King of the Zombies

Year Of Release: 1941
Running Time: 67 Minutes
DVD Released By: Alpha Video
Directed By: Jean Yarbrough
Writing Credits: Edmund Kelso
Filming Location: Unknown

Starring: Dick Purcell, Joan Woodbury, Mantan Moreland, Henry Victor, John Archer, Patricia Stacey, Guy Usher, Marguerite Whitten, Leigh Whipper, Madame Sul-Te-Wan

Tagline: Don't miss this shock-crammed punch-packed double thriller-chiller terror program!

Alternate Titles:
I was unable to locate any alternate titles for this film.

Interesting Bits of Trivia:
Mantan Moreland, who plays Jefferson 'Jeff' Jackson in this film, had a very long and prolific career. Throughout his forty years in front of the camera, he performed in 129 films, and appeared posthumously in three others. He also had a few notable television appearances which included guest spots on Adam-12 and Love American Style. He was born on September 3, 1903 in Monroe, Louisiana and died on September 28, 1973 from a cerebral hemorrhage in Hollywood, California.
This film scored an oscar nimination for Best Musical Score of a Dramatic Picture.

Rogue Reviewers Round Table Review: April 2003
Review Topic: "Night of the Living Rogues"




Cast Of Characters
Bill Summers: I grabbed this screenshot because Bill was making his dorky face in this one. Now seriously, isn't that a dorky look? You should have seen the look he had a few seconds before this when he was checkin' out Barbara's breasts. Anyway, this is Bill. We don't really know what Bill does, but Dr. Sangre seems to think that he might work for the secret service. He's a total skeptic, blowing off anything he doesn't see with his own eyes. He could have made things a whole lot easier for everyone if he had just been a little more open minded.

James 'Mac' McCarthy: James was the pilot who crash landed the plane on the island. See that band-aid on his head? He got that when he was thrown out of the plane as it crashed. Seems that he landed on his head or something. He's Irish by the way. Not that it matters, but I bet he's pretty ticked off at whoever came up with that luck o' the Irish thing, 'cause he don't have much luck at all. He even gets turned into a zombie and shot three times. Then again, maybe he is lucky. At least he lived through the end of the movie.

Jefferson 'Jeff' Jackson: See them eyes? Well you get to see that look on his face a lot in this movie. This guy is scared of damn near everything, but at least he helps out and doesn't make a liability out of himself. Jeff has probably ninety-five percent of the funny lines in this picture. The other five percent are delivered by Samantha. Jeff's got the hots for Samantha by the way, but I don't know if it's her or her cookin' that he loves more.

Dr. Mikhail Sangre: This guy is a total weasel. He even sacrificed his own wife in the pursuit of information that he could hand over to the nazis. He's got this thing about voodoo and stuff like that. He uses a combination of hypnotism and voodoo magic to turn people into zombies. I could have saved him a whole lot of trouble. If you really want to turn people into mindless zombies, all you gotta do is take them to a Wal Mart and stick a shopping cart in their hands. That seems to work every time.

Alyce Sangre: So let's see here. Her whole dialogue in this movie consisted of her slurring out the word "Noooo" over and over again in this one scene. Other than that, she never said a word and just walked around with this stupid zombie look on her face all the time. This is Dr. Sangre's wife by the way. At least she was until he killed her in a transmigration ritual. No big loss in my opinion.

Barbara Winslow: She's Alyce's niece and Dr. Sangre's niece by marriage. She's there in the house acting as Dr. Sangre's secretary, but what she's really there for is to break the hypnotic spell he holds over her aunt so that she can get them both out of there. She's a really unusual character in that she's pretty, but she's not dumb and doesn't get in the way. Plus, she's got a cute accent and a sweet smile. Now what more could you ask for?

Mombo: Dinner is served. Come right now or I'll use my black magic ju ju teeth to make you bend to my will. Mwa ha ha!!! This is Mombo. He's Dr. Sangre's butler and although he kinda walks around like one of the zombies, he isn't really one of them. He just ain't got much of a personality.

Samantha The Maid: She's just the maid. She feeds the zombies when they need feedin' and hands out helpful tidbits of information at appropriate moments. I'm not really sure why she was in this movie though. She didn't really take much of an active role in the outcome. It's almost like they threw her in there so that Jeff would have someone to talk to and flirt with. She's a very likable character though and actually adds quite a bit to the charm of the movie.

Tahama, the Cook and High Priestess: Now I don't know if I could ever be pursuaded to eat anything that this old bag cooked. Never know what you might find in there. Skin flakes, lice, cockroaches, ear wax, old dentures...you name it. In addition to her cooking duties, she also acts as the voodoo high priestess and fashion consultant. You'll get to see some of her fine fashions and makeovers later on in the review.




The Plot
Three men whose airplane crash lands on an island after being guided there by a mysterious radio transmission discover that there's more to this island than meets the eye. After making their way out of the jungle, they find themselves at the mansion of one Dr. Sangre, who takes them in for the night. Unbeknownst to them, Dr. Sangre is using a combination of voodoo and hypnotism to turn the local people into an army of zombies, which he plans to use to gather secret defense information for the axis powers. Will Bill, Mac, and Jeff be able to discover the secret of the zombies and be able to stop Dr. Sangre in time? Let's read on and find out...



What The Hell???

1. Jungle music with a horn section. That's how this movie begins. The image is twitchin' all over the place though. I'm not sure why. Once the credits and the jazzy music are done, we find ourselves in the cockpit of an airplane. I know who two of these guys are already. The pilot is James McCarthy and the weather guy sitting in the back is Jeff Jackson who's played by the ever funny Mantan Moreland. You may not recognize his name, but if you remember that old Warner Brothers cartoon with the black army ants and the red army ants fighting over a picnic, then you'll probably remember the black army ant leader who, after his troops carried off this big ol' sub sandwich, came back and said, "Oops! Forgot the mustard!" Mantan Moreland is the guy they were spoofing in that scene. That's how he talks. I wish I had a sound clip of that for you. It's one of my childhood cartoon quotes that always stuck with me. I still say it to this day just like the ant did when I forget the mustard. Ok, so I'm lame...so sue me. Anyway, the third guy hasn't been identified by name yet so I'll let you know who that is when I find out myself. Apparently these guys are lost because Jeff didn't set up his weather gadgets properly. They seem to be flying somewhere between Cuba and Puerto Rico, but they don't know where. I sure hope these guys are up on their life insurance and swimming lessons, because they're bound to run out of gas pretty soon considering that they're flying around over the ocean at night with no clue where they're at. They start worrying about the gas situation, and begin to look for an island to land on. Suddenly, a radio transmission comes in really strong, but in a language they don't understand. James spots a clearing down below them, and in one of the cheapest lookin' Ed Woodish scenes it's ever been my privilege to see, the model on a string, er...I mean, the plane comes down and busts through some of the local vegetation at about a speedy two miles an hour before it finally comes to rest on it's belly in the middle of a jungle in the middle of an island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Phew, I'm so relieved they got down safely. Now at least Jeff will be able to go back for the mustard later on in the film.

2. Wait a minute! Jeff's dead!!!! No, he's not dead, he just ended up laying flat on his back in front of a grave stone. Man, I bet he's gonna freak when he wakes up. Waiting...waiting...waiting...he's waking up with the bug eyes now...hahahahahahahahaa!!! Yep, he freaked. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! He gets up and runs over to Bill and asks him if they're dead. Bill says, "No, of course we're not dead." and then Jeff's all, "I thought I was a little off color to be a ghost." They just spotted someone over by another grave under a canvas tarp moving around. Bill says, "That's no ghost. Come on." and Jeff's all, "I can't. My foot done took ta root." I can already tell that Mantan Moreland's character Jeff is totally going to make this movie. This should be a lot of fun. I'll have to list his quotes in here I guess, otherwise the quotes section would be full of them. Anyway, Bill runs over to the canvas and helps Mac out from underneath it. He stands up, but he looks drunk for a bit. Apparently he got a crack on the noggin when he landed over there. Cut back to Jeff now as some jungle drums start to beat. He puts his hand over his heart and says, "Quiet will ya? Whatcha tryin' ta do? Wake up the dead?" Again...hahahahahahaha! Man he looks so freaked out. The three of them go wandering off through the jungle to see where the drums are coming from. Finally they come to this big creepy old mansion. They decide to go over to the house to see if there's anyone alive there. Jeff don't want no part of it, but when they leave him standing there alone in the middle of the jungle, he changes his mind real quick.

3. So the three of them reach the house and Bill tells Jeff to ring the doorbell. Jeff's all, "Uh uh. You wanna be here so bad, you ring it." So Bill goes ahead and rings the bell. "RING THE BELL! RING THE BELL!" Oh sorry, I was having an Orgazmo flashback there for a moment. If you've never seen Orgazmo, then see it as soon as you possibly can. It's seriously funny. Anyway, no one answers so they just walk on in. Some creepy guy that looks vaguely like Ed Wood comes walking down the stairs with a candle. He knows that their plane has crashed. and offers them a place to stay for the night. He asks his butler to go get some rooms made up for them, and then he proceeds to introduce himself as Dr. Nadeibogenblahgenleiderhosen. Man, I don't know what the hell he just said. He's got a fairly thick accent and the sound on that part was kinda muddy. Lemme listen to it again and see if I can pick it up. Nope. Lemme try again. Nope. Lemme try again. Ok, I think I got it this time. I made out enough to pick out his name from the character list on IMDB. He's Dr. Mikhail Sangre. What it really sounds like he's saying here is Soundley, not Sangre, but IMBD says it's Sangre so I'm going to go along with it since this guy apparently can't pronounce his own name properly. Oh and he's from Vienna too so I guess that makes him feel special or something because he just tacked that onto the end of his little introduction. Let's see here...Vienna...Vienna...vienna sausages...guy's wearing a smoking jacket and a bow tie...looks like he just came from a fancy slumber party...not married and living in in the jungle with just his man servant...vienna sausages...cocktail weenies...little meat...oh yeah, it's all starting to add up now. So he leads them off to their rooms, but Jeff stays back with Bill and tells him that they should get out of there. He says that that man ain't no doctor and that there's somethin' wrong here. He says, "That man ain't no doctor. That's Svengali!" I wonder if the good doctor would be able to provide Jeff with a change of underwear. He's been scared so often in the first eight minutes of this movie, I'm sure he's ready for a change of drawers by now.

4. Oh I thought he was leading them to their rooms. He was actually leading them into the study. Man, how cheesy can you get? He's got a fireplace with some kind of a little idol statue on the mantle, a native mask hanging above it, and there's a skull on the shelf in the book case. His butler is walking around like a zombie lighting various candles while they talk. Man, there's candles all over in this place. They all introduce themselves at this point, and while Jeff is introducing himself, the guy kinda loses interest and starts nudging up to Mac. He reaches up and gently caresses the side of Mac's head and says, "Ah, you have been hurt." Now I'm sorry, but that was just so gay. Mac says that it was just a bump on the noggin, but the doctor says that often even the most minor injury on this island can prove fatal. Well isn't that nice to know. I bet they don't put that in their travel brochures. He goes on to say that it's the climate and blah blah, and that the natives say that it's also because of evil spirits. Mac says that that's a load of bunk. The doctor doesn't seem too offended by that and offers them some brandy. They all accept, so he asks Momba the servant to bring some over. Jeff is all tripped out by Momba and he asks the doctor if Momba is one of the spirits he was talkin' about. The doctor says that although Momba reflects the mood of this house, he's not as sinister as he looks. They tell the doctor about the radio transmission they heard that led them to the island. He said that it's impossible and that their ears must be playing them tricks because there are no radio transmitters within miles of the island. He says that there are boats that come there fairly regularly though, and there's one due in about two weeks and he asks them to be his guests until then. I know what he's thinkin too. He's thinkin', "I wonder if the tall injured one likes vienna sausages?" Man, I think if I were Mac, I'd be sleeping with my door locked tonight. Then again, he does have a head injury. Let's see here. Head injury...head...head...um, never mind.

5. The doctor leads them to their rooms. He takes them into Mac's and then tells Bill that his is next door. Mamba is in the room lighting candles. Man that guy moves fast. Wasn't he just downstairs? Must be some kinda voodoo magic teleportation or something. Gee, and here all this time I thought that only people who knew the fine art of Japanese teeth magic could do that. Anyway, Jeff pipes in and asks him if he's not forgettin' something. He says he's not, and then Jeff's all, "Well what about me?" The doctor is going to make Jeff sleep down in the servant's quarters because if he were to sleep upstairs in a real room, it would set a bad example for the servants. He tells Jeff not to be frightened of Momba, and that he won't hurt him if he likes him. Jeff's all, "And if he don't?" The doctor just shrugs and Jeff starts freakin' again. Momba walks over and Jeff tries to make nice with him, but Momba just stands there like a zombie. Jeff really gets freaked out at this point and backs out of the room with Momba following him. The doctor excuses himself to go get some bandages for Mac's head. After he leaves and closes the door, Mac and Bill start talking about the whole situation. Mac says the language he heard on the radio is the same gibberish that the doctor was just speaking to Momba, and that it was probably the same voice too. The doctor flings the door open at this point and apologizes for not knocking. He hands Mac the bandages and then excuses himself. Meanwhile...

6. Jeff and Mombo are walking down into what looks like the basement. Jeff's all, "Whoooo! If it was in me, I'd sure be pale now." Man he's funny. I swear he's got every funny line in this movie. They finally get downstairs and Mombo says, "Samantha" and then walks away. Jeff's happy now, because Samantha is this cute black waitress servant chick from Alabama. Compared to everything else I've seen so far in this creep show of a house, she sure seems out of place. They start talkin' and then Jeff spots this creepy old crone stirring in a pot. He says that he knows a muse'm that would pay a fortune to have her under glass. Samantha asks him what a muse'm is and he says that it's a place where they keep dead things. Then Samantha's all, "Oh, like here." Jeff gives her a look and then starts walking over to the crone and says, "What's cookin'?" Now isn't that typical? Guys can be scared to death, but when there's food involved, forget it. Imagine Barbara Streisand and Rosie O'Donnell nekkid and playing tonsil hockey together. Now this would normally make any man run away screaming into the night like a little bitch. But now let's say that said act at was taking place at a barbeque where chicken and ribs and beer were plentiful. I guarantee that just about any guy would pull up a damn lawn chair right between the keg and the potato salad and then sit there enjoying the show all day long. Food has a powerful hold over men that heretofore is an unexplained, and yet somehow magical phenomena. Women couldn't care less about food unless it was something made out of chocolate. If a woman had the choice of being eaten by a zombie, or leaving the last piece of chocolate cake behind, she'd totally end up as zombie chow. She'd grab that cake and start whining, "Nooooooooo! This is my cake! You can't have any!" Think about Sally Struthers in the "Starvin' Marvin" episode of South Park, and you'll get the idea. In fact, you don't have to think about it. Here's a sound clip for you. So anyway, he goes over and tastes the old crone's brew and makes a face. Samantha starts telling him that the brew is to keep away evil spirits. Then she goes on to tell him about the zombies and about how they're all over the place and every time you clap your hands, they come a runnin'. So what does she do? She claps her hands and two zombies come walkin' in. Naturally Jeff freaks out at this point and goes runnin off into the servants bedroom. Momba is in there and asks him what took him so long. He basically talks like a zombie himself, so Jeff goes runnin' out of there too. I thought his eyes were gonna pop out of his head a few times there.

7. So now Jeff goes running upstairs where Bill and Mac are and starts telling them about the zombies down in the basement. They're not really believing him, and as he keeps trying to explain what he saw, Dr. Sangre comes in and basically acts like he doesn't believe him either. He suggests they go down to the kitchen to investigate and find out what he saw. Man, what a creep. Bill and Mac agree to go down there and in the next scene, they enter down into the kitchen. Samantha and the old crone are totally denying everything. Apparently the doctor doesn't like it when his servants flap their lips about zombies and voodoo and all that crazy stuff like that there. So the doctor and Max and Bill leave and Jeff gets all upset with Samantha and the old crone. Samantha basically tells Jeff that the doctor is cultivating the zombies, and that if he's smart, he'll keep his nose out of it. Jeff seems to think that that's a pretty good idea. But then, we all know what Jeff's thinkin' right about now. He's thinkin', "Get me the hell outta here!"

8. Back upstairs, Dr. Sangre's wife Alyce comes walking down the stairs. So now we have two things that are interesting here. The first thing is that I thought Dr. Sangre was gay. So that theory is all shot to hell now. The second is that Alyce is standing there like a zombie. Now what's odd about that is that women usually only get like that after they've walked into a See's candy store. In fact, I think the See's company actually started making chocolate brains just to satisfy all the female zombies that kept wandering into their store. But that's another story... Anyway, the doctor starts explaining to Bill and Mac how his wife is suffering from a strange malady that he's trying to cure, and about how it was similar to the so called zombies that Jeff claimed to have seen down in the kitchen. She lives, but she walks in the land of those beyond. Hell, I know a lot of women who walk around like that. Go to any Wal Mart and you'll see tons of them. Hell, some of them don't even walk. The fat ones usually just drive around on those motorized isle blockers lookin' for a good price on peanut butter.

9. They all walk into another room now, where a younger girl is standing there by the booze tray gettin' herself a snort. She turns around when they all walk in, and then rushes over to Alyce to help her sit down. You know, something just occurred to me here. I know from reading the back of the box that this guy is doing some secret work for the nazi's or something like that. So if it's all so secret, then why the hell are there so many people hangin' out in his house? What's he gonna do next? Throw a freakin' party? Anyway, he says to the girl, "Forgive us for intruding. I didn't know you liked to drink alone." So basically, whoever this girl is, now at least we know she's a total lush. Hope he doesn't leave the keys to the car layin' around. She says she was nervous and she thought that it might make her feel better. Yeah, I bet she says that all the time at the AA meetings. The doctor introduces her as his niece Barbara Winslow. She pipes up real quick and says, "By marriage." Not like it matters or anything. I'm not sure why she was so worried about making that clear to them. She says that her uncle told her about their plane crashing, and then she asks them how long it will take them to get it fixed so they can leave. The doctor chastises her for asking such a question, and she apologizes and says that she didn't mean it that way. The doctor tells them that all she does is dream of leaving the island, but that none of them can ever leave. At least, not his family anyway. They're Austrian refugees who had to flee their country without their passports. So they're basically stuck there. It always warms my heart to see immigrants making good. This poor guy and his family comes all the way over from Austria with thirty-seven cents in his pocket and with a little hard work and a lot of voodoo and elbow grease, starts himself a thriving zombie breeding facility. Doesn't that just make you feel good to see a success story like that? Somehow I don't think this chick Barbara is really his daughter though, because she called him doctor and then corrected herself and called him her uncle. Anyway, Dr. Sangre says that it's different for them. They wouldn't be on the island if it wasn't for their plane crashing. They mention that they think the islands must be bad luck for planes because one of their admirals who was on his way to Panama disappeared around there. The doctor says that he'll talk to the natives, and if he learns anything of their admiral, he'll let them know. Yeah right, like he doesn't know already the smarmy bastard. Mac walks over to the table now and starts examining some native masks and drums and what not. Dr. Sangre says that they constitute his hobby and were collected from all over the world. Symbols of black magic, lycanthropy, etc... A little more explanation follows, and then Mombo comes in and says in a very bizarre voice, "Dinner is served." So they all trot along happily to the magical voodoo dining room for the shrunken head buffet and live music by Murph and the Magic Tones. I wonder if there'll be cocktails afterwards?

10. Down in the kitchen, Jeff is wiping a plate and bitching to Samantha about how this ain't the kinda thing someone like him who's used to hangin' out with big shots should be doin'. A little more chit chat about Mr. Bill being a big shot ensues, and then Mombo comes in and tells them that it's time go to bed. Samantha tells Jeff that it's almost midnight and he better get to bed or the haints are gonna get you. It's their feedin' time, and they likes dark meat. Jeff's all, "Dark meat??? You don't have to play no second chord for me to know who that means. Where's that bed???" Mombo tells him to stay there. Jeff freaks a little, and Mombo re-iterates that he's to stay there, and to not pay attention to anything that he sees or hears. The old crone starts cackling at him and they all leave him there. So he stays behind in the kitchen, and lights up a bunch of candles, because he says, "Where there's light, there's hope. So he beds down and he's got six candles lit next to him. The clock chimes twelve, and one candle goes out every time the clock gongs. Jeff covers his head with the blanket, and then suddenly two zombies come walking up. He's all, "Don't come close to me. I ain't no filet mignon." They try to grab him, but he scoots away and runs back upstairs. He busts in on Mac and Bill and Dr. Sangre and tells them about the zombies down in the kitchen. Dr. Sangre says he's suffering from hallucinations, but Jeff insists that he saw what he saw. Finally Jeff gets them to let him sleep in their room with them. So Dr. Sangre finally agrees to let him sleep up there with them, and he takes off. As they're talking amongst themselves and getting ready for bed, they suddenly hear a generator start up. Mac says that there's only one reason for a generator to be on this island. Radio. He says that if they live through the night he's gonna go back to the plane tomorrow and if the radio's ok he's gonna sit on it until he can scare up a gun boat.

11. It's night time now. Mac and Bill are sleeping in the bed and Jeff is sleeping on the couch thingy whatever it is. At least, he was until some woman zombie (I don't know for sure who it is because I can't get a good look at the face) came walking into their room dressed in this really nice white night gown lookin' thing. Jeff is watching her walk across the room and he's scared to death. The woman walks over to Bill who's sleeping in his bed, and reaches out to him. She pulls back before she touches him and then walks out of the room through a panel in the wall. Jeff wakes them up and tells them what happened. They don't believe him until he picks an ear ring up off the floor that the lady zombie dropped. So now they believe him and they go over to examine the wall that Jeff said he saw her walk through. It was solid and they couldn't find any doors or anything. Then all of a sudden, the doorknob on their door started moving like someone was trying to open it. They rush over and bust through the door...but no one's there. Man, I don't know about you people, but I'm startin' to get scared over here. This is like some kind of a Scooby Doo haunted house thing goin' on here. I wonder if Yasmeen Bleeth saw zombies and stuff while she was going through detox? Sorry, I just figured I had to get a Yasmeen Bleeth reference in there somewhere since it's like tradition now at the Rogues IRC movie gatherings. Anyway, Bill says that he's gonna get to the bottom of this right now. Jeff ain't crazy about that idea either, but they all three go downstairs and start lookin' around. Someone's walkin' around down there. They keep showing someone's feet walking along. Mac says that he'll go down to the kitchen with Jeff to look around and Bill says he'll look around the ground floor there. Jeff don't wanna go back down in the kitchen, but Mac basically drags him along. The feet we saw walking earlier were Mombo's, and he's following Bill and Jeff down the hallway now. Back upstairs, Bill hears someone coming down the stairs, so he hides. Turns out it's Barbara, and she heads off into the study where she grabs a book off the shelf about hypnotism. Bill sneaks up on her while her back is turned and starts talking to her. That is, he starts talking to her after her heart starts again. He scared her pretty good. Apparently, Barbara is looking up hypnotism because she's worried about her aunt. She's been hypnotized by Dr. Sangre, and Barbara desperately wants to get her off that island. Bill offers to help her if she'll help him and she agrees. He asks her about the radio. She says that she suspects that he has one but that she's never been able to find it. She says there must be one because he's always getting messages from somewhere. They say their goodnights and she smiles at him sweetly. Gee, I wonder where this relationship is going?

12. Downstairs, Mac asks Jeff where them zombies came from. Jeff says, "They didn't. They sprouted just like mushrooms." Mac says that with a description like that, they should be very easy to find. Then Jeff's all, "That's just what I'm afraid of." Mac wants to have a look around, but Jeff says that he's gonna stay right there. So Mac wanders off and Jeff walks over to the basin and looks at himself in the mirror. Suddenly, a zombie comes up behind him and puts his hand on Jeff's shoulder. Jeff screams and runs away. He finds Mac and Mac slugs the zombie a good one. Not that it did much good mind you, seeing as how the zombie was a lot bigger than him. The zombie threw him down and left. Bill comes downstairs at this point and they tell him what happened. Dr. Sangre comes running in now and says that he heard someone cry out. Bill tries to downplay everything but Mac pipes up about the zombies and Jeff backs him up. Bill apologizes and says that they should have taken his advice and stayed in their rooms where they belonged. He says that it won't happen again, and then they all three go back up to their room. I have an apple now by the way. It's a good movie snack, and good for you too. Remember now kiddies. An apple a day keeps the zombies away. And a bunch of apples a day keeps the constipation away. Then again you could just eat a bunch of raw garlic and keep everyone away. I don't know where I am. Oh grandma it was terrible. Becky was wearing the same dress to the prom that I was. All the zombies wanted to dance with me though because I was the prettiest. What the hell am I saying. I don't know. Where the hell did I leave that medication? What was I doing? Oh yeah, the review. Sorry folks, I faded out there for a bit. Let's get back to it.

13. Ok, it's the next day now, and Bill and Mac are talking in the study. Barbara comes in and they ask her about the ear ring. They thought it was hers, but she tells them that it belongs to her aunt. Dr. Sangre comes walking in now leading Alyce by the arm along with him. There's some amiable chit chat and then Mac and Bill start staring at Alyce's ear rings. Dr. Sangre says that they are one of the few possessions that they were allowed to take with them out of their country when they left, and that they are quite unique. There's not another pair like them in the world. Maybe not a pair there Doc, but I think Bill and Mac might have found at least one more...

14. Bill and Mac go out to examine the plane. They stop in the grave yard by the crash site to talk for a moment. They both noticed that the ear ring they found last night was identical to the ones Alyce was wearing. Then Mac notices that the grave they're standing next to is freshly dug. Bill doesn't think anything of it, because as he says, "It's a graveyard. It's customary to bury people in freshly dug graves." Mac's worried because the headstone says the guy was buried over a week ago, but the grave had been dug since some time after the storm last night. Bill tells him that he's got zombies on the brain and that he's just as bad as Jeff. So they walk over to the plane, and they discover that since last night, someone has come and disassembled the radio in their plane. They decide that Mac is gonna go look for the generator that they heard last night while Bill goes back to the mansion and tries to get Barbara away from Dr. Sangre so he can find out what she was trying to tell them before the doctor interrupted them. So they walk away, and two zombies come creepin' out of the jungle to follow them. It's the same two zombies that Jeff saw in the kitchen the night before. You know, I just remembered something that I had been wondering about a long time ago. You know how typically in movies zombies eat flesh and brains and what not? Well don't they ever poop? I mean, you never see big piles of zombie poop laying on the ground in these movies. You never see a zombie doin' the hunchback by some tree. You never see any zombies with skid marks in their drawers. So where does it all go? I mean, it must be goin' somewhere, otherwise they'd just bloat up and explode. Yes, I wonder about such things, because I have an inquisitive mind. Also because I have nothing better to do.

15. Back at the house, Dr. Sangre goes through a secret door in a bookshelf and after lighting a candle, he walks down a long dark hallway until he comes to a room where we find the old crone Tahama chanting inanely at the admiral who's passed out in some voodoo chair. There's two zombies standing behind him, and some other dude playing the bongos. Tahama is the old crone from the kitchen who was cookin' up the brew earlier. We find out now that she's actually Tahama, the Cook and High Priestess! Well hello Miss Fancy Bloomers. The doctor asks her why it's taking so long. Tahama says that voodoo magic works slow, but it is sure. He says that her magic is no good because the admiral has fainted and she's put him to sleep. She says that she put him in a trance so that he would talk. He tells her that it's too slow and that the admiral has information that he needs right now because the men upstairs might be with the secret service. He finally gets done bitching and walks away while Tahama goes back to her inane chanting. Hell, if I was the admiral, I'd tell her anything she wanted to know just to get her to shut the hell up. Damn that old broad is annoying. He voice is like nails on a blackboard. Sounds like two cats fighting after they sucked down some helium. Dr. Sangre walks over to his radio and starts talking on it in some funky language that sounds like German, but it might be something else. I know he's workin' for the nazi's in this movie, so I assume it is.

16. In the kitchen, Jeff just got done eating and he's talking to Samantha. She asks him if he wants another piece of pie. He says he does, which leads me to my second "Best Quote" in the movie, which you can read down below. She starts telling him about the guy she used to be with and how he used to be an exporter. He asks her what happened to him and she tells him that he was killed by a revolving crane. He says that they sure do have some fierce birds on that island. He asks her if she misses him, and she says that she still sees him now and then. Turns out he's one of the zombies that almost got Jeff last night. Anyway, Bill comes in now. He asks Jeff if he's seen Mac because he's been missing since early this morning. He and Jeff are going to look for Mac, and Bill sends Jeff up to his room to get his gun. When Jeff gets there, he finds Dr. Sangre going through Bill's bag. He tells Jeff that he's been looking for him and then after an interaction that was funny, but to involved to type out here, he ends up showing Jeff the secret door in the room. Jeff says that that's the door the ghost lady went through. Dr. Sangre takes him through the doorway, and Jeff is really scared at this point. They go down the long dark hallway together, and Jeff asks him where they're going. The doctor just keeps shushing him. Back up in the bedroom, Bill comes running in looking for Jeff. Mombo is there. He asks him where Jeff is and where his gun went and all kinda of stuff and all he can get out of Mombo is, "I wouldn't know sir." Man, I bet Mombo is great fun at parties. I can just picture him now with a lampshade on his head doing the macarena.

17. Back to the doctor and Jeff now. The doctor led him into that secret area, and Jeff now has two big zombies standing behind him. The doctor tells him to look at the watch that he's swinging in front of him. He's hypnotizing Jeff and making him repeat after him, which jeff does in a trance-like way. Here's how it went.

Dr. Sangre: "Look at this watch. See it move. Watch it. You have seen nothing. You know nothing. Repeat after me. I have seen nothing. I know nothing."
Jeff: "I have seen nothin'. I knows nothin'."
Dr. Sangre: "I don't even know my name."
Jeff: "I don't even know my name."
Dr. Sangre: "I am dead."
Jeff: "I am... I is???"
Dr. Sangre: "Repeat! I am dead."
Jeff: "I am dead."
Dr. Sangre: "I am dead. I have returned to the land of the living. I am a zombie. I am a zombie. I am a zombie."
Jeff: "I am a zombie. I am a zombie. I am a zombie."
Dr. Sangre: "Get over there where you belong."
Jeff: "Yes sir."

So then he walks over to where the other two zombies are standing and says, "Move over boys. I'm one of the gang now." They split apart and he stands in between them. Excuse me a minute... Hahahahahahahahahahah!!!!! Ok that's better.

18. Bill's outside and it's night time now. He's calling out for Mac and Jeff and walking around with a flashlight. There's a zombie standing behind this hanging foliage not ten feet away from him, and the big dork doesn't even see him. Bill walks back to the house and the zombie follows him. Bill walks back into the house and he hears a voice coming from the study. Barbara has Alyce in there and she's dangling a watch in front of her face and trying to get her to come out of her trance and to remember everything. All she can get out of her is, "Noooo..." Actually, that's an improvement over how she was before. Bill mistakes what she's doing and accuses her of being the one who hypnotized Alyce in the first place. She denies it and tells him that she's only trying to undo what's already been done. Just then, Bill comes in. He's been zombified. Bill runs over to him and says that he's not well. He tells Barbara to get him some brandy. Yeah, that'll help. Hell, forget about the brandy. Why don't you just have Barbara whip him up a zombie.* That would be a more appropriate drink. Bill sits Mac down and asks him where he's been. He asks him where he's been, but Mac's totally out of it. Dr. Sangre comes in at this point and says that he saw Mac coming out from out in the jungle. He looks Mac over and says that he's contracted a rare and deadly form of jungle fever that disrupts the motor functions in the brain. Bill asks the doctor if he can help and he says that he can't because it's beyond his power. Then he tells Bill that there's a doctor in the local village that knows more about this sickness than he does, so he sends Mombo out to summon the doctor.

* Note: For those if you that don't know, there actually is a mixed drink called a zombie.You don't hear about it much anymore though. It used to be popular during the 1940's I believe. See, you have to know that for the joke to be funny. See how much funnier it is now that you know that? Remember kids, knowledge is power.

19. It's later now, and the doctor from the village, Dr. Couillie, finally shows up. Dr. Sangre introduces him to Bill and then they go over to the bed where Mac is. The doctor feels for a pulse and then listens for a heartbeat. He tells Bill that he's sorry, but there's nothing he can do. This man's been dead since the morning. Mac is just laying there staring at the celing like a...well like a zombie.

20. Again, it's later. Bill is sitting there in the living room and Dr. Sangre comes in. He says that he's sorry about the death of his friend, and Bill says that what has to be, has to be. He asks the doctor why they had to bury him so soon though. The doctor tells him that it's out of his hands, and that it's local law that the dead must be buried quickly because the climate, and something worse makes it necessary. He goes on to say that there's even some whispering amongst the locals that he was bewitched. Bill asks him why and the doctor says that it may have been because he was prying into things that were none of his concern. Momba comes in that this point and says something to the doctor in German. They both step outside and Momba tells him that a message has come over the radio. The people on the other end must have the admiral's information at once. Dr. Sangre says that they have to make him talk. Momba says they might perform the ceremony. Dr. Sangre's all, "The rights of transmigration." He tells Mombo to get everything ready, inform Tahama, and get Madame Sangre to the dungeon.

21. Momba goes into the kitchen and says something to Tahama in German about the ceremony. She says she'll be right along. Before she goes, she tells Samantha that she has to stay behind and feed the zombies. Samantha tells her that she can't stand no zombies, but Tahama just tells her that she had better set another place for dinner, because they'll be having a new guest this evening. The Irishman from upstairs. So she leaves and Samantha dishes out some food and then claps her hands to call the zombies in. The zombies all walk in with Jeff leading them like a squad. She asks him what he's doing there and he tells her that he don't know nothin' but he's a zombie now, and don't ask him his name because he can't remember. She's all, "You ain't no zombie. Zombie's can't talk." He says that all he knows is that he's a zombie now, and that as a member, he has certain rights and privledges...like eatin'. So he and the zombies sit down to eat and the two of them talk about what's goin' on and she tells him about Mac. He asks her if he can't get some salt for the food. She says that he has to eat it the way it is. Then she brings some salt over, and says she changed her mind. She dumps a ton of it on and he takes a bite and makes a nasty face. He asks her if she's trying to poison him and she asks him how he's feelin'. He asks her how he should be feelin'. She says that if he feels dead, then he's a zombie. If he ain't feelin' dead, then he ain't no zombie. The rule says that when a zombie uses salt, he dries up and gets dead again. He asks her how he looks. She grabs a mirror and says, "See for yourself." He gets all excited because he realizes he isn't a zombie after all, and then goes running out of there at top speed.

22. Bill's up in his bedroom standing by the secret door, when suddenly it opens up and Jeff comes running in. Bill asks him where he's been and Jeff's all, "I just been reincarnated. I just been de-zombified." Bill asks Jeff if he knows what happened to Mac, and Jeff starts telling him something about the graveyard when suddenly they hear a scream coming from down in the secret passage. They both go down to investigate and find Madame Sangre laying dead on the floor. Then the drums start up. They follow the sounds of the drums to the ceremony area where Barbara and the admiral are kneeling on opposite sides of something on the ground, and facing each other. Hey! Music...costumes...singing...dancing...it's a party! Wanna see? Well here ya go!


See? I told you Momba was a party animal!


And here we have Dr. Sangre in one of his many freaky deaky gay European porn flicks.


Tahama is the belle of the ball in her feathered hat and daringly bold cape.

 

23. Outside the chamber, Bill and Jeff are trying to get in, but the door won't budge. He asks Jeff if he can remember how he got in. Jeff leans up against the door. and suddenly it opens. They go in and the ceremony is going on full bore with singing and dancing and what not. They do a pan across the zombies, and I caught a glimpse of this one and I started bustin' up. So for your amusement...

 


Doesn't this zombie look like he just got an anal probe or somethin'?
Is that an anal probe face or what?

 

Ok, now that we've had our moment of zombie levity, let's get on with the party! Mac is standing next to the anal probe zombie by the way. Tahama is getting in Barbara's face now and asking her what her name is. She says her name is Admiral Wainwright. Dr. Sangre comes down and asks her why she came to the island. Basically, they put his thoughts into her and vice versa so they could get the answers they wanted out of her. Just as she's about to answer, Mombo stops everything. He says there are unbelievers there, and Dr. Sangre tells the zombies to get them. So led by the Mac Zombie, (I'll try to avoid making a McDonalds value meal joke here. Oh wait, I just did.) the whole gang of zombies starts walking towards Bill and Jeff. Bill calls to Mac and tells him it's his ol' pal Bill and then he tells him to turn back. Mac turns towards Dr. Sangre, and all the other zombies turn with him. They start walking towards the doctor and he freaks and starts backing away. He shoots Mac like three times but the zombies just keep coming. Finally Dr. Sangre falls backwards into a fire pit and meets his doom.

 

24. So we come to the conclusion now. The admiral calls for a coast guard ship to come pick them up. He asks Bill how his friend is doing, and he says that the bullets didn't help him any and he'll need some patching up when that coast guard ship gets there, but other than that he's rarin' to go. Now I personally don't know how rarin' to go I'd be if I had just been slammed with three bullets, but that's just me. Maybe I'm just a wuss or somethin'. Bill asks the admiral how the doctor got him down there on the island. He says that the doctor lured them there with a false radio signal. Then he killed the crew and tortured him to get the information out of him about the allied canal zone fortification. Apparently, his wife Alyce was the first one he tried the ceremony on, and that's how she ended up the way she did. Anyway, the movie's over now. I had fun, and I hope you did too.




Best Quote

Bill: "When a man's dead he's dead."
Jeff: "Well supposin' he's dead and don't know it?"


- Bill basically telling Jeff and Mac they're crazy for believing in zombies. - (Reviewer's Note: If someone's dead and they don't know that they're dead, then I guess that would make them dead ignorant now wouldn't it? Yeah, I know...that was bad. Gimme a break, I haven't been sleeping well lately. In fact, I've been walking around here like a zombie. I'm so tired half the time, I feel like the walking dead. I've been having gastric problems too. Why, the other day I farted and my wife said that it smelled like something dead. *ba dum bump* I got a million of 'em!)

 


 

Samantha: "Have another piece of pie honey lamb?"
Jeff: "I already had two."
Samantha: "You already had six. But does you want another one?"
Jeff: "Well if you insist."
Samantha: "Boy, you's the most pious man I ever did see."
Jeff: "Ain't it the truth."

- Samantha asking Jeff if he wants to eat some more of her pie. - (Reviewer's Note: After six times, you wouldn't think she'd have the energy to offer again.)

 


 

"If there's one thing I wouldn't wanna be twice...zombies is both of 'em."

- Jeff's final line right at the end of the movie. - (Reviewer's Note: Amen to that brother.)




Video Clip
When prompted, enter bmovie for the username and central for the password.

King of the Zombies
Samantha tells Jeff all about potions and zombies and all that nifty kinda stuff right there.



The Conclusion

Oh man, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get this one out. I know it's been a bit over a month since my last review, but there's been a lot of things keeping me from getting this one done in time. Fortunately however, it's done now and let me say that it's been a blast. I've had a lot of fun doing this review.

So let me start this thing off by saying that most of the funny lines in this film came from the incomparable Mantan Moreland who did a spectacular job of playing the ever-frightened Jeff. One question I find myself left with after watching this film is how the hell did Samantha end up on that island working for Dr. Sangre? I mean, she worked for him, but only as a maid. She wasn't helping him with his evil plans or anything like that, so how did she end up there? That whole thing didn't make a while lot of sense, but looking back on it now, I realize that it really doesn't matter at all. Even though the character seemed a little out of place, Marguerite Whitten managed to pull off the role and make it almost feel as though the film would be missing some sort of a key element if it were deprived of her presence.

One thing that was really nice about this movie was the lack of any dumb or overly irritating characters. Well Dr. Sangre was a little dumb for not killing Bill, Mac and Jeff when they first got to the island, but aside from that everyone acted pretty logically and in general, no one was being even the least bit irritating. I've seen so many movies with characters that were just flat out annoying, but I'm pleased to say that this movie managed to avoid the presence of any such characters completely. This movie was well acted, well scripted, and the casting was great. It flowed well without any really dull or boring moments to speak of and it leaves you feeling good at the end instead of leaving you feeling like you just wasted sixty-seven minutes of your life. The best part is, it's the kind of a movie that you don't really have to think about while you're watching it. You just watch it and enjoy it and there's no twisted subplots or any of that other junk that makes your brain work overtime to process it all. It's just simple, clean, good ol' fashioned fun. And unlike most of the other zombie movies out there, you can watch this one with the whole family.

Before I finish up this review, I'd like to mention the transfer quality on the DVD. The transfer quality isn't all that great, and the sound is just a little bit muddy in parts. I wish they would have either found a better print to do the transfer from, or spent some time cleaning up the one they had. This DVD was released by Alpha Video, and when you pay $7.99 for a DVD, I guess you can't be too picky, but still, anything worth doing is worth doing well. To be fair, the transfer isn't horribly bad and it's entirely watchable. I've certainly seen a heck of a lot worse in my time.

Overall, this is just a really fun movie that any fan of classic cinema would enjoy, and I'm very happy to give it...

B-Movie Central's Rating: 5 Bees!

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Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (10/10) - The second Harry Potter film, it was darker and more violent than the first, which I actually enjoyed very much despite all those whining people who said it was too scary for little kids. My answer to them: So what? I watched tons of scary movies when I was a kid. If you can't take the time to make your kids understand that movies are just supposed to be fun and that they aren't real, then you shouldn't be taking your kids to the movies.
Big Trouble In Little China (9/10) - This was only about the 20th time I've seen this movie. We did it for a Rogues IRC Movie Gathering and I must say that even after all this time, I still have a lot of fun watching this film. Basically, this ancient Chinese wizard guy who's been cursed has to marry a chinese girl with green eyes and then kill her to break the curse. There's probably not many people out there who haven't seen or don't know about this film.

Junk (7.5/10) - Junk is a gory Japanese Zombie Movie with plot holes you could drive a truck through. But it was fun and entertaining, and that's why I gave it a higher score than it probably deserved.

Porn Star - The Legend of Ron Jeremy (10/10) - Now this one was just fun. It's a very interesting and humorous documentary on the life and career of Ron Jeremy. There's quite a few surprises in this one, and anyone who likes Ron Jeremy will really enjoy this film.
Ernest Scared Stupid (2/10) - Now I kinda like Ernest, but this movie was just dumb. The kids were pathetic and whoever wrote the dialogue for them needs to realize...kids don't talk like that. The only cool thing about this movie was the monsters, which were designed and created by the same guys who designed the klowns in Killer Klowns From Outer Space. Just to be fair, Eartha Kitt did a great job playing a creepy old witch / voodoo type woman in this film.
Daimajin (9.5/10) - I had actually never heard of Daimajin before I got this box set of all three films. Daimajin is a kaiju film with a giant samurai warrior god that had been imprisoned in a huge stone statue by the god that the people worshipped. I guess it's because he's so damned ugly. Anyway, he's called forth to exact revenge on an evil lord who's conquered the land and enslaved it's people. The production values in this film were first rate. Everything from story to acting was excellent and the only reason I knocked off a half point on this one was because we didn't get to see the real Daimajin until the end of the movie.
The Story of Ricky (9.5/10) - Very fun and extremely gory kung fu flick that is very well known among the B-Movie set. The gore is excessive and often funny and the whole movie is quite enjoyable. Basically, Ricky is kinda like a kung fu superhero who got put in prison for killing the gangster that caused the death of his girlfriend. How do I know he's a superhero? Well he took five bullets without flinching and when his tendons were cut in his arm, he tied them off and got his arm working again. How cool is that?
Porky's (9.5/10) - I first saw this movie along with Zapped! at a birthday party when I was ten years old. It was funny then and it's funny now. This movie has about three or four of the funniest scenes ever put on film, and no matter how many times I see it, I really enjoy it. The only problem with this movie is that it had some darker, more dramatic aspects to it that kinda didn't fit in with the whole 50's high school sex comedy. But seeing Kim Cattrall in a sexy leotard with a sexy little skirt makes you forget all about it. In fact, if you can see her lookin' like that and still remember your own name, I'd be surprised.

Unseen Things: Origins



My series of contemporary fantasy / sci-fi novels, Unseen Things is now available through the official website, Amazon, Smashwords and other online retail sites.

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