B-Movie Central Cheese Blog

In the Philippines Filipinos do it (and how they do it! Think 85 million Filipinos) but a recent survey found that quite a number of them did not know what “doing it” led to. Exactly a week into the government’s Ligtas-Buntis campaign, Health Secretary Manuel Dayrit said couples with no notion of family planning lacked even the “very basic” knowledge of how children were conceived. “They don’t know how pregnancy happens. Many don’t even understand that they have a uterus … [It's] incredulous but it’s true,” said Dayrit at a media briefing yesterday. A recent survey by the private polling firm Social Weather Stations found that only 30 percent of all Filipino couples practiced any form of family planning, either through artificial or natural means. Of the 70 percent that did not use any method, the Department of Health (DoH) said 30 to 40 percent practiced family planning at one point but had stopped, while the remaining 30 percent had “no notion” at all or were considered “ignorant” of family planning. Some of those who were ignorant did not know how conception took place, while some women even thought that their menstrual discharge came from the blood that flowed through their veins instead of as a result of the shredding of the uterine wall, Dayrit said. “So you can just imagine why very few people practice family planning,” he said. Dayrit blamed their ignorance of sexual health and functions on the lack of education among Filipinos, especially the poor who tend to drop out of school and get pregnant early. He said the values system in the country also contributed to the low level of education on sex and fertility among couples. The Catholic Church in the Philippines opposes the use of artificial methods of family planning and even reminded the health workers involved in the Ligtas-Buntis campaign of their “right to conscientious objection.” “What we’re doing is [trying to] create a healthy supportive environment where people can talk about sex, fertility … because it is not happening; a lot of it is cultural,” Dayrit said. “Knowledge is often tempered by values, and if their values are such that they reject knowledge, there’s nothing we can about it. We’re doing this (Ligtas-Buntis campaign) in the hope that, eventually, they can prevent pregnancies if they wish,” he said. Health workers in Central Luzon and Bicol regions had talked to around 1,500 couples the past week, according to initial field reports. Dayrit expressed confidence the national and local governments would be able to reach the two-million target couples who are said to have an unmet need for family planning.

So there’s 85 million people running around an island nation, most of who have no concept of how babies are conceived, and yet the catholic church tries to keep that knowledge from them and keep them living in ignorance. I used to wonder why the catholic church was so against birth control, but a long time ago I figured out how they operate, and this is just another example. Keep people ignorant and get them to breed like rabbits because more ignorant minds means more money and power for the church that keeps them that way. It’s really sad. I hope the government manages to educate as many people as possible. It’s not right that in this day and age there’s so many people who are so totally ignorant about their bodies, and about life in general.

AHMEDABAD: In a shocking incident, a 22-year-old youth of Ahmedabad district castrated himself earlier this week to do away with the root cause of his sexual frustration! Bachu Mafabhai, a resident of Sadatpura in Detroj town, chopped off his penis with a sharp blade on Tuesday morning, which according to his own confession, was to get rid himself of the root cause of his unfulfilled sexual desires that were making life miserable for him. “I could not sleep for nights on end, I would just keep tossing and turning in bed,” Bachu, who had a broken wedding engagement four years ago, told TNN. To escape the daily misery unleashed by his unfulfilled desires, Bachu chopped off his sexual organ and buried it near his home. “Luckily,my wife saw him burying something and saw a stream of blood flowing from his clothes. On knowing what had happened, we immediately recovered his organ and shifted him to a hospital,” Naran, who is Bachu’s elder brother, told TNN. Naran said that Bachu had been showing a deviant behaviour after his marriage engagement was called off because of his drinking problem. “It is difficult to get girls for marriage in our region, as brides come for a price. There are many boys like Bachu who want to get married but are not able to find girls. It is a big problem.” Meanwhile, doctors at the Civil Hospital have successfully put the severed sexual organ back in place with the help of micro-surgery. “Luckily, the blade used was sharp and the cut was clean. We have successfully put the organ back by joining one artery and two vessels,” Dr Ayappan Pillai, senior plastic surgeon, said. “We do get cases of men with severed sexual organs, on and off, but this kind of self-amputation is rare. This boy’s case is apparently a case of extreme sexual frustration manifesting in a bizarre way,” Dr Naeem Sheikh, head of the plastic surgery department, said. Dr Sheikh had also referred the boy to the psychiatric department. Experts say that persons like Bachu are left to fight a lone battle without any proper guidance and exposure to sex education. “At the core of the problem lies the fact that while children and youths are getting exposed to sexual temptations at a very early age, the marriage age is going up. This has led to a whole range of sex-related problems amongst youths,” Dr Laxman Malodiya, director of Ahmedabad AIDS Control Society, says. “There is a grave need to address the youths, especially the uneducated ones, who suffer due to ignorance and myths. This fellow could have resorted to masturbation, but there is a stigma surrounding the same, and the myth that it strips the males of their potency. All this has to change,” Dr Malodiya said.

You know what this guy needs? Well first he needs to be slapped around for being a moron, but then he needs to head on over for some serious cyberlovah lessons from Herb Zipper on how to get his mega nut on. (watch the video)

Ah yes, yet another awards show where all the Hollywood morons can get together and pat each other on the back and tell themselves how great they are. I wonder if anyone out there really cares except them? Most people probably think they’re a bunch of out of touch idiots who get together several times a year at various awards shows just to pat each other on the back and tell themselves how great they are. See how that works? They don’t realize what they are, but everyone on the outside of the back-patting loop sees them for what they are. Oh, and Chris Rock. You’re a huge moron, you’re not funny, and awards shows aren’t the place for political jokes and commentary. That’s not what the oscars were meant to be, so idiots like you and Susan Sarandon and her talentless husband and Whoopie Goldberg are all just adding to people’s distaste for you by doing that crap. I miss the old days when all the classic actors would show up for the oscars and it would be a nice awards show that facinated America with its glitz and glamour. Now it’s degraded into nothing more than a political rally for the Democrats. Lame.

NEILLSVILLE, Wis. (AP) — A 63-year-old man is charged with sexual gratification with an animal for allegedly having sex with calves. Harold G. Hart, of Neillsville, allegedly told police that he routinely stopped at a Greenwood farm, usually after bar closing or on trips to strip clubs near Marshfield or Neillsville. A criminal complaint filed in Clark County Circuit Court said the farm’s owners installed a motion detector on Jan. 22 after regularly seeing footprints and vehicle tracks on their land. Around 4 a.m. the next morning, a sensor sounded and Hart was caught leaving the barn, but Hart allegedly said he just used a bathroom in the barn and had never been there before. Hart told police he had sex with heifers before he went into the service in 1963 and resumed about a year ago at the farm. He admitted to using a rope to tie calves around the neck and estimated he had been to the farm “at least 50 times,” according to the complaint. He told police he never had sex with animals while maintaining a relationship with his a girlfriend or his wife, the complaint said. Hart also is charged with disorderly conduct and two counts of obstructing an officer. Each charge carries up to nine months in jail. Hart is scheduled to appear in court March 10.

I only got one thing to say. Moooooo go boy!

ANIMAL FACTORY star TOM ARNOLD is having acupuncture in his testicles to help him become a dad. Arnold, ex-husband of comedienne ROSEANNE BARR, has spent the past several months trying to conceive a child with his wife SHELBY ROOS and has taken various measures – such as losing weight and giving up smoking – for the venture. But he recently realised just how tough the procedure had become, when he ended up having his genitals prodded. He says, “I don’t have any children and we’ve been trying for a while. It’s a lot of hassle because of the low sperm count with me… She has to take shots and stuff. It’s all my fault. She’s a saint, but she likes to see me suffer too. “So she made me go to this acupuncturist… They start up a little high and they go all the way to the tank, the whole area. “It was humiliating and painful and I think my wife appreciated it. It was just an uncomfortable situation.”

No way, no how would I EVER submit to something like this. I’d be like, “Honey, let’s just adopt. Maybe Angelina Jolie’s got some extra cambodian kids layin’ around that we could score.” I mean, this is just freakin stupid. Haven’t you ever heard of invitro fertilization? That’s where they take a sperm, fertilize an egg, and plant it in the mother. It’s easy! If you can make one sperm that’s not crosseyed, it’ll work. Why the hell would you have needles stuck in your sack you moron???

Man, I’m so sick of hearing about the pope. This morning all they’re talking about on the fox news channel is how he’s breathing on his own. That’s the big news of the day. I’m sitting here thinking like, “So what? So am I. Nobody’s talking about me on the news.” Hell, maybe they should talk about me on the news. I’m a lot cooler than the pope.

TRENTON, N.J. — State animal rights activists are sick to their stomachs over a new candy shaped like critters run over by cars, complete with tire treads. The fruity-flavored, partly flattened snakes, chickens and squirrels depicted in Trolli Road Kill Gummi Candy foster cruelty toward animals, according to the New Jersey Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. “It sends the wrong message to children, that it’s OK to harm animals. And that’s the wrong message, especially from a so-called wholesome corporation like Kraft,” said Matthew Stanton, spokesman for the organization. The society is considering efforts such as petition drives, boycotts and letter-writing campaigns to get the candy pulled from the market, Stanton said. Stuart Rhodes, the NJSPCA’s president, on Wednesday faxed a letter to Kraft to complain the candy has a negative influence on children. “There is nothing funny, intentional or accidental about an animal getting run over by a car,” Rhodes said in the letter. The state of New Jersey designates the NJSPCA the enforcer of its animal cruelty laws. Even though law enforcement takes up a large portion of the organization’s time, Rhodes still thought it important to stick up for the candy animals after learning about them. After receiving Rhodes’ letter, Kraft Foods Inc. pulled an animated advertisement from Trolli’s Web site that featured car headlights and animals. No other decisions on changes have been made, said Kraft spokesman Larry Baumann. “If you look across the Gummi category we certainly have many products that are offbeat, and that’s what we were doing in this case,” Baumann said. “We didn’t mean to offend anyone.” Officials at Wm. Wrigley Jr. Co., which is in the process of acquiring the Trolli brand as part of a $1.48 billion deal, did not respond to phone calls.

Honestly, I love animals, and I would put the beatdown on anyone who tries to harm an animal intentionally, but christ, these gummi’s are just a goof. People need to lighten up and learn to have a sense of humor. I long for the days of the 70′s when people actually did have a sense of humor. I don’t know why people have to be so freakin’ sensitive about everything. That’s like saying garbage pail kids trading cards and stuff are going to make people go out and throw babies in the garbage. Idiots.

MIAMI, United States (AFP) – A state prosecutor in Florida’s island city of Key West is under arrest after he allegedly ran naked and drunk across a parking lot and hopped into the wrong car. Albert Tasker of the local state prosecutor’s office told police he had been drinking with friends and thought it would be funny to take off his clothes and run to a friend’s car in the parking lot, according to the Florida Keys Citizen. But Tasker, 28, apparently got into the back seat of the wrong car, much to the distress of the woman in the vehicle. The legitimate occupant screamed and called her boyfriend who telephoned police. The prosecutor faces charges of disorderly intoxication and indecent exposure, and has been placed on administrative leave without pay, the daily said. “It’s terribly embarrassing for both him and for us,” his boss, Jefferson Overby said. Key West, the southernmost point in the continental United States, is famed for the often eccentric behavior of its residents, who once included US author Ernest Hemingway whose barroom brawls are legendary on the island.

Man, I thought it was funny that he did it, but when it got to the part about the fact that he jumped into a car that actually had some woman in it…that was hilarious. I can totally see her freakin’ out when he jumped in the car all drunk and nekkid. Oh well, I guess his career in the prosecutor’s office is over. Obviously they have no sense of humor…

A MAN branded dangerous by police is hacking down trees with a chainsaw and setting fire to the trunks just yards from a Dagenham school. Over a period of nine months, the man has completely grounded trees that stood up to 80ft high and devastated others that have been growing for the past 50 years. This week a resident contacted the POST in desperation, she said: “He’s hacked down full-grown trees and now he has started gutting the inside of trees and setting fires inside them. He has absolutely devastated the wildlife in the park.”

Wonder if he had a leather mask and a serious case of pillow hair too?

CHAPEL HILL — A woman attacked a convenience store clerk with a sausage Thursday morning after she was unable to use the store’s outdoor vacuum cleaner for her car. The 34-year-old clerk at Buy & Go, located at 106 Ephesus Church Road, reported that a woman came in the store and said she wanted to use the vacuum cleaner but a car was parked in the way, said Jane Cousins of the Chapel Hill Police Department. When the clerk told the woman that the car was disabled and could not be moved, she picked up a Big Mama Pickled Sausage from the counter and threw it at the clerk. The sausage hit the clerk in the face, Cousins said. The clerk retreated to the back room of the store, and the woman left, police reported.

What a puss. If I was the clerk I’d have jumped over the counter and stuffed the beeotch’s mouth with slim jims until she learned that throwing attitude over something that can’t be helped is not a good thing to do.