NO! NO I DON’T HAVE ANY FREAKIN’ MUSTARD!!!

July 23rd, 2008   No Comments »

A Sandy man took offense to a motorist, who, after getting him to roll down his window, asked, “Excuse me, sir, do you have any Grey Poupon?”

After hearing the request for Dijon mustard, the 22-year-old driver pulled a black handgun from his glove compartment, cocked the weapon and pointed it at the three people in the other car.

“Here’s your Grey Poupon, roll your [expletive] windows up,” he responded.

The confrontation happened June 18 at the intersection of 900 East and Winchester Street (6500 South) in Murray, court documents state.

One of the three people in the car wrote down the SUV’s license plate number.

Murray police later located the man, who admitted to an officer that he pulled out the gun, racked the slide and threaten the other car.

He was charged Tuesday with aggravated assault, a third-degree felony.

*   *   *

Holy crap that’s funny.  Personally I think the three people in the other car should have gotten away scott free on this though.  They were after all the idiots who instigated it.  That’s the problem with our world.  People can run around being idiots and jerks to whoever they want and get away with it since no one’s ever able to fight back against it without getting in trouble.  We should all be allowed like five legal ass beatings a month or something.  If someone’s being an ass, you’re allowed to beat them, and when the cops show up you just tell them they were being an ass, they tick one off your count in their little book and then go on their merry way.  I bet there’d be a whole lot less people out there being asses. ;)

This story was out of Utah too.  I guess it took place in a town called Sandy.  If you read the first line though, it’s like, “A Sandy man…”  Now, is that the town, or a descriptive term, because this guy definitely sounds like he’s got a sandy vagina. :D

Anyway, I’m gonna go take a shower now and wash the sand out of my own vagina…er…mangina…or whatever. XD

  (Current Mood: tiredtired)

It’s ok, I’m a nudist… XD

July 18th, 2008   No Comments »

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!  This is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while now!!!

I couldn’t have written something this funny.  The topic line of this post is an actual part of the quote from the guy too. XD

The best part is…there’s a pic with the article that just absolutely explains everything. :D

Go read it now.  NOW I tell you! XD

  (Current Mood: amusedamused)

My new toy, and some other stuff…

July 16th, 2008   No Comments »

Yes, every once in a great while I get a new toy for myself.  For every hundred or so small things Sharon gets for herself, I get one big thing.  This time, that one big thing was a rather expensive piece of new music gear.  It’s a Digitech GSP1101.

Since..christ, maybe 1989 I’ve been using a Digitech GSP2101, which was and still is just an awesome guitar multi-fx processor and pre-amp.  I used it for both guitar and bass, and have been completely satisfied with its performance over the years.  So much so, I’ve actually collected myself three of them just in case one ever decides to crap out on me.

For years, Digitech has crapped out on supporting that unit, despite its legions of loyal fans, and has instead been focusing a lot on floor pedals and such.  Well now with the GSP1101, they’ve finally come out with a new rack mounted effects processor.  So how is it?

Well to put it simply…it’s freakin’ awesome!

I’m not going to get into all the technicalities of it, but its capabilities are just simply amazing, and the sound quality is nothing less than beautiful.  I actually had planned on using my 2101 for bass and using the 1101 strictly for guitar, but I made a bass patch on it tonight, and inside of five minutes I had a gorgeous sounding bass patch going.  It still needs some EQ tweaking on that one, but it was really quick and easy to put a good sounding patch together for it.

The unit also has firmware updates now and then that expand its abilities and add new ones, plus it has a software editor and a usb port so you can plug it right into your computer to edit the patches if you want.  Doing it that way is way cool, but it also means taking the unit out of my rack and bringing it in here since I don’t have a laptop, which is a pain.  The software editor is excellently written and makes working with the patches a breeze.  If however you choose to edit your patches from the front panel, that’s also extremely easy.  In a VERY short period of time you’ll be an expert at maneuvering around the extremely well laid out and simple to use menu system.

I didn’t really mean for this to sound like a review, because it’s not.  I’m just saying, this thing is awesome and I’m extremely happy with it so far.  It’s also been taking up a lot of my time, along with a few other things lately, which is why I haven’t posted much.  One of those other things being the playing of music, which I’ve been enjoying very much.  I’ve been playing guitar almost exclusively lately.  I’ve been trying to get better at it and I can see a noticeable improvement in my playing, so I’m just going to keep plugging away at it with my new processor egging me on.

I had something else going on this week that hasn’t been so awesome… - jury duty. :P

Man I hate this crap.  I am SO against the jury system.  Your average schmuck has no clue about the science and technology behind evidence gathering and processing, much less any real knowledge of the law.  I guess back when they came up with the jury thing and the cases were simple, as were the people, it worked ok.  Science and a massively bloated legal code have made juries obsolete though, and it’s about time we did a way with that archaic system once and for all and replaced it with a panel of judges hearing the cases instead, since the judges know enough about everything involved in legal matters to make rational and reasonable decisions.

Anyway, my number came up today but the case settled, so I didn’t have to go.  They told me to call the next couple of days though.  I called tonight, but they moved on to the next set of numbers, so I think I’m off the hook this time around!  Woohoo!!

I would write more, but I’ve barely had any sleep lately and I’m not all that focused at the moment.  I’ll post something again soon.

  (Current Mood: excitedexcited)

We’ve all been lied to, and an update on my diet thing…

July 2nd, 2008   No Comments »

So I’m sitting here drinking my V8 spicy “vegetable” juice.  The bottle says it’s 100% pure vegetable juice, and yet it’s tomato based.  A tomato is a fruit, not a vegetable, so claiming to be 100% pure vegetable juice is a flat out lie and totally misleading the consumer!  Now I’m not calling for a boycott of V8 juice or anything, because, well, I drink a lot of it lately and the spicy one at least is quite good.  But still…

Oddly enough when I was confirming that a tomato was actually a fruit and that it wasn’t just a case of beurocratic semantics, I also discovered that bean pods and even some nuts are also considered fruits.

Anyway, about my diet…

I’m not fasting anymore.  Now I’m eating an apple in the morning, for a reason I’ll get to in a minute, and then a dinner usually consisting of one chicken breast, and any one or combination of carrots, hummus, asparagus, lemon pepper string beans or salad.  Then sometimes I’ll have sugar free chocolate pudding for dessert, which is extremely good by the way.  You’d never know it was sugar free.  Aspartame rules! :D  Conversely, Splenda sucks.  I refuse to put anything in my mouth that has Splenda in it because it’s got such a nasty after taste.

Anyway, I’ve been weightlifting again and doing tons of sit ups.  I have a six pack under there, but I still have a bit of extra weight I’m trying to get rid of so it’s making it hard to see.  I’m starting to see the shadows of the outline of it though, which is encouraging.

My shoulder is still store from something ridiculous that happened to me a couple of weeks ago that I won’t get into here, but it’s finally getting better to the point where I can work out ok.

As for the apple in the morning, I’m taking these green tea pills now that are supposed to boost your metabolism.  So far I can feel a bit of a difference in energy level, and they’re supposed to increase fat burning by 40% or something like that.  So we’ll see how much they help.  The reason I have the apple is because you’re supposed to take them with food, and that’s about the healthiest thing I can think to take them with in the morning.  So this morning I had an apple and some V8 spicy.  Normally I have iced coffee, but I’m running low and I want to save it for later in the day.

Oh, and an update on the food thing.  In a post I made a while back, I said that the cravings for food stop after a few days of fasting.  Well even now that I’m eating, they haven’t come back.  I don’t crave unhealthy foods anymore, nor do I crave anything with sugar, like donuts and such.  I can go and buy Sharon a couple of donuts at the store and not have any craving at all to get some for myself as well.  Now that’s a total mindset change.

I’ve been staying away from breads too, and the longer you don’t eat bread, the easier that gets as well.  I think of all the things I’ve given up, I miss bread the most.  I love good bread.  Not that I don’t still have it on rare occasions, but generally I avoid it whenever possible just to stay away from the carbs.  My whole life has been a battle with weight.  Right now I’m pretty happy with myself and I feel healthier than I have in years.  I’m going to keep it going and for once try to stay this way and not ruin all I’ve accomplished.

Anyway, that’s it for now.  I’m gonna shuffle off for a bit and play bass with some Def Leppard songs.  I just learned the basslines for “Goodbye”, “Two Steps Behind” and also finally learned the solo section to “Promises” so I can play the whole song now.  Not that it was really difficult, I was just lazy. :D  I’ll probably play “Animal” as well.  I need to re-learn “Hysteria” because I haven’t played it in a while and I forgot most of it.  I hate when that happens. :)

The July issue of Rogue Cinema is up!

July 1st, 2008   No Comments »

Hey folks, :)

Summer’s finally arrived and it sucks.  God it’s hot out there.  Now would be a good time to stay inside with the air conditioning cranked and check out the latest issue of Rogue Cinema.

Here’s what we have for you this time around…

Contest:

Wicked Pixel has provided us with a great prize package to give away to one of our lucky readers.  So check out the contest page and send in your entry today.  You could be the lucky winner!

Interviews:

Jason Christ from Wicked Pixel
Matthew Saliba
Anna Bridgforth
Shannon McDonough
Mark Poole from Anubis Digital (Will be posted July 6th per request)

This Month’s Sleepover Girl:

Actress and yoga instructor Tucky Williams is this month’s Sleepover Girl!

Articles:

Danny Runion looks back at some of the forgotten movies of the 80’s that we should never ever forget,

Movie Reviews:

$100 and a T Shirt
American Slapstick Vol. 2
The Three Stooges Collection Vol. 2
Botched
Chainsaw Sally
Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins
The Rage
No Burgers for Bigfoot
Buddy Flavinoid and The Attack of the Slime People
Evil Awakening
Maniac on the Loose
One Minutes
Poison Sweethearts
Quench
ReGOREgetated Sacrifice
Rise of the Scarecrows
The Next Best Place: Short Films By Bill Brown
X-Ray Visions: A Look Inside Portland’s Legendary X-Ray Cafe
Sex Galaxy

Note: I think one more review is still coming.  I’ll post it as soon as it’s received.

So head on over to Rogue Cinema (http://www.roguecinema.com) and check out all the goodness in this month’s issue.

Hope you all enjoy it!

  (Current Mood: tiredtired)

Someone tell me why, and some other stuff…

June 29th, 2008   No Comments »

Someone tell me why the hell it is that every freakin’ schmoe that is lucky enough to see a bigfoot or a UFO or the god damned Loch Ness monster all have the crappiest cameras ever produced by man?

I mean seriously now, awesome digital cameras are cheap and easily available.  If you’re going anywhere that has even the slightest chance of running into stuff like this, at least make sure you take a nice camera with you.  I’m sick of seeing all these fuzzy ass shots of some hairy beast or an out of focus UFO.

Speaking of UFO’s, I really think disclosure is coming soon.  I’m seeing more and more news reports of UFO sightings and the Catholic church suddenly felt it necessary to make a statement saying it was ok if there were aliens.  Now why would they do that?  And why the sudden upswing in reports of UFO sightings?  I’m pretty sure it’s coming sooner rather than later.  I’d be really surprised if it didn’t happen by the end of the year or some time in the following year.  If I may say so too, it’s about damn time.

Let’s see, what else…

Oh, I’ve been weightlifting again, which is difficult at the moment because I hurt my left shoulder not too long ago and it’s not fully healed yet.  So it gets really sore when I do bench press and such.  I’ve really been hitting the sit ups hard.  Someday before I die I want a six-pack you can actually see.  I’ve always had just enough fat there to keep you from really seeing anything.  Well I’ve lost weight now and I can see it just a bit.  I have a bit more weight to lose, but I think if I keep eating a low calorie, low sugar, low carb diet like I have been and keep hitting the weights and doing the sit ups, in a month or so I should be looking pretty good.  I got some green tea pills coming too that should help boost my metabolism and get the extra pounds off even faster.  I can’t wait for them to get here so I can get started on that.

And…

Had a great time last night.  See, I posted an ad on Craig’s List to find Sharon a good friend.  Well, it didn’t take long, and now she found one who’s just a great person and super nice.  She’s got a really nice husband and some other friends that we’re also starting to get to know, and we all went out bowling last night and then to an overpriced, snooty, crappy pub downtown after where we had a great time talking and getting to know each other more.  It’s something we haven’t done in like…well, ever.  Not to that level anyway.  It was really nice and we all had a great time.

I got the next issue of Rogue Cinema coming up tomorrow that I have to work on.  It’s gonna be a short issue I think.  I really could use a few more good writers.  I just got a great new one, but the regular staff is overworked and could all use a bit of a break I think.  So if you or anyone you know would like to write for us, let me know.  Anyway, I still have one movie to watch.  I’ll either watch it in the morning or late tonight after Sharon goes to sleep.  I only had two screeners this month.  I have more coming, but they didn’t get here in time for the next issue, so they’ll be in the August issue.  It’s just a lot of work, and honestly I could use about 3 months off from the magazine.  No writing, and having someone else put it together for a few months.  I’m just so burned out right now.  I have been for a long time, as evidenced by how long it’s been since I’ve done a review for this site.  I really do want to review more for this site, but I always have things hanging over my head that keep my attentions elsewhere.

One of those things is music actually, which is one of a very few things I get to do for pleasure.  I’ve been working on getting better at fingering chords on guitar by playing along with the acoustic parts on some Def Leppard songs I really like.  So far I’ve been playing Two Steps Behind and Now, but I also play several of their songs on bass.  I’m about to learn the song Goodbye on bass actually either tonight or on Tuesday.  I need to work on getting better at drums too, but I really want to focus more on guitar right now.

Anyway, that’s it for this time, unless you want me to tell you all how bad I’ve been farting tonight.  Christ, I don’t know where it’s all coming from. :P

  (Current Mood: happyhappy)

Crappy celebs and crappy politicians make for a crappy world…

June 27th, 2008   No Comments »

Ok here’s some more rants, just because I’m bored…

I just read a thing in US Weekly.  It was a short interview with Miley Cyrus saying she still regrets the Vanity Fair photos.  You know, I am SO god damned sick of hearing about those photos.  I saw them and they didn’t show anything more than she’d show in a bikini on the beach.  They actually showed less.  OMG we saw Miley’s bare back!!!  World coming to an end!!!  Call out the National Guard!!!

You know what?  Just stop being a bunch of puritan morons and get over it.  There wasn’t a thing wrong with those pics.  The only thing wrong with them is that some bible thumping morons freak out every time they see a little bit of skin.  Hell, why don’t you idiots all just go and throw on some burquas if you’re all so worried about showing some skin?  Idiots. :P

And then there’s the Verne Troyer sex tape.  Now personally, as a guy, I understand he has needs and desires like everyone else.  Still, I didn’t really need to see him sticking his tongue out to put it in a girl’s mouth.  Especially while I was having dinner.  Someone asked him about it the other day and he didn’t seem too bothered by it, but now all of a sudden that everyone’s saying how creepy it was, he’s decided he’s going to try to score some green out of it by suing TMZ.  Um, I wish I was a celeb so I could make a sex tape and then have it conveniently leaked to a show like TMZ so I could sue them too.  Doesn’t that all sound a bit suspicious?  Suspicious, but still creepy. *shudder*

Then we have Barack Obama.  Ready for my opinion on Barack Obama?  Wait for it….wait for it….

He’s a douche bag.

Why is he a douche bag?  Because he’s a whiny bitch who can’t stand the slightest bit of criticism.  When he is criticized he accuses whoever did it of being racist or lowering the tone of the campaign or whatever else he can come up with the circumvent the always correct critisisms about his lack of experience, lack of knowledge of how the real world works, lack of understanding of how the high gas prices are destroying our economy, his flip flopping on issues, his belonging to anti-American, hate filled churches and even on his idiot wife who was so ashamed of her country, but is suddenly proud of it because that just sounds better for some reason when her idiot husband is trying to get elected.  Oh, but we’re not ever supposed to say anything bad about him because he’s black.  Well, half black anyway.  Oh, and let’s not forget the uproar over the Obama sock monkey.  I personally thought that was hilarious, but you idiots have no sense of humor.  I mean, I saw the thing and it looked just like him.  Big ears and everything.

Anyway, you know what Obama?  Screw you.  Maybe you forgot where the hell it is you live, but you live in a country where we have freedom of speech.  If I want to call you a douche bag because you’re an idiot or a crappy politician or just flat out friggin’ dangerous for our national security, then god damn it that’s what I’m gonna do.  I don’t give a jack whether your black, white or friggin’ Barney the Dinosaur purple.  You’re still a jerk, patently unqualified to be president and someone who’s such an out of touch elitist that you’re going to screw everyone in this country with even higher gas prices and higher taxes.  Maybe all you people out there who’ve drunk the Obama Kool Aid should take a long hard look at what this idiot really stands for and wants to do to this country instead of just supporting him because of his skin color or just the fact that he’s not a Republican.

Now don’t get me wrong, I think the Republicans are a bunch of gutless douche bags too who feel the need to inject their religion into everything, thereby restricting or eliminating freedoms just because they think everyone should follow their religious morals, but Obama is just flat out friggin’ dangerous.  I absolutely can’t stand John McCain, but I’d sure like to see him win just because Susan Sarandon said she’ll leave the country if he does.  I bet she doesn’t though.  That Alec Baldwin idiot said he’d leave the country too if Bush won, but sadly, the moron is still here.  I doubt she’d have any more follow through with her threat than he did.

I just wish there was a viable third party candidate running that believed in the constitution, limited power of government and individual freedoms.  I’d vote for them in a heartbeat.  I’m going to have to take some Pepto Bismol just to stomach having to vote for McCain. :P

Oh well, I was bored and thought I’d pop in and bitch about some stuff.  I’m sure I’ll have more to bitch about later.  You know what the best thing about bitching is?  It not only makes you feel good, but hopefully, it’ll also make some people think, or give everyone a laugh, or get them talking about important issues…like Verne Troyer’s creepy tongue. :D

Anyway, that’s it for now.  I’m gonna go be bored doing something else for a while. :)

  (Current Mood: boredbored)

Just to lighten things up…

June 18th, 2008   No Comments »

I know I’ve made a lot of heavy posts lately, so here’s a doofy joke I found to lighten things up. I thought it was funny anyway…

A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. “You know what?” says the 6-year-old. “I think it’s about time we start cussing.” The 4-year-old nods his head in approval. The 6-year-old continues. “When we go downstairs for breakfast I’m going to say hell and you say ass.”

“OK!” The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

Their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he wants for breakfast. “Aw hell, Mom, I guess I’ll have some Cheerios.”

WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear every step. The mom locks him in his room and shouts “You can just stay there till I let you out!”

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old, and asks with a stern voice, “And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?

“I don’t know,” he blubbers, “But you can bet your ass it won’t be Cheerios!”

  (Current Mood: blahblah)

Irritating neighbors and jerky religious people…

June 17th, 2008   No Comments »

Ok, this is going to be a two part post, because there’s two things I’m going to talk about. First, I just had a visit from a very nice lady from the humane society. Apparently one of our jerk off neighbors complained about excessive barking from our dogs. While she was here, she heard nothing. I explained to her that the reason Missy’s been barking is because there’s a neighbor who house sits a dog once in a while and she sees that dog through the fence and barks. I also told her I’d do my best to stop it from happening. She was very nice, and when I asked her who complained, she couldn’t tell me. She told me I could call the humane society and ask and they could look it up, which I did.

So I call and talk to another nice lady there and she looks it up. They didn’t leave a name or any contact info. She marked it as no more warnings to us after I explained to her what was going on, and said if those people want to complain again they’re going to have to come forward and identify themselves.

Now, here’s why I’m pissed. If you have a problem with a neighbor like this, you don’t file a god damn complaint, you come and knock on the door and politely try to discuss the problem with them and work out a solution. That’s the nice thing to do. Filing an anonymous complaint and hiding behind a phone call because you don’t have the balls to actually talk to your neighbor is just cowardly. I really want toi know who the hell it was that complained, just for my own curiosity. We’re going to start locking Missy in the garage at night just to make sure she’s not barking while we’re asleep or something, but our dogs are generally quiet and there really isn’t any excessive barking problem at all. It’s just someone who decided to be an ass an complain that has the problem. So a big middle finger to them. Next time have the freakin’ balls to come talk to me about it. Jerks!

Anyway, on to the next thing…

I’m sick of idiotic religious people bitching about everything they don’t approve of. This gay marriage thing in California is a prime example. Another example are those idiot muslim cab drivers who won’t take fares with alcohol or dogs. All these idiots seem to think that just because they or their religion doesn’t approve of something, that suddenly everyone else in the entire world has to conform to their beliefs. When someone does give them the smackdown over acting all jerky, they start whining about religious freedom and how they’re being persecuted and blah blah blah…

You know what? I don’t give two squirts of crap about your religions or your beliefs. You live in a free society here in America, and because of that you can believe in whatever fairy tales you want. HOWEVER, you absolutely do not have the right to impose your beliefs on anyone else. If you don’t like something, keep it to yourself and realize that we all live here together and we all have our own beliefs about life and how to live it. No one’s forcing you idiots to turn gay and get married, nor does gay people getting married affect you in any way other than annoying you, which I’m personally happy to see anyway. Muslims think everyone has to fall in lock step with all their bullshit too, but that’s not the case. They chose to live in a free society and to follow that moronic religion. If a free society isn’t compatible with your religion, then leave and go live in some crap hole with the rest of the people who think like you.

I’m just sick to death of everyone trying to impose their beliefs on everyone else. People are individuals. All the religious nuts like to say that god gave us free will. Ok, the gays are exercising their free will to get married to the person they love, just like everyone else in the world does. How exactly is that a bad thing? Oh, because some two thousand year old books written by people who would have thought a cigarette lighter was some miraculous thing say it is. Right…

There’s always been this absolute denial by religious people that gays are simply born that way as well. Sure some choose to be gay or bisexual, but the large majority of gay people are simply born that way. Asking them to turn straight would be like asking you to turn gay. You all get married and such, so why shouldn’t they? Aren’t they just as deserving of happiness as anyone else? Who the hell are you people to dictate to them whether they should be able to marry the person they love or not?

The simple fact is, when they made marriage a legal thing instead of a strictly religious one, you people lost all right to complain. If it was simply a religious issue you could deny it to anyone you want, but gays are entitled to equal treatment under the law as guaranteed by our constitution. They pay their taxes and follow the rules just like everyone else, and should be treated just like anyone else. I actually heard one of the protesters yelling out to the gay people getting married that god hates them. Wow, I thought your god loved all his children. Now you say he hates them? Why? He made them. Are you saying your perfect god created these gay people and screwed it up so now he hates them? What the hell is wrong with you people? Do you not see the fallacy of your own beliefs? Religious people have and always will be the ultimate hypocrites. What they really should say is, “Love thy neighbor, unless they’re gay, or don’t believe like you, or do anything at all that you don’t approve of. Then it’s ok to hate them, and just so you don’t have to take credit for being the jerk you are, you can blame it all on god’s will and skip along on your merry way to make the next person you don’t approve of miserable.”

Then you hear religious people say, “Well the majority of Americans don’t want gays to be able to marry.” Ok, following that logic, what about if the majority of Americans were in favor of slavery? Would we all have slaves now? How about if the majority of Americans decided we had had enough of Mexico invading our country and decided to commit genocide on the Mexicans? Is that ok too just because the majority approves of it? How does a majority of anyone being in favor of anything suddenly make it the right thing to do? The answer is, it doesn’t. All it does is make you people look like a bunch of mindless sheep who, based on nothing other than a desire to impose their beliefs on others, want to keep rights away from people who have every bit as much a right to them as you do.

It’s not like christians have treated marriage all that well either you know. Look at the divorce rate and all the spousal abuse and infidelity and everything else. Do you really think gays would treat marriage any worse than you people? They’d probably treat it better because they’d appreciate it more after how long it’s been withheld from them. Plus, for the most part, they’re not going to be breeding and bringing more stupid people into the world.

Anyway, that’s my rant for today. I wasn’t going to rant about anything, but this stuff just irritated the hell out of me, so I figured I would.

  (Current Mood: irritatedirritated)

Holes…

June 16th, 2008   No Comments »

For a really long time now something’s been missing in my life. Like a hole that’s never been filled. I’ve felt it for years, but only recently, it’s made me feel more and more empty, and unfortunately, it’s a hole that’s unlikely to ever be filled. I won’t get into what it is, but in discussing it with my wife Sharon, I came to a better understanding of a couple of holes she has in her life as well. She has some holes that have a better chance than mine of being filled eventually, but they’re things that I have a much deeper understanding of now since we talked, and she has a much deeper understanding of mine as well, which brought us even closer, if that was possible.

We all have holes in our lives I think. Some emptiness that we long to have filled with the things we need to make us complete. Sometimes the holes are just a product of our life experiences, sometimes they’re created. One big hole in our lives was created for us when our dog Cyndri, who was literally our child, died last year. That’s a hole we can never fill, because only having her back could fill it. Sure we can always get a new puppy, but every dog we love and then lose to death creates a new hole.

Sometimes it’s family members dying that leaves holes in our lives. My parents, and Sharon’s are still around, but someday they won’t be, and their loss will create new holes in our lives, just as losing our beloved pets does. Holes that can’t be filled, but only thinly covered over from time to time with the great memories we have of those who are no longer with us.

My personal hole in my life that leaves me feeling unfulfilled is a result of my past life experiences, and a desire to make up for those experiences, and also for the ones I never had but wanted so desperately. My wife’s holes revolve around experiences she herself has desperately wanted, but never had, and an inability to have something in her life that she desperately needs to feel complete. I know it’s cryptic, but I don’t really want to go into all the details.

My point is, we all have these holes in our lives. The only way to ever feel truly good about our short existence on this planet, is to do our best to fill those holes that leave us feeling unfulfilled. Some we can fill, while others will never be filled. All we can do is to try our best and give it a shot, regardless of the outcome. Dying with regrets and a feeling of having had an incomplete life is not a way any of us want to go out I think, and I guess my point is, if we don’t at least try, then what’s the point in living? At least we’d have tried and failed, and that’s far better than accepting the emptiness and living your life knowing that you never really tried to fulfill your dreams.

I know this may not make a lot of sense, but as I get older, I think about these things a lot more. Facing one’s own mortality isn’t a pretty thing, but it is a reflective one. Sometimes you just have to take a long hard look at yourself and understand the roadblocks between you and what would make you the happiest, and then work to remove those roadblocks as best as you can. Dreams can’t all come true, but without trying to make them come true, all they’ll ever be is dreams. Ever try to fill a hole with a dream? It doesn’t get very full.

Anyway, now that I’m done confusing you all, I’ll shuffle off and try to think of something more interesting or amusing to write about in my next post.