs even noticed or cared. The fact is, they came out and rocked that arena and gave everyone WAY more than their money’s worth.

So Michael Deeds, I say this with absolutely no respect whatsoever. You are a total douche bag and a complete ass hole with no integrity as a journalist, and I’m sure that everyone in that arena last night except for you agrees with me. Maybe if you’re going to pretend to be a journalist, you should at least try to do it right.

* * *

Now, as for our experiences last night…

We left later than we wanted to. It was a mad dash to get to the bank to get money for the t-shirts we bought after the show, then to Wal Mart to get some ear plugs and then finally, after hitting every red light and four way stop on the way that we possibly could, we arrived. Three dollars later, we parked and went up to the entrance.

Getting in was a breeze, but we weren’t sure where our seats were. We just knew they were up toward the front. So we go up there and a security guy helps us find our seats. The stage was T shaped and we were in the 9th row. Where did that put us? Well, it put us right in line with the end of the T and two seats away from it. So basically, every time the guys from Def Leppard came out there, we were literally 10-15 feet away from them. How the hell awesome is that!?! Anyway, the first band up was Styx. I’ll go through the bands one at a time.

Styx:

I’ve never really been into Styx. Why? I have no idea. They were just a band I heard on the radio now and then. I liked their songs but I never really thought much of them. So they came out, and my god! They were just absolutely electric on stage. That band has just a phenomenal stage presence and such incredibly nice and cool personalities that it makes anyone watching them an instant fan! The keyboardist has this rotating synth stand that he can swing around, and he was running around the stage and swinging around on his synth, even playing it backwards at times. The guitarists were both just incredible, as was the bass player and the drummer was simply amazing. After their part of the show, they came out and tossed various things into the audience. Drumsticks, guitar picks, beach balls and even Polaroid snapshots taken by the keyboardist of the various band members toward the end of their act were tossed to the ecstatic audience members. It was an amazing performance and I feel really fortunate to have seen them live.

REO Speedwagon:

I’ve never been a big fan of REO Speedwagon. They have some great songs, but there was something about them I couldn’t really get into. Still, they performed several of their well known hits and did a great job with them. The crowd certainly loved them and they did a really good performance.

Def Leppard:

Next up, Def Leppard came out and the whole place just fell apart. This was their returning show after having to cancel the last six due to Joe Elliot’s upper respiratory tract infection and other general illnesses in the band. You’d never know they’d been sick though. They came out and just rocked the place hard. What surprised me most about seeing them in person is how friggin’ ripped guitarists Phil Collen and Vivian Campbell are – especially Phil Collen. Those guys have been hitting the gym hard and they both were sporting six pack abs and physiques that guys half their age would envy. Bassist Rick Savage also looked to be in quite good shape. Joe looked really good for someone who’s just come off a hard illness, and poor Rick Allen was behind his drum kit the whole time and we really didn’t get to see him at all until they were done at the end and he came out to wave at the crowd. The only bits we saw of him were in the over head video screens that were showing live camera shots of the performers.

There was a large video display behind the band that stretched the length of the stage and had all kinds of great visuals running on it throughout the concert. The most striking visuals were probably during the song “Animal”, as they had a circus / sideshow theme and were really well done.

At various points, the different members of Def Leppard would come out to the end of the runway where we were and play or sing there for a bit, and at one point they even set up four microphones there and performed a couple of songs right next to us. It was just more incredible than I could even begin to describe being that close to them.

Another great thing about Def Leppard is that they’re all super nice guys. You can see that when they’re on stage. They’re all smiles and having a great time. Vivian Campbell even looked at my wife and threw her a smile when they were out next to us. You could tell they were all just having an awesome time, and I really think they appreciated the turn out and the crowd response here in Boise.

Something else that was awesome was afterwards when they were taking their bows out on the end of the stage next to us, Sharon give Phil Collen a big thumbs up and he looked directly at us and said, “Thank you,” and smiled. That was way cool!

It was just an amazing show and everyone in there, except that twit Michael Deeds, had a great time and I seriously doubt they’d have any trouble selling out that arena every time they come back here.

The Crowd:

The crowd, despite what that twit Michael Deeds says, was of a variety of ages, and I don’t know where he was standing, but I didn’t see a single mullet in the house. I think it makes him feel like a big shot ripping on the hair thing, but the fact is, even though Def Leppard has in the past had long hair, they were never really a hair band. They were always way better than that, as is demonstrated by their staying power both on the radio and as a band in general. Again, these subtleties seem to be lost on Deeds, who can’t seem to crawl off of his elitist pedestal long enough to look deeper into the bands he’s writing about.

I’m a tall guy. I’m a bit over 6′ 1″ tall. Wasn’t it a nice surprise for me that I happened to be right behind a dude who was about 6′ 3″. Fortunately he wasn’t one of those people who bee bops around during a concert and stayed pretty still most of the time, which made it pretty easy to see around him. Still, that sucked. His wife and her friend were both a couple of groupie types, and as such were generally annoying, and at times even amusing throughout the entire show. The friend started pounding down beers, and the more beer she got in her, the more energetic she became. Fortunately, when Def Leppard came on they moved over closer to the runway, so we didn’t have to deal with the annoyances so much.

Then there was this other guy. This was between REO and Def Leppard while they were changing the stage over. He was standing there, arms folded in a blue shirt. I nudged Sharon and said, “Hey, doesn’t that guy look like David Hasselhoff?” She started laughing and said she was going to ask me later if I saw the guy that looked like David Hasselhoff.

Another thing I found funny, and I mentioned this to Sharon, was how times have changed. Back in the day during ballads, people would hold up lighters. Some people still do, but now you also see a huge number of lit up cell phone displays instead of lighters. I just thought that was amusing.

The security was really on the ball for this event. They did an excellent job with crowd control without being too overbearing. One guy scooted up into the front section where we were and got by the runway and the security guy was on him with a quickness and removed him. Whether he got taken back to his seat or actually removed from the arena I don’t know. The security guy had a hold of him the whole time I saw him being taken away though.

There was a nice guy sitting next to us with this really hot, totally yummy girl. I thought she was his wife. I came to find out later…it was his daughter!!! She was probably somewhere around 19 or 20. He didn’t look that old…maybe around my age, so I just assumed it was his wife. Then I got to thinking about it. I could have a daughter that old now too if I had had her when I was 18 or 19. How messed up is that?

After the show we went out and bought three t-shirts for $115 bucks. Yes you read that right. But for us it was worth it. Who knows if we’d get this chance again, and it was a really special night for us all around. We actually took over twice that much to buy stuff, but three t-shirts sufficed for us and we left happy, having seen an awesome show and having the best time we’ve probably ever had.

So that was our concert experience. A HUGE thank you to Def Leppard, Styx and REO Speedwagon for putting on such an awesome show. I really hope Def Leppard comes back around in the next year or two. We’d both totally love to see them again, and I’m sure the rest of the people who came last night (except the twit) would love to see them again too.

I was looking through the pets section on Craig’s List tonight and I came across an ad from this guy looking to sell his five year old macaw.  Why?  Because he’s going off to college and won’t have time for him anymore.

Now, why am I posting the text of this guy’s ad here?  Well…read it.  This guy’s about to go off to college.  I think, like me, you’ll probably find that he either bribed the admissions board or got in on an athletic scholarship.

I’ll bold his happy accidents for you so they stand out a little better.

:Ad:

“I have a five year old macaw, I have not sexed him, I think its a boy. he likes to play tug war, he says hello, step up, pretty bird, and he wistles. i just dont have time for him anymore, im getting ready to go to collage and cant take him with me. he comes with his cage, and all acceceries. he is hand tame, but like all birds you have to be carefull with him, he likes his head to be rubbed, and dances to music. his favirot is bananas, and apples. Make offer.”

:End Ad:

Now, let’s just take these in order.  Follow along in the ad for each successive bold item.

1. Comma should be a period (End of a sentence)
2. Should be “him, but I”
3. Should be “it’s”
4. Should be a capital H in “He” (Start of a sentence)
5. Should be “tug o’ war”
6. Comma should be a period (End of a sentence)
7. Should be a capital H in “He” (Start of a sentence)
8. No comma needed.
9. Whistles is misspelled.  When did the rest of us learn how to spell that?  First grade?
10. Should be a capital “I” (Start of a sentence and “I” is always capitalized anyway)
11. Don’t is missing the apostrophe.
12. Comma should be a period (End of a sentence)
13. Should be “I’m” (Start of a sentence, “I” and “I’m” are always capitalized and it’s missing the apostrophe)
14. It’s spelled “college” brainiac.  A “collage” is a piece of artwork made by pasting a bunch of pictures together.
15. Can’t is missing the apostrophe.
16. Should be a capital H in “He” (Start of a sentence – but kudos for actually getting the period right this time ya’ friggin’ dingleberry)
17. No comma needed.
18. It’s spelled “accessories” numb nuts.  The way you spelled it made me want to lean to one side and fall out of my chair.
19. Should be a capital H in “He” (Start of a sentence)
20. Should be a comma between “birds” and “you”
21. Careful spelled with too many l’s.  That last one is hanging there like a turd that won’t quite pinch off.
22. Comma should be a period.  (End of a sentence)
23. Should be a capital H in “He” (Start of a sentence)
24. No comma needed.
25. Should be a capital H in “His” (Start of a sentence)
26. Where the hell did you pull “favirot” out of?  It’s spelled “favorite” you twit
27. It should say “favorite foods are” (The word “foods” is missing and “is” should be “are”)
28. No comma needed
29. Incomplete sentence (but we can let this one slide as it’s a common statement in classified ads.

What’s really sad about this is that there are so many people out there who would love to go to college and who’ve worked hard and gotten good grades, but they can’t afford all the costs involved.  This moron, whose teachers should all be shot and then hanged publicly for letting someone like this actually pass through school, is going to be taking up a space in college that should be going to a far more deserving student.  It’s a pretty messed up world we live in isn’t it?

This one just rules…

“Gary Busey evicted from his Malibu home. Landlord handed him the eviction notice and then ran far, far away, really fast.”

I pasted it to my wife at work and she said I was so lucky she wasn’t drinking something when she read it.

Still, I feel sorry for Gary.  Not cool man.  Not cool at all.  Wonder how he ended up getting evicted?

I was thinking about doing a huge rant about the pope and Jimmy Carter and some other stuff, but then I found this…

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/04/11/wtreeman111.xml

Seeing what this poor guy is having to live with and go through, it really sort of puts things in perspective and makes you appreciate how lucky you are. I really feel for him and I hope the doctors can help him to lead somewhat of a normal life.

NEW YORK — There’s another side to Alicia Keys: conspiracy theorist. The Grammy-winning singer-songwriter tells Blender magazine: “‘Gangsta rap’ was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other. ‘Gangsta rap’ didn’t exist.”

Keys, 27, said she’s read several Black Panther autobiographies and wears a gold AK-47 pendant around her neck “to symbolize strength, power and killing ‘em dead,” according to an interview in the magazine’s May issue, on newsstands Tuesday.

Another of her theories: The bicoastal feud between slain rappers Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G. was fueled “by the government and the media, to stop another great black leader from existing.”

Keys’ AK-47 jewelry came as a surprise to her mother, who is quoted as telling Blender: “She wears what? That doesn’t sound like Alicia.” Keys’ publicist, Theola Borden, said Keys was on vacation and unavailable for comment.

Though she’s known for her romantic tunes, she told Blender that she wants to write more political songs. If black leaders such as the late Black Panther Huey Newton “had the outlets our musicians have today, it’d be global. I have to figure out a way to do it myself,” she said.

The multiplatinum songstress behind the hits “Fallin”‘ and “No One” most recently had success with her latest CD, “As I Am,” which sold millions.

* * *

Sometimes I think that celebrity status is actually the cause of a condition not unlike mad cow disease that actually eats holes in these people’s brains. It would be a lot more amusing if I didn’t know there were tons of non-celebrity morons out there ready, willing and eager to hang on their every word and buy into all this crap. The bitch is half-white anyway but for whatever reason seems to hate white people. She doesn’t seem to be offended by taking white people’s money though now does she? If she hates white people so much, why don’t she just make all her album sales and concerts for blacks only? Oh I see, she only hates white people…not their money. Hypocritical bitch. I never listened to the idiot anyway because I found her annoying, but if I had listened to her, after these statements I’d have thrown her CD’s where they belong – in the garbage.

I came across this story today in my daily web travels and thought…man, that funny as hell. The picture just makes it. If it was a story without a picture it wouldn’t have been anywhere near as funny.

Ok let’s see, what else? I haven’t posted anything in a while, so I must have something interesting to say.

I guess I can start off by saying that…ONLY 15 MORE DAYS TO THE DEF LEPPARD CONCERT!!! WOOHOO!!!

Jesus christ! Is my life really that boring? Lemme think here. There has to be something else I can talk about…

Our dogs stink. It’s time to give them a bath. Christ, I need a shower too. I got the funk. I should probably go work out first, but I’m so damn sleepy today that I can’t seem to muster up the energy. Ain’t neither one of us slept all that much last night. We slept a lot this weekend, so we had a really hard time falling asleep last night.

Oh, American Idol this week is inspirational songs on Tuesday and Idol Gives Back on Wednesday. I was going to skip Wednesday anyway because it’s a bunch of crap where rich celebrities try to get Joe six-pack to give up some of his or her hard earned money in an already failing economy. If they’re so friggin’ rich and feeling so guilty about it, let them put up all the money instead of asking everyone else for it. Your average household is having enough trouble making ends meet as it is. I don’t see any of these celebs having to feed their own families cheap ass food and sitting around the house all the time because they can’t afford to hardly ever go out and enjoy themselves. They’re living high on the hog, so they’re the ones who should be putting up all the money. Hell, Bill Gates alone could donate what they collected last year without ever missing it. Hell, it’s like pocket change for him. Why don’t they hit rich people up for the money and then tell us how much they managed to get at the end of the season on the finale show or something? It’s all just feel-good BS and I’m totally going to skip it. I’m going to skip Tuesday’s show too because I don’t want to hear a bunch of preachy ass inspirational songs. I especially despise songs with a religious theme, and I’m sure at least one of them will do something like that (probably Kristy Lee Cook), so I’ll just skip the whole thing this week. American Idol this week = Lame

Now, Rock of Love II is another show we watch every week. I was pissed when Bret sent Jessica home because she’s an absolute sweetheart and anyone who doesn’t want her is out of their freakin’ mind. Still, she was awful young for him. This last episode though, he FINALLY sent Destiny home. I still can’t believe she made it as long as she did. It was a sad episode though because he invited their parents, and her mother and father show up and it turns out her father has liver cancer and was given six months to live. Christ, that was a serious bummer. Bret did something really nice for him though and at the end they said, “In memory of…” so I guess the doctors were right in their estimate. By the time the show aired, the poor guy was dead.

Anyway, she just wasn’t feelin’ it for Bret the way the other two were so she’s gone. Now it’s just Daisy and Ambre. If he thinks with his dick, he’ll pick Daisy. If he thinks with his head, he’ll pick Ambre. Daisy ain’t the sharpest pencil in the box, but she is really hot. Ambre is pretty hot too, but at least she’s intelligent, which is something Daisy don’t have much of. Daisy has WAY too much baggage anyway and stuff that she doesn’t want to talk about. That’s a huge red flag right there. Ambre shaved five years off her age when she told Bret how old she was too. She’s actually my age, 37. In the grand scheme of things though, that’s so minuscule compared to the crap with Daisy, that it shouldn’t even be considered. Actually, it’s good that she’s 37, because that puts her closer to his age of 44. I’m not sure how old Jessica was, but he was probably old enough to be her daddy. “Hey Jessica…who’s your daddy?” (Wish it was me…*drool*)

Anyway, the finale show is next week. So we’ll find out then which head Bret’s thinking with.

Another show we kinda watch is Flavor of Love 3. It’s been pretty crappy this season though and with a horrible crop of girls, so we really don’t go out of our way to catch it. We don’t have any New York’s or Pumpkin’s this season. No…this season, we got a bunch of no class worthless ho’s, and a pair of twins that look like someone caught a couple of bigfoot, shaved them down (leaving horrible bangs), threw some ill fitting clothes on them and taught them to speak. This crop of girls this season was so bad, they actually brought in four new girls that were a lot better just to try to save things. Hell, one of them even looks like a frizzy, bigfoot version of Grace Jones, only this one probably has a penis and is more light skinded. I guess we’ll all just have to accept the fact that Flavor Flav will never find love. I would cry about that, but I have an appointment with my toes for a thorough sock fuzz cleaning and I don’t want to miss it. Still, I do have to admit Flavor Flav has a very amusing personality, which is about the only reason I watch the show. I could care less about the girls. It’s just fun to watch him. He’s like a living cartoon character.

Oh well, I guess that’s enough for now. I better go shower and get cleaned up before the paint starts peeling off the walls.

Hey folks,

Well it’s that time again. The April issue of Rogue Cinema has been posted, and we have a pretty full issue for you this month. Here’s what we have for you this time around…

Interviews:

Alan Chan
Greg Lamberson
Joe Davison
Monique Dupree
Nicole Blessing

This Month’s Sleepover Girl:

The beautiful and extremely talented Anna Bridgforth is our April Sleepover Girl.

Articles:

David Stephenson some practical advice for women about selecting movies and also their behavior at said movies.

Danny Runion blending up more movie goodness in the movie blender.

(Note: There should be one more article about the Monster Mania festival, but there was a problem with it and I’m waiting for the updated copy so I can post it. That should be coming soon.)

Movie Reviews:

AIR
Carver (Brian’s Review)
Carver (Jason’s Review)
Cave Women on Mars – (Rogue Cinema Cinematic Excellence Award Winner)
Dead Moon Rising
Deadwood Park
Doomsday
Evil Aliens
Genetics
I Fucking Hate You
Ice from the Sun
Jack Ketchum’s The Lost
Livelihood
Mockingbird
NG
Road Less Traveled Episode II: Path Not Taken
Savage Harvest
Savage Harvest 2: October Blood
Saved From The Flames
Scrapbook
The Bad Seed
The Cartel
The Cell Phone
The Cook
The Dragon Painter
The Importance of Being Russell
The Man in the Garage
The Severed Head Network
Werewolf in a Women’s Prison

Book Reviews:

Johnny Gruesome

So head on over to Rogue Cinema (http://www.roguecinema.com) and check out all the goodness in this month’s issue.

Hope you all enjoy it!