B-Movie Central Cheese Blog

I just thought this was really amusing and wanted to share it with you all…

http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/90187/detail/

Seriously…awesome.

There’s been a steady stream of pathetic movies coming out lately, and yes, I’m going to bitch about them.  Was there even a question?

Let’s start with a movie that struck me as being insanely stupid as soon as I saw the first commercial for it.   I’m going to bitch about three movies here, but I’m starting with this one because it struck me as being the stupidest and obviously written by someone who has no clue what they’re talking about.  That movie is Untraceable.

Basically it’s apparently about a guy who sets up a website where he broadcasts video of some victim he has strapped down to a table and the guy’s getting pumped full of something that will kill him…but only a tiny bit at a time.  The more hits the site gets, the more of the drug is pumped into him.  So basically, the site visitors are killing the guy just by visiting.  Ok…  So the cops are trying to find the guy, but they can’t because they say the site is untraceable.

Now, obviously whoever wrote this movie has no clue about how the internet works.  There is no way to put ANYTHING on the internet without it being traceable in one way or another.  Sure, you can make it really difficult using proxy servers or infected zombie machines, but because of the way TCP/IP works and the fact that it’s the only protocol used on the internet, there’s really no way to hide forever if they really want to find you.  How fast they could do it is up for debate, but what isn’t up for debate is the fact that no site is untraceable.  I mean hell, all they’d have to do to knock the site off the net is to contact whoever handles the DNS resolution for the site and have them remove the name from the DNS server and cancel the domain.  Even if the guy used a static IP address, that’s seriously easy to trace.  There are scripts that will tell you right down to the city where the IP is used, and it’s certainly not hard to find the internet provider that owns the IP.  I could do that in literally less than 10 seconds.  So basically what I’m saying is, the whole premise of the movie is completely lame and it should be avoided like the plague if you value your IQ and don’t want to lose a few points from watching this idiocy.

Then there’s another movie called Cloverfield.  Basically, some big monster or something is destroying New York and the movie is basically what’s being shot on someone’s personal video camera and follows the experiences of a small group trying to escape and survive, kinda like The Blair Witch Project.  Now first of all, I thought TBWP was stupid as hell, and I was especially pissed that we didn’t get to see the Blair Witch or anything, even at the end.  It was kinda like sitting down to take a big crap and nothing but a fart comes out.  Very unsatisfying.  Anyway, this movie is apparently much  the same.  You don’t really see the monster much, if at all.  All you see is a bunch of schmucks that you couldn’t care less about running from a monster that you’d rather be watching.  Doesn’t that seem kinda like watching a porn movie with no nudity or sex?

Lastly, there’s Rambo.  What the hell were they thinking?  First of all, Stallone is an unbelievably hypocritical schmuck.  He’s very anti-gun, and yet he makes millions of dollars making movies full of guns where he’s constantly shooting people.  What an ass!  No one should see this movie simply for that reason, but if you need another reason…it’s another Rambo movie and the guy is like, old.  We don’t need any more Rocky movies, and we sure as hell don’t need any more Rambo movies.  It’s time for his worthless old ass to retire already.

Oh, and I just remembered one more I wanna bitch about.  The Eye starring Jessica Alba.  Basically it’s about a girl who gets an eye transplant from someone who donated their organs and then she starts seeing stuff the dead person saw…or something to that effect.  Yawn!  Jesus Christ, how many times is that plot going to be used?  It’s been used numerous times in numerous films.  It’s been done to death.  Why the hell can’t these people come up with any original ideas???

Anyway, I got all that bitching out of my system now, so I’m gonna go eat dinner.  Remember though, if you don’t spend your hard earned money on these crappy movies, maybe they’ll get a clue and stop making crappy movies.  The same goes for music, but that’s a whole different post.

Top 100 quotes from a fundamentalist christians found around the net on various sources. Check this out and if you still don’t know why I hate religion and what it does to people, then you’re just seriously clueless.

http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx?archive=1

The quotes range from funny to REALLY psychotic and scary. Here’s an example of a funny one:

I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don’t think he’s ready to date yet. What’s worse is that he’s sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!

Linda, Good news prayer room

And here’s an example of a scary one:

[Talking about an eleven year old girl who was raped and then buried alive]

god was sacrificing this child as a way to show others the light. much as he did his own child. what a beautiful gift he has given us.

Howie R, Yahoo Answers

There’s all manner of psychotic nonsense there. It’s really amazing how messed up religion can make people.

I had to download Wednesday night’s American Idol for Sharon and I to watch because DirectTV was messing up again.  I think it’s because it’s been really cold and there are a lot of ice crystals in the atmosphere and what not so it’s screwing up the signal.  Really irritates me because we’re paying for that crap and we can’t even watch it when stuff like that happens.

Anyway, we watched it tonight.  It started out with a girl who was pretty and had a couple of kids, but she was into meth in college and eventually, after getting busted and having all kinds of problems with it, she finally cleaned herself up and straightened her life out.  You know…I don’t know if it’s just me, but these sob stories and the stories of redemption and what not are getting pretty old.  I’d rather see the freaks.  At least they’re funny.

The very last guy was this little Asian pimp guy.  All he needed was some platform shoes and a cane and he’d have been all set to be the king of pimpdom.  Anyway, he was super nice and sang an original song he wrote and all the judges got into it and they even brought Ryan in for the fun.  The guy was just infectious and everyone was having a great time.  Simon even gave him a hug at the end.  He wasn’t that bad of a singer, and considering his thick Asian accent, I was surprised he sang as clearly as he did.  Anyway, Sharon thinks we’ll probably see him again on the final show of the season where they bring in people who didn’t make it and give them awards for different things.  I don’t know if anything will top last year’s where Clay Aiken came out and that dude had a total freakout / heart attack.  That was absolutely priceless.

Anyway, next week they’re in San Diego.  Hopefully it’s another fun audition.

Now for other stuff…

Later today I have some errands I have to run, including taking our dog Rocky in for his shots.  Now Rocky is an amazing dog, but Jesus Christ, you take him to the vet and he has a total melt down.  He freaks out and loses control of his bowels and starts squirting runny crap everywhere.  I have no idea why he freaks out like that.  I’m thinking I’ll ask them to just weigh him and pull the shots and let me give them to him.  I don’t want him biting anyone.  I can’t trust him to not snap at someone when he’s freaked out like that.  I’ve put a muzzle on him before, but that just makes it worse.  Last time, I drugged him with tranquilizers they gave me, but he still turned into a crap fountain.  It’d be nice if they’d come outside to give him the shots so he doesn’t have to be like that, but I don’t know if they will or not.  We’ll see.  Man, I can’t tell you how much I’m NOT looking forward to this whole thing.

And lastly…yet another bunch of religious idiots trying to impose their will on everyone…

http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=148&sid=2502027

You know, if these idiots would get laid once in a while or watch a good porn movie, they might lighten up and start enjoying life a little.  I guess it’s too much fun for them trying to force their beliefs and feelings on everyone though.  Jerks!

If I was the owner of that Gold’s Gym, I’d tell them to go to hell.  No one’s forcing those idiots to go to that particular gym anyway.  If they don’t like it, they can just go somewhere else.  I’m sure it’s not the only gym in town.

Anyway, that’s it for now.  I’m tired but I can’t sleep.  Not sure what I’m going to do right now.  I’m tired but wide awake and seriously bored.

All kinds of different stuff in this one…

Let’s start out with something that happened the other day that was yet another in a LONG list of examples of how bad religion messes people up.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2004115587_webhand09m.html

Some of you may have heard of this one.  The guy is from my state, Idaho, which is chock full of Mormons and other Christians.  Check out the article, but the long and the short of it is, the guy, in his mid 20′s, thought he saw the “mark of the beast” on his hand, so he cut off his hand and then proceeded to put it in the microwave.  I guess he nuked it.  No word on whether or not he hooked himself up with a chainsaw replacement on the bloody stub.  The story has the details, but that’s the long and the short of it.

Let’s see, what else?

Oh, someone contacted me about possibly buying B-Movie Central.  He said he’d pay a fair price.  I wrote back to him and asked him what he considered a fair price.  Why did I write back and ask that?  Because I was curious.  Would I ever sell B-Movie Central?  Well, after over five and a half years of work, this site is my baby.  It would take one hell of a lot of money to get me to give it up.  Certainly more than anyone would be willing to pay I’m sure.  I mean, it’d have to be an offer I couldn’t refuse.  Like, it’d have to pay off my house or something.  You can’t put as much heart and effort into a site as I have and give up on it so easily.  By the way, if anyone wants to offer me an assload of money for the site, I would listen.  Don’t know if I could part with it, but it’d be interesting to hear the offers.  The one big selling point is that if you type b-movie into Google, this site is usually within the top 3 results.  I can’t think of any other reason anyone would really be all that interested in it.  I do get lots of traffic, but he couldn’t know that without me providing stats, so it had to be the Google thing.  Anyway, we’ll see what he says.  I’m not expecting anything all that spectacular.  This isn’t like a YouTube where someone’s gonna offer me millions for it.  By the way, if someone did offer me millions, I’d just take my stuff and move it to a different domain.  I may be sentimental, but I ain’t stupid.

Moving on…

Oh, Vampira died.  I’m not really up on her work and don’t know all that much about her other than her work with Ed Wood, what I saw of her in interviews she did on an Ed Wood documentary and that she sued Elvira once for biting her style.  Still, she was in innovator and created something really cool that inspired generations of hot young girls to follow in her footsteps.  One thing that always stuck with me is that she said she got VD from Orson Welles.  I always thought that was kinda sick / funny.  I know it shouldn’t be funny, but for some reason it struck me funny and made me kinda sick at the same time.  Anyway, she will be missed.  It just marks the passing of another classic b-movie icon.

And finally…

American Idol started last night.  I love the audition episodes.  It started off last night with an awesome one.  A horrible audition and they stuck Paula telling the poor schmuck that they couldn’t sing.  She was trying desperately to be nice and to not say it and Randy and Simon were totally messing with her and wouldn’t let her off the hook.  It was really hilarious.  Randy finally rescued her, but man that was funny.

I do have to say one thing though.  I’m sick to death of these sob stories they tell about some of these people.  One of them had an uber fat mama.  One of them was a single mom with a palsy kid.  I mean come on, we all have freakin’ problems.  You’re there to audition for a show.  Don’t play the friggin’ sympathy card just to get everyone feeling sorry for you.  Go in, do your thing and then let the chips fall where they may.  Your problems are just that – your problems.  I got enough trouble dealing with my own problems without worrying about yours too.  So I wish American Idol would stop feeding these people’s need for sympathy and just make them do what they’re supposed to be there to do.

Actually, I have something else to say as well.  Don’t dress like an idiot and go in there expecting to have your singing taken seriously.  Some girl was dressed like Princess Leia last night, and then had the nerve to get pissed off because she wasn’t chosen.  She wasn’t THAT bad of a singer, but she wasn’t good enough to be on the show.  She assumed she didn’t make it only because of how she looked and was bitching about it incessantly afterwards.

People, do your family and friends a favor.  If they can’t sing and for whatever reason they think they’re going to be the next American Idol, be kind to them and relieve them of their delusions so they don’t get a reality hammer upside their head in the audition room.  It’s that old thing about being cruel to be kind.  I mean, I see people go in to audition that sing like two cats having sex behind some garbage cans, and then when they’re not selected, they leave the audition room and are greeted with sympathy by their disappointed friends and family.  I watch that and all I can think is, “Why the hell didn’t even ONE of you tell this idiot they’re a talentless wanker?  Did you people REALLY think this tone deaf idiot was going to get passed on to Hollywood?  Did you really think they’d go in that audition room and get compliments and flowers from the judges?  What’s wrong with you people?”

Anyway, in the future, do your friends and family a favor and don’t let them live in their own little world of self-delusion.  If they ask your opinion, be honest, no matter how much it hurts.  You’ll only be doing them a favor.   You don’t have to be an ass about it.  Give them constructive criticism and encourage them to take voice lessons or something, but in the end, honesty is the key.

And finally…

Tomorrow my wife starts her new job as the Controller at her work.  I’m really really proud of her and I know she’s going to be awesome.  Way to go honey!  Good luck!

Anyway, that’s it for now.  On to other things.

Just found this article stating yet again something which every intelligent person figured out a long time ago.

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2008801060602

I have a concealed carry permit and so does my wife.  I don’t take a gun with me everywhere I go, but I do take it with me when we go to the mall or Wal Mart or if we go out at night or to the park.  I also take it when we go to my parent’s house just in case we break down in between because it’s a long drive through basically nothing.  It’s easy to get concealed carry permits here in Idaho and we have a VERY low crime rate compared to other places.  You go to a heavy gun control state like California and then come to a place like Idaho and it’s like night and day.  It’s not hard to figure out why.

Cops are there to clean up the mess.  They’re not going to ride with you in your car to prevent car jackings or walk with you down the street to stop you from getting mugged.  They only show up after the fact to clean up what’s left of you.  How many fewer people would have died in that last mall shooting if numerous people in there had been armed and able to stop that idiot?

Australia banned most firearms several years ago.  Now guns come in on the black market and their murder rate’s gone up something like 300%.  You disarm the populace and you make them nothing more than prey for the predators.  Like I always said, it’s better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it.  And for all you pansy ass liberals out there who piss your pants when you even look at a picture of a gun, think about what it would be like to be walking along with your family at night, unarmed, and then suddenly getting jumped.  You then get to watch them getting beaten and mugged in front of you and you can do nothing to stop it.  Now imagine you have a gun with you and you could stop it.  You pull your gun and either shoot the mugger(s) or scare him (them) off, thereby saving your family.  Which scenario would you rather have?  If you say you’d rather be unarmed and watch your family get beaten or killed just because you’re afraid of guns or don’t want to give up on your high horse liberal values, then you deserve what you get and your family should know that they can never count on you if things go bad someday.

Anyway, things like this should be pointed out more often.  That’s why I’m doing a post about it.  I’ll try to find something funny to post again later tonight or tomorrow.

This is one of those stories that will make you say, “Huh? What the hell???” followed most likely by a laugh and a big smile when you get hit with the mental image of it happening.

http://www.mysuncoast.com/global/Story.asp?s=7579170

I just found this amusing so I thought I’d dhare it.

Going to the bank in a few minutes and then I’m gonna take my wifey out for dinner.  Hopefully to Chinese buffet, but who knows.  I think she had Chinese for lunch so she may not want it again.  Then again, we both love Chinese food, so maybe we will.

Anyway, we’ll go somewhere.  Looking forward to a nice weekend of basically doing nothing but spending time with my wife and doggies.  Hope you all’s weekend is fun too.

You all know how I feel about religion and the idiots it turns people into. Well here’s another prime example of why I feel the way I do.

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=59526

Why is it that religious people are always so concerned with what other people are doing? Maybe they should stop and take a look at their own behavior and hypocrisy and stop using religion as an excuse to run around being jerks and busybodies.

No one who values individual freedom could ever fall into the trap of religion. They’re polar opposites. I value individual freedom, truth and honor above all things, which is why religion is so repugnant to me.

Anyway, I found this and at not even 8am in the morning, it already managed to irritate me with it’s stupidity, so I thought I’d share it with you all. If I come across something that’s actually funny I’ll post it later on today sometime.

No wait…I found another one.  This one is more funny though…

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=505880&in_page_id=1770

Some Chinese artist made a bunch of statues of pop culture figures, including one of Jesus with an erection.  Naturally religious people are all pissed off about it because apparently Jesus isn’t allowed to have erections.  Man, sucks to be him!  No boners, no women, has to hang out with a bunch of smelly guys for years and then he gets nailed to a cross.  How much suck is that?  I mean all that other stuff was bad enough…but no boners?  Not cool man!

Don’t you hate it when you do something that you think is harmless but then it screws up a bunch of other stuff?  That’s what I did recently.  See, I changed 1 little php.ini setting on the server to fix something on the main B-Movie Central site, and it messed up something in Rogue Cinema.  1 line added to the htaccess to disable that php function for Rogue Cinema fixed it.  All is good…so I thought.  I just discovered now that the blogs won’t work with that setting enabled either, so basically this blog, my wife’s blog and the It Came From Lake Michigan site have all been down for a day or two because of that change I made.  I changed the setting back in the php.ini now and just enabled it for the B-Movie Central main site now and all is good.  Still, what a major pain in the ass.

I’m trying to think if anything else is going on that’s worth reporting…

Can’t think of anything in particular.  If I think of anything later I’ll come back and post something.  Mostly I just wanted to let you all know what happened and that it’s fixed.