B-Movie Central Cheese Blog

HARRISBURG, Pa. — Police in Harrisburg, Pa., are looking for two women after things got nasty at a supermarket checkout counter. Police said one of the women put a supermarket employee in a headlock after the clerk refused to leave her register to get iced tea and lemonade for the customer. They said a shopper at a self-checkout lane demanded that the employee retrieve jugs of lemonade and iced tea for her. When the clerk said she couldn’t leave her post, the customer began arguing. Then, police say, a second woman entered the store and told her friend to hurry up. When the first woman explained the clerk wouldn’t help her, the second woman jabbed her finger into the clerk’s head, struck her in the shoulder and placed her in a headlock. Police say other customers broke the fight up and the clerk escaped injury. The two women ran out of the store but police say they expect to make arrests.

Now was that really necessary? I mean jeez, if you got the energy to beat on someone, then you sure as hell should have the energy to get your own damn lemonade and iced tea. Sheesh!

EDMOND – A reported home invasion Monday was a hoax orchestrated by a man who wanted to impress his wife, police spokeswoman Glynda Chu said. Police responded Monday night to the 800 block of Blue Ridge Drive, where a 27-year-old man and his 31-year-old wife reported two males in ski masks broke into the house, bound her hands with duct tape and put her in the bathroom. The man was not home at the time. The man told police he came home and scared the men away, hitting one of them with a 2-by-4 board. Chu said the invaders were a juvenile and an 18-year-old man, who had been told it was a practical joke by the woman’s husband. One told his parents what happened, and they notified police, Chu said. Chu said the homeowner told police it was a hoax when he was questioned Tuesday. He told police he was trying to convince his wife he was a hero, and had asked the two teenagers to stage the break-in, police said. Authorities said Tuesday no arrests have been made. They would not release the names of the people involved.

You know what would have been funny? If they had come in, beat the snot out of him, and actually robbed the place. That would have been a nice little life lesson for him.

Kiss front man Gene Simmons urges all men to resist the temptation to marry, and save themselves stacks of money at the same time. The womanizing music legend, who once dated rocker Cher, insists there are no benefits to married life – and divorce is far too costly. He says, “Women are a different species. They have a biological clock, they want to nest. A man produces thousands of sperm every day and a woman thinks it’s all for her, but it’s not.” “Always be honest with a woman. It’s not beneficial for a man to marry. The worst thing a man can do is get married because he has to give 50 per cent of his gross pre-tax dollars to a woman who has given him nothing, apart from companionship.” “That’s more than the taxes you pay to the government which gives you nuclear armed forces, military, police and infrastructure.”

Oh my god that’s funny. I’d love to be able to hang out with him. If I could hang out with any two people in the world, it would be Gene Simmons and Ron Jeremy. They’re both freakin’ hilarious and have great personalities.

A Charlotte, N.C. man was charged with disorderly conduct after his voice was heard echoing from the sidewalk Monday night during the Great Falls Town Council meeting. The man’s screams could be heard inside Council Chambers. Council had gone into executive session and was secluded in the conference room when the uproar erupted. Eight or nine pagans had exited the meeting and were waiting outside for council to return to open session when the man began screaming at the group. Just as the loud screams made their way inside, Darla Wynne charged through the door and asked for police to be called. “You are a demon out of the pits of hell,” Richard Pope told the group of pagans. Pope said he had been praying about the prayer litigation and asked God what to do. That’s when he decided to come to Great Falls, he said. “I came in the name of Jesus,” Pope said, “to let council know they are wrong in denying Jesus’ name in prayer.” Pope said he told Wynne God loved her and she didn’t need to keep denying Jesus. He also said he rebuked the demon-possessed people. “I don’t understand with freedom of speech how one woman can tell men on council they can’t say Jesus and a judge deny them their freedom of speech,” Pope said. “I talked to the mayor a couple of weeks ago and told him he needed to be bold like Daniel,” Pope added. Pope also told Mayor H.C. Starnes Jr. that he was doing his job after the mayor came outside to see what the upset was about. Pope said the pagans told him he was harassing them and they stuck a tape recorder in his face. “They’re gonna make a mountain out of this,” Pope said, “but that is the way it goes.” Donna Hudson of Lexington, a pagan in attendance, said Pope started preaching at the group and Wynne asked him to leave three times. The man, Hudson said, continued to follow the group and kept harassing them as they made their way to the park area. Hudson said she asked for police to be called when she was called a witch. Hudson said her black attire might have suggested she was a witch but she is not of the wiccan faith. Pope, according to Lt. Tony Tomashot, was charged with disorderly conduct. If found guilty he could be charged $257. Town ordinance states it is unlawful to make any unreasonable noise or any offensively coarse utterance, gesture or display or such noises as to disturb the quiet and peace of any citizen of the town.

You know what I don’t get about these religious fanatics? They go all berzerk when someone doesn’t believe in their god. Well if their god is all powerful, then why should they even care? They should just leave it in their god’s hands to deal with the heathens and be done with it. What I think is that they’re completely threatened by anyone who questions their faith, because that’s all they have to go on is faith and they know that’s a pretty damn thin thing to base their entire life on. Jerks.

GREAT FALLS, Mont. – A 108-year-old man has taken up smoking again, encouraged by gifts of cigars from as far away as London. Retired railroad worker Walter Breuning spoke at his birthday party Tuesday of how he reluctantly quit smoking cigars at the age of 99 because he couldn’t afford them. After his story was widely distributed, the Great Falls man heard from people like the English cigar fan who sent two Havanas. “They were $12 cigars and they were good,” Breuning said. “You can’t get good Havana cigars like that out here.” He also got a birthday note and a few more cigars from a former Great Falls resident now living in Oregon. “They were pretty good cigars, too,” Breuning said. Fred Aimi, of Lolo, was reading newspaper stories to a group of blind neighbors when he came across an account of Breuning’s birthday. “That hurt,” Aimi said. “I like a good cigar myself.” Aimi said he sent a box of two dozen cigars on Friday to Breuning. “At 108, they can’t do him much harm,” he said.

Now why the hell didn’t I think of that. All I have to do is stand up at my next birthday party and tell everyone how I had to give up spending money because I don’t have any anymore, and then everyone from around the world will send me money! It’s pure genius! I just feel like a moron for not thinking of it sooner.

Several Arrests, Bikes Siezed, Police Tactics “Backfire” “Hundreds of cyclists returned to the streets of Manhattan tonight in the monthly celebration of bicycles known as Critical Mass … Organizers estimated the turnout at nearly 1,000 bicyclists, and as they poured onto Fifth Avenue from the north end of Union Square, the celebratory spirit that is a hallmark of the event was only slightly dampened by the rows of police on scooters that seemed to be everywhere.” “Critical Mass riders tonight refused to be herded by roving scooter-cop pens. Hundreds of riders spontaneously broke away from the NYPD approved designated parade route(?!) at Park Ave. and 53rd St. and reaffirmed the spirit of Critical Mass rides; no designated leaders, no set route … Throughout the ride there was tremendous support from onlookers and alot more awareness of who we were. The Mayor’s plan to stifle free speech seems to have backfired. More people than ever now know about Critical Mass and support the cyclists.” “Hundreds of cyclists returned to the streets of Manhattan tonight in the monthly celebration of bicycles known as Critical Mass … Organizers estimated the turnout at nearly 1,000 bicyclists, and as they poured onto Fifth Avenue from the north end of Union Square, the celebratory spirit that is a hallmark of the event was only slightly dampened by the rows of police on scooters that seemed to be everywhere.” “Critical Mass riders tonight refused to be herded by roving scooter-cop pens. Hundreds of riders spontaneously broke away from the NYPD approved designated parade route(?!) at Park Ave. and 53rd St. and reaffirmed the spirit of Critical Mass rides; no designated leaders, no set route … Throughout the ride there was tremendous support from onlookers and alot more awareness of who we were. The Mayor’s plan to stifle free speech seems to have backfired. More people than ever now know about Critical Mass and support the cyclists.”

Leave it to New Yorkers to support a group of people clogging the streets and basically being asshats. Jerks.

GENEVA, N.Y. If you’re driving through Geneva this weekend, watch out for the guy in the bunny suit. Matthew Lyttle is going to spend several hours in a rabbit outfit walking back and forth at a marked street crossing to draw attention to a state law requiring motorists to stop for pedestrians at crosswalks. Lyttle, a junior at Hobart College in Geneva, tells the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle he came up with the idea while waiting for someone to stop so he could walk cross a busy street. The assignment for the religious studies class was to develop a project that could make people more socially aware of caring for one another. He’ll be walking back and forth on at a crosswalk on heavily traveled Route 14 this weekend, passing out flyers to motorists to inform them about the pedestrian law.

When it said he was doing it for a religious studies project, that pretty much cleared up the fact that he’s a moron. Seems like the biggest morons I ever hear about are either really religious or ultra liberal. They’re always doing something stupid like this. When I first read the part about the bunny suit I figured it was another PETA protest. In any case, it’s stupid and it’s a good way to get yourself run over. I have a feeling that most New Yorkers would speed up if they saw a guy in a bunny outfit in the crosswalk.

DUBLIN, Ireland — Sinead O’Connor has taken out a full-page ad to proclaim her sanity. The former pop star claims in the Irish Examiner newspaper ad that she’s “consistently ridiculed” and “called mad.” She asks “not be bashed and called crazy and laughed at” when she sings or speaks. The 2,000 essay also asks “If ye all think I am such a crazy person why do ye use me to sell your papers?” During her career, O’Connor specialized in attention-seeking stunts. In 1992, she ripped up a picture of Pope John Paul on “Saturday Night Live.” She also refused to allow the National Anthem to be played at her concerts in the U.S.

Hell, I never thought she was crazy. Stupid yes, but not crazy. So I guess by officially calling her a moron here I’m really just doing what she asked.

A Staten Island man got so angry yesterday when he was asked to leave a video store that he decided to go

COLUMBUS, Ohio — A local soldier back from the war in Iraq said he was beaten at an area concert because of what was printed on his T-shirt, NBC 4′s Nancy Burton reported. Foster Barton, 19, of Grove City, received a Purple Heart for his military service in Iraq. He almost lost his leg last month after a Humvee he was riding in ran over a landmine. Barton said he was injured again Friday night in a crowded parking lot as he was leaving the Toby Keith concert at Germain Amphitheatre. The solider was injured so badly that he can’t go back to Iraq as scheduled. “I don’t remember getting hit at all, really,” said Barton, a member of the 1st Calvary Division. “He hit me in the back of the head. I fell and hit the ground. I was knocked unconscious and he continued to punch and kick me on the ground.” Barton and his family said he was beat up because he was wearing an Iraqi freedom T-shirt. “It’s not our fault,” Barton said. “I’m just doing a job.” According to a Columbus police report, six witnesses who didn’t know Barton said the person who beat him up was screaming profanities and making crude remarks about U.S. soldiers, Burton reported. One witness, a friend of the alleged attacker, said Barton hit first. Police said they do not think that witness is credible since the six other witnesses said Barton was hit from behind. Barton’s mother said she has a message for her son’s alleged attacker, who police said ran into the crowd after the incident and was not arrested. “He needs our prayers, just like the insurgents, because he’s a coward,” Cindy Barton said. After a two-week leave, Barton was supposed to return to Iraq Tuesday. But his broken nose will delay his return. Barton is waiting for doctors to tell him when he can return to active duty. He said wants to go back as soon as possible because his unit was just attacked. Eleven soldiers were wounded and two were killed, he said.

This kind of stuff really pisses me off to no end. These “peacenick liberals” are so completely and utterly hypocritical. They all get my moron of the day award along with the soldier’s mother who said that the attacker “…needs our prayers because he’s a coward.” He doesn’t need our prayers you freakin’ moron, he needs a good ass kicking, and then he needs to go to jail and get a good ass pounding as well.