B-Movie Central Cheese Blog

Yes it’s that time again. Time for a bunch of overpaid idiots who are totally disconnected from reality to get together in fancy clothes and pat themselves on the back, congratulating themselves on how great they all think they are. Now I will say, there’s the occassional exception to this. This year’s exception is Peter Jackson and The Return of the King. Sometimes, and it’s rare, there’s a movie that comes along that’s so special and so totally unlike anything before it, that it deserves some special recognition. So saying that, I’d like to congratulate Peter Jackson on a job well done and give him a pat on the back. He’s come a long way from his Bad Taste and Dead Alive days. As for all the rest of that crap out there currently, well I think they’re all really good too. Good for me to poop on! So why don’t all the rest of you self-important disconnected idiots try spending a little time in the real world experiencing some real world problems instead of mouthing off about the issue of the day that you have no clue about because you’re so totally out of touch with reality. I wish I had a giant hand so I could just run up and down the red carpet bitch slapping these people ten at a time. Thank god I live in a country where I don’t have to watch that crap because I have 150+ other channels I can flip to.

“The Passion of the Christ” and the devil have been inextricably joined in this rural town in northwest Georgia. “The Passion” is showing at the Movies at Berry Square at Mount Berry Square Mall, and the machine that prints the tickets assigned the number 666, the biblical mark of the beast, as a prefix to all the tickets for the film. The fact that triple-six and “The Passion” have been joined is purely luck of the draw, says Gary Smith, who owns the theater complex. “It’s from our computer and it’s absolutely a coincidence,” Smith said. “It has nothing to do with the film company or any vendor. It’s completely in our computer. Several people have commented on it, but only one made a stink about it.” That person asked for her tickets to be substituted and was given passes in exchange. She declined to talk about it with a reporter, but a family spokesperson said they had found Scriptures that eased their mind on the 666 reference. “I’ve got a feeling that the person who wanted us to exchange the ticket thought the devil had something to do with it,” Smith said. “They didn’t want it in their possession. “She just said that she had this superstition about the 666 number,” said Smith. “She said she just felt uncomfortable having those tickets in her possession.” Erica Diaz, who worked the ticket window Saturday, said she had heard quite a few comments about the numbering.

I just got one word to say about this. MORONS. ‘Nuff said.

A late-night grub run turned stomach-churning for a Cape Cod woman who said she found a bloody bandage in the bottom of her box of french fries. “I picked up a clump of fries and something falls in my lap. I looked down and picked it up and I was like, “Oh my god.” It was a dirty, bloody Band-Aid in my fries,” Heather O’Neill said.The flap began about 1 a.m. Wednesday at the McDonald’s restaurant at the Sagamore rotary. O’Neill, a waitress, had been out celebrating Mardi Gras with some girlfriends and was on her way home when she hit the drive-thru for a late-night snack. She ordered a No. 1 combo – a Big Mac, Coke and fries – paid and started driving home. She ate a few fries on the short ride to her house on Sagamore Beach and continued eating when she got inside. Her mother and fiance shared some of the fries. She made the sickening discovery as she was nearly done with the fries. O’Neill, 26, went back to the restaurant and lodged a complaint and has spoken with a manager who said she was being sent coupons.

What’s worse than finding a bloody, scabby band aid in your french fries? Finding a bloody, scabby band aid in the bottom of your fry box after you’ve already eaten most of the fries. And the punchline: When she took them back to the counter and complained that she had a band aid in her fries, the schmuck behind the counter said, “Shhhhhh, not so loud, or everybody will want one.”

Heidi, our newest Rogue, has walking pneumona. I’d like to send out my best wishes to her and hopes for a speedy recovery.

I will be updating the blog tonight most likely, but not until after our IRC movie gathering. If I don’t get to it tonight, then I’ll do a big update tomorrow.

The co-owner of a downtown Salt Lake City strip club is taking on the LDS Church. Daniel Darger filed a counter lawsuit Thursday against The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which on Wednesday added the club to its suit against Salt Lake City for issuing a sexually oriented business (SOB) license to Darger. Church attorneys called the club a “nuisance” that is preventing the church from enjoying its neighboring property, including ZCMI Center and Crossroads Plaza, which it plans to redevelop. The church attorneys ask 3rd District Court Judge Denise Lindberg to award an unspecified amount of damages and for an injunction to prevent the club from operating as an SOB. In turn, Darger is asking for damages for harm done to his business, both by the church and Salt Lake City, also named in his suit. He also wants an injunction to stop them from interfering with the operation of his business.

I’m sick seeing these stories about religious idiots forcing their will on everyone around them. When will these people ever learn to live and let live? We all have our own individual lives to lead. My life is not a group effort and I certainly don’t need any help from anyone who feel’s like it’s their god given responsibility to “guide” me down the right path. I follow my own path, and I’m perfectly happy doing it alone.

One man was wounded early today when a food fight turned into a gunfight in northwest Harris County. An argument started between two groups of men about 1 a.m. outside a night club in the 3400 block of FM 1960 West, said Harris County Sheriff’s Department deputies. When a man in one group threw a taco at a man in the other group, the taco target and some of his friends produced handguns and fired about a half-dozen shots at the opposing group. One man was hit in the leg by a shot and taken to an area hospital. Officials said the wound was not life-threatening. The armed group of men fled after the shooting, and police are looking for them.

I’ve heard of bringing a knife to a gunfight, but this was just plain stupid. Aside from that, I’m sure the guy throwing the taco deserved a good beating, but shooting the jackass was going a bit too far. Ever notice how people keep getting stupider and stupider?

Fifty-six-year-old Peggy Law, collapsed during the first public showing at the Warren Theater in east Wichita. She suffered a heart attack during a climactic scene in the film, KMBC reported. “It was during the time that they were crucifying Christ, and putting the nails in his hands and feet,” one witness said. Off-duty medical personnel at the theater tried to revive Law, but when she was taken away by an ambulance, she had no pulse. She ws pronounced dead at a nearby hospital. A Kansas woman died Wednesday after watching Mel Gibson’s new film, “The Passion Of The Christ.”

I can’t believe how brainwashed some people are. Anyone who’s so brainwashed by religion that they have a heart attack over a freakin’ movie deserves what they get.

A Paterson man faces child endangerment charges after allegedly showing up at a Roman Catholic school clad in a diaper and pink stretch pants. Police said he showed up at Holy Spirit School at dismissal on Feb. 13 seeking a job application. When his request was denied, he defecated in the diaper and fled on foot, police said. Lincoln Park police arrested him a short time later near a supermarket.

You know, I’ve been accused of having a poo fetish just because I think toilet humor is funny. But I KNOW I can’t be the only one that finds this absolutely hilarious.

Shock jock Howard Stern’s show was yanked Wednesday from Clear Channel Communications Inc. radio stations after an incident on his show Tuesday, the first casualty of its zero tolerance policy on indecency. “It was vulgar, offensive and insulting, not just to women and African Americans but to anyone with a sense of common decency,” Clear Channel Radio Chief Executive John Hogan said in a statement. “We will not air Howard Stern on Clear Channel stations until we are assured that his show will conform to acceptable standards of responsible broadcasting,” he said.

Gee, I wonder if they’ll return all the advertising money they’ve made off of his vulgarity for the last god knows how many years since they’re so offended by his show. I despise hypocritical moralists who feel the need to pull this kind of crap. Howard Stern has every right to run his show the way he wants, and to remove it for this reason after making money on the exact same show for so long, is just wrong. You know, Saudi Arabia has morality police. They do stuff like beating beating women for running out of a burning building in their night clothes and sending them back in to die just because they weren’t dressed modestly when they came out. Is that what you really want this country to turn into? The only measure of a show should be it’s audience. If people didn’t like Howard’s show they wouldn’t listen to it. If enough people don’t listen, THEN cancel it. Cancelling it for these BS reasons is just BS.

Bruce Lee stars in his signature film Enter the Dragon as an intelligence agency recruit who goes undercover as a Karate tournament contestant to infiltrate a drug trafficking ring. Disc one will contain an audio commentary by producer Paul Heller, the documentaries Blood and Steel: The Making of Enter the Dragon, Bruce Lee: In His Own Words and Lair of the Dragon plus a Linda Lee Cadwell interview gallery Disc two contains the featurettes Bruce Lee: A Warrior’s Journey and Curse of the Dragon plus theatrical trailers and television spots.

Around the World in 80 Days makes its long awaited DVD debut, with the complete and uncut 182 minute widescreen version. Adapted from the Jules Verne novel about a Victorian Englishman who bets that with the new steamships and railways he can actually travel “around the world in 80 days. Disc one contains introductions by Turner Classic Movies host and film historian Robert Osborne a commentary by Brian Sibley of BBC Radio, Georges Melies’ A Trip to the Moon, outtakes, a stills gallery, trailers and DVD-ROM content. Disc two also contains introductions by Robert Osborne, the documentary Around the World of Mike Todd and the Playhouse 90 special. Academy Awards Highlights and newsreels of the premiere.

I’ll pick up the around the world one. I don’t know about the Bruce Lee one. I like Bruce Lee movies, but I’m more into the goofy, cheeseball kung fu movies. Anyway, these are both slated to be out in time for father’s day.