B-Movie Central Cheese Blog

A Walker County man was charged with manufacturing methamphetamine after his pants exploded while he was talking to social services workers outside his home. Daniel Gabriel Doyle, 39, met the social workers at his front door Tuesday, walked to their car and sat down to fill out some forms, said Patrick Stanfield, commander of the Lookout Mountain Judicial Circuit Drug Task Force. “Finally, while he was sitting in the back seat, the front of his pants exploded,” Stanfield said Friday. He said Doyle apparently had mixed red phosphorous and iodine in a film canister and stuck it in his pocket. The chemical reaction caused second- and third-degree burns to Doyle’s testicles and leg, Sheriff’s Maj. Hill Morrison said. He was treated at Erlanger Medical Center in Chattanooga, Tenn., before being jailed.

Maybe when I stop laughing, I’ll be able to think of something funny to say about this.

Investigators have a pretty good idea who tried to steal gasoline from a San Joaquin Valley farmer. The hapless thief was caught on tape. The suspect is 22-year-old Robert Flowers. According to the San Joaquin Couty Sheriff’s Department, he was caught on a surveillance tape stealing gasoline from a farmer’s tank in Escalon. On the tape, he can be seen becoming increasingly frustrated at his inability to open the lock on the tank. To get at the supply of fuel, he used a cutting torch to burn his way into the tank. Although he managed to avoid blowing himself up, he and his license plate were caught on tape. Law enforcement officials say the tape made it easy for investigators. “I think he’s just plain stupid,” said San Joaquin County Sheriff Baxter Dunn. “We’ve talked to him on the phone. After ID’ing him, we told him to come in. We saw him yesterday, but he got away.” When Flowers is eventually located, he will face charges of vandalism, trespassing and theft. He is also wanted in Stanislaus County for a probation violation and has told officials there that he intends to surrender.

Well first of all the obvious bit is that the guy was a moron for using a blow torch on a freakin’ gas pump. Now that’s just stupid. But then for the cops to actually call the guy on the phone to tell him to come in, and then actually expect him to do it was just stupid in the extreme. What that tells me is that the cops were too lazy to just go get him, and now he’s on the run somewhere.

Everyone has their little pet peeves. I personally have a few that really irritate the hell out of me. Here’s a short list of some of mine. Some are amusing, others are more serious…

1. Those “Truth” commercials about smoking. Those commercials are so snotty and condescending it makes me want to smoke just to spite them. Those idiots should learn that being jerky doesn’t win people over to your side.

2. People who use the word “then” instead of “than”. Like, “I’d rather go to a baseball game then to a basketball game.” Didn’t you people ever take an English class? English is a cool language. You should try to learn it sometime.

3. People who block isles in the store while they stand there talking to someone even though they know you’re waiting to get by. I think it should be legal to run people over with your damn cart when they do that.

4. Political pundits who defend their candidate’s wrong doings by saying that the other side does the same stuff. Look you idiots, if something is wrong, then it’s wrong. Just because someone else does it doesn’t make it right for your guy to do it, so shut the hell up, have some integrity and accept the blame when it’s well deserved. I really believe that integrity and politcs are mutually exclusive. When you have people who’s only concern is getting elected, they’ll do or say anything they have to in order to get another term in office. That’s just wrong.

5. People who take away the rights of adult individuals under the pretext that we have to, “protect the children.” People like this really irritate the hell out of me. Don’t take away my rights to view or hear what I want just to protect your snot nosed little brats from it. How about taking some responsibility as a parent and keeping your kid away from it yourself instead of trying to make viewing decisions for everyone in the country? I don’t need anyone else, especially idiots like this, telling me what I can and can’t see or hear.

6. People who are hypocrites. Like at my last job. I got fired for doing stuff that everyone did. Someone just had it in for me and got me fired. The big boss was an alcoholic who was drunk more often at work than she was sober, and often she’d get so drunk at lunchtime that she wouldn’t even come back to work. My direct boss used to spend about 80% of his time playing solitaire, yet me playing games when there was nothing else to do was cited as one of the reasons I was let go. Everyone in the office played games at one time or another when there was nothing to do. If you’re going to do something that affects someone else’s life in such a major way, then you should make sure you’re without sin before you start throwing stones at people. I know I was good at my job, and so do they, and so did everyone else I helped there. I was well liked by the users and got along with everyone quite well. It’s just too bad the monkeys were running the zoo and the zookeeper got fired because of it.

7. People who get offended easily and actually walk around looking for things to be offended by. Look you idiots, the constitution guarantees the right of free speech. Nowhere in there does it say that you people have the right to never be offended by anything. Grow the hell up and face the world as it is instead of constantly trying to bitch people into changing their own human nature to suit your own little personal idea of utopia where everyone’s happy like they are in Teletubby land.

8. Watching the same commercials 37 times a day on the sci-fi channel. I swear they advertise their shows constantly and watching the same commercials over and over again gets really annoying. If you guys are going to advertise the same show over and over, at least come up with a few variations of the commercial with different scenes.

9. Hollywood celebs who think we actually give two snots about what their political opinions are. Well, we don’t, so just shut up and act, or sing, or make crappy movies or whatever the hell else it is you’re supposed to be doing.

10. People who refuse to see the truth in things. There’s people out there bitching about how we invaded Iraq and what not because people got killed. Well let me ask those of you who feel that way this: There’s been a relatively small number of people killed in this conflict compared to the hundred plus thousand that Saddam had killed and buried in mass graves. He and his sons had people tortured, killed, mutilated, and raped. Now isn’t it funny how the people bitching about the war are usually the same people bitching about human rights abuses around the world? Doesn’t that seem a little hypocritical? We go in and free a people who were being slaughtered and tortured by their leaders, and all these protesters can do is bitch about it. So I guess what they’re really saying is that they whole heartedly support rape, torture, and mass murder. It’s nice to know where they really stand.

These are just some of my pet peeves. We all have them, and some are more irritating than others, but when it comes right down to it, they’re ALL irritating. I don’t know why I made this post, I guess I just wanted to bitch a little.

Prague – Czech labour inspectors convinced a retail chain to drop a plan that would have required women cashiers to wear red headbands when menstruating, a newspaper said on Thursday. “We talked the firm out of it,” government inspector Michal Ronin told the daily Mlada fronta Dnes. “They admitted it was stupid.” Officials with the unidentified retailer had reasoned that headbands were needed to identify women who need to use the restroom often because of their period, Ronin said. The plan was never implemented, and several retail chains interviewed by the newspaper said they would never even consider such a rule for their cashiers. The paper cited the plan as an example of alleged rampant harassment of workers in the Czech Republic.

Actually, your first reaction would be, “How stupid!”, but I’ve been thinking about it and I actually think it’s a good idea. I mean, think about it. If you got 13 items and you’re wondering if you can get through the 12 items or less line and you see the cashier wearing a menstruation headband, you KNOW you ain’t gettin’ away with nothin’ so you can skip to another line where the cashier is less likely to have a fit…or to demand chocolate from you.

Have a look at this… When you get to the yummy blonde click on her picture. She’s way hot.

http://www.porkdisco.com/so.html

Some people just never learn. Hubert Benjamin Lawrence III of Shreveport might be one of those people. Tuesday afternoon, the 45-year-old walked into state police Troop G headquarters in Bossier City to complain about how Shreveport police treated him last week. Instead, he ended up behind bars. Again. “He said Thursday he went to SPD to complain about his car being stolen and they arrested him for DWI,” Troop G spokesman Doug Pierrelee said. Five days later, he “just visited the wrong sergeant,” Pierrelee said. The desk sergeant on duty when Lawrence visited state police Tuesday happened to be a drug recognition expert. While the trooper couldn’t smell any alcohol, it only took a few questions for Lawrence to realize he once again voluntarily had walked up to the officer who was about to arrest him. “(The sergeant) recognized some of the signs and they took blood from him and put him in jail for operating a motor vehicle under the influence of marijuana,” Pierrelee said. Lawrence was booked into the Bossier Parish Jail. When the trooper asked Lawrence why he smoked marijuana before coming to the troop, Lawrence allegedly said he “just wanted to calm his nerves before talking to police,” Pierrelee said. “It’s unbelievable how conditioned people get to their habits that they think we won’t notice.”

Between booze and pot this guy sounds like he’s got about 2 brain cells left, and one of them is on life support. How friggin stupid would you have to be to walk into a police station after smoking pot? I mean, I’ve been around pot smokers, and they just reek of the stuff. You can smell it on ‘em a mile away. So for being so stupid, this guy’s the moron of the day. Hey, that rhymes!

Essen – In a rage against her husband, a woman took a hammer to the car parked outside his flat – only to learn that it belonged to a neighbour, German police said on Tuesday. It was only after the 43-year-old woman had smashed windows, lights and a side mirror that she learned of her mistake. She now faces charges of disturbing the peace and malicious destruction of private property.

Yeah, if you’re gonna do something like this, it’s probably a good idea to make sure you at least got the right person’s car. Then again, it was her husband’s car, which makes it her car as well, so you’d think she’d know her own car. Then again again, beating the snot out of your own car is just stupid anyway.

TORONTO (Reuters) – Dogs chomping on mail carrier-shaped treats is no laughing matter for Canada Post. The unamused Canadian postal service — whose carriers endure more than their share of real dog bites — convinced Pet Valu Inc. stores to stop carrying Bark Bars, dog biscuits that come shaped like cats and letter carriers. “This is not in any way, shape, or form funny for us, and to make light of that … I don’t see that as funny at all, not even in the least,” said John Caines, Canada Post’s national media relations manager. The pet store chain, which has 292 outlets in Canada, agreed to withdraw the treats after it received a letter from Canada Post saying that employees were concerned about the risks mail carriers face from dogs and unhappy with having dog biscuits shaped in their likeness. Earlier this summer, a letter carrier from Chatham in southwestern Ontario broke both her wrists and had part of her ear ripped off when she was attacked by two pitbull-like dogs. Caines said that in the first six months of 2004 there were 160 dog attacks on mail carriers across Canada.

You know, when I hear about stuff like this it just makes me want to beat the ever living snot out of people. Why the hell are people so hung up on symbolism? So what if they’re shaped like postal workers? It’s not like the dog is going to look at the real thing and say to himself, “YAY! TREATS!” With all the crap going on in the world today, I wish people would forget about unimportant crap like this and focus their attention on more important things. Seems like 90% of the world is walking around looking for crap to be offended by so they can bitch about something. People like this just suck.

TUCSON, Ariz. The Border Patrol says an illegal immigrant tried to bring down one of its helicopters Thursday night. The man tossed five softball-sized rocks at the rotor as the aircraft pursued him. A Border Patrol spokesman says incredibly, all five rocks missed the spinning rotors and the helicopter remained aloft. The man is a 32-year-old Mexican national whom the agency has not identified. He’s currently in federal custody. He’ll be arraigned Monday and charged with several counts, including felony alien smuggling.

What’s he gonna do next? Flick boogers at a tank? Idiot.

LOS ANGELES – Silly string’s days may be numbered in Los Angeles. The City Council is set to consider an ordinance Friday that would ban the substance from use in public places. One councilman says banning silly string is needed to clean up the streets of Hollywood and other areas where it is often used during Halloween and New Year’s parties. He says the aerosol-powered spray string can clog sewers. Many others say the council is wasting time by discussing such a seemingly trivial issue. The ingredients of silly string are kept secret by manufacturers, but some kinds contain a small amount of alcohol and plasticizers.

You know, I grew up in California and lived there for 29 years of my life. In that time I saw it turn from a wonderful place to live into a totalitarian state where no one has any rights and where no one has any money because it’s so damned expensive to live there because of all the fees and taxes. California by far has the least amount of freedom of any state in this nation, it’s financially screwed, and it’s a perfect example of what happens when liberals (mostly democrats) have pretty much full control over a state and its policies. They run it into the ground and take away every freedom they can get away with while giving benefits to those who don’t deserve or haven’t earned them and then raise taxes and fees through the roof to pay for all their pork spending and vote buying. To be honest, it’s worse than a communist country in California anymore, and that’s extremely sad because it really did used to be a beautiful place to live.