In the Year 2889

Year Of Release: 1967
Running Time: 80 Minutes
DVD Released By: Retromedia
Directed By: Larry Buchanan
Writing Credits: Harold Hoffman, Lou Rusoff (story - uncredited)
Filming Location: Dallas, Texas

Starring: Paul Petersen (Steve), Quinn O'Hara (Jada), Charla Doherty (Joanna), Ramsey Neil Fletcher (Captain John Ramsey), Hugh Feagin (Mickey Brown), Max W. Anderson (Granger), Bill Thurman (Tim Henderson), Byron Lord (Mutant)

Tagline: I was unable to locate any taglines for this film.

Alternate Titles:
2889
Year 2889

Interesting Bits of Trivia:
Larry Buchanan was given the script for Day the World Ended (1956) by AIP to use while making this film. Rather than making anything original, Buchanan made an almost line for line remake. This film was used to pad out an AIP television syndication deal.

Rogue Reviewers Round Table Review: April 2005
Review Topic: "The Fecal Film Festival"




Cast of Characters

Steve: I don't know where this guy was hiding them, but he kept pulling out cigarettes every now and then. He didn't have nothing with him except his messed up brother Granger when he got there. I dunno...maybe they had them at the house already. It's just one of those things that gnaws at me because it's so mysterious and unexplained. Cripes, that's gonna keep me laying awake tonight thinking about it. Anyway, there's nothing really interesting to say about him. He's the good guy and falls in love with Joanna. Whoopie, huh?

Joanna Ramsey: She's your typical bleeding heart liberal. Every radiation infested idiot that shows up at the door, she takes them right in despite her father's objections. Next thing you know she'll be forming up a commune and it'll be free love for everyone. Hey, here's a sick thought. What if it was just her and her dad left and they had to re-populate the human race? I can see that conversation...

John: "Come on baby, daddy knows best."
Joanna: "No daddy! Don't touch me there!"

Yes I know, I'm sick. But that's what makes me so damn lovable!

Captain John Ramsey: He had this whole plan worked out where he and his daughter and her fiance would all go to this house in this valley surrounded by mountains filled with lead ore and enough rations for three months. Then his whole plan totally falls apart as people keep showing up at their door one after another wanting shelter. Naturally his idiot daughter takes them all in and blows everything all to hell. He used to be a ship's captain in the navy, so he's trying to run a tight ship in the house as well, but everyone's such a total pain, he has a hard time. The biggest thing I can't figure out is why he made all these plans and had generators and a big house and supplies and everything...and yet he only had three months worth of food. That didn't make much sense. At least he had the forethought to store up a lot of different fruit and vegetable seeds and books on every known subject. Too bad he didn't bring along a book on how to act, because his line delivery was atrocious.

Mickey Brown: What's the first word that pops into your head when you see this guy? Let me guess...ummmmmmm...dork? Hey I'm psychic! Yes, he is a dork. He's pretty worthless too. He showed up at the Ramsey house with Jada, and he was nothing but a pain from the time he got there. He's also under the misapprehension that there's still a Los Angeles and that he needs to get back there because he's got some sweet deals cookin' there. Now they told him there wasn't any Los Angeles anymore, but if they had been smart, they'd have given him a map and sent him on his way.

Jada: She's a stripper and an alcoholic. What the hell more could you want? Well apparently Mickey thought the grass was greener on Joanna's side, because he killed Jada when she kept interfering with his efforts at scoring with her. See, Jada and Mickey were an item, and he was her manager as well, but I guess he decided it was time to terminate their contract because he drown her in the pool. One of the last two breeding females on earth, and he drowns her. What a brainchild that guy is huh?

Tim Henderson: This poor schmuck. I feel totally sorry for him. He not only had to play a drunken mountain guy in this film, but he had to play a wife beating mountain man psycho in the other Larry Buchanan turd on this disc called It's Alive!. Not much to say about him because he didn't really do much except hang around and drink. So let's just move on...

Granger: This schmuck is Steve's brother. He got loaded up with enough radiation to kill seven guys, and yet he somehow managed to recover. How? Well the whole becoming a mutant thing probably helped. On top of the whole mutant thing, he's a crappy guest too. He won't eat the food they put in front of him and whines constantly about wanting raw meat. He even went three weeks without eating anything they offered him and snuck out at night to find himself radioactive rabbits and what not to eat. They shoulda put a bullet in this guy's head when he first showed up at the door, but since Joanna is so sappy about caring about the suffering of others, now they're stuck with him...and they all get to suffer.

The Mutant: This is the mutant. You can tell it's the mutant because in bold letters over there on the left it says, "The Mutant". See how he only has one eyeball, and it's all glazed over and marble looking? Notice how the other eyeball is gone completely? So how the hell does it see? And more importantly, how the hell does it eat with them funky teeth? They're not even really close enough together to be all that great for tearing, much less for chewing. You may notice he looks a bit squished. Actually, he is. I put my fingers up to the screen and started making pinching motions with them and said, "I'm pinching your face! I'm pinching your face!" and this is how the picture came out. Actually, I couldn't fit the whole picture in with the size it was so I had to play with the aspect ratio a bit. Truth be told, he looks better like this. Looks kinda like something an old Chinese sorcerer would conjure up.




Screen Shots

 

It's no good duder. Even with super magniscopic telescolopic binoculars you'll never find a good Larry Buchanan movie. And isn't it funny how this movie is supposed to take place in the year 2889, and this guy is dressed like Fred Mertz?

 

"Now listen here you young whipper snapper. I'm an old man and I want pie. Now you go get me some pie right now, or I'm gonna pull out my colostomy bag, hang it from the celing, and use you as a pinata bat."

 

I guess if I got stuck in one of these Larry Buchanan turds, I'd need a good stiff drink too. The bottle didn't really have the x's on it. I just added those in because...well...it was just begging for them.

 

I realize you wouldn't have much time to pack before a nuclear war, but jeez! That dress looks like an old lady's nightgown or something. Actually it looks like something Mrs. Roper would wear to bed on Three's Company, only she'd have a flimsy robe over it with a foofy collar. How the hell are you supposed to repopulate the earth wearing something like that? Wait a minute, she's an idiot. Maybe she should keep it on. We don't want the world repopulated with idiots. There were enough of 'em runnin' around the first time.




Best Quotes

John: "Wait, don't touch him. He's red hot with radio activity."

- John warning his daughter not to touch the funky guy that just fell in through the doorway. - (Reviewer's Note: Notice the lack of exclamation points or anything. Jeez, you'd think these people would be more excitable considering the world just got blown all to hell. The way he said this, you'd think he was telling her to not step in that pile of dog poo on the ground in front of her. Then again, what good would that do? They got themselves in a pile of that stuff neck deep when they signed on to do this picture.)



Tim: "Well I'll tell you one thing. I've taken more baths in the last two months than I have in all my born days."
John: "Maybe that's why you're still alive Tim."
Tim: "Huh?"

- Tim commenting on his personal hygiene. - (Reviewer's Note: Well let me see if I can make this clearer for you Tim. What's he's really saying here is that you smelled like an alcoholic dung heap when you showed up, and if you had continued smelling that way for the last two months, one or all of them would have killed you and left you outside as mutant repellant. Yes folks, there are some things even a mutant won't eat.)




Video Clip
When prompted, enter bmovie for the username and central for the password.

In the Year 2889
If you can stay awake long enough, you'll get to see how ineffective bullets are against these indestructible mutants. Unfortunately for the mutants, they're not so indestructible when it comes to the really dangerous stuff...like rain. Apparently these guys are bulletproof, but not waterproof. Then again, when you make your masks out of paper machet, what can you expect?



Summary and Conclusion

Well now, since this review is being done for the April 2005 Rogue Reviewers Roundtable entitled, "The Fecal Film Festival", I just knew I had to choose a Larry Buchanan film for my entry in the roundtable. Larry's never let me down before, and I knew anything he made would probably get a bat rating from me, so the choice of this movie for this roundtable that focuses on crappy movies was an easy one. To my surprise however, I just can't bring myself to give this film a bat rating. I mean sure it sucked, as is typical of most if not all of his films, but for some reason that I can't really explain, I didn't hate this one quite as much as I expected to..

Now those of you who know of my disdain for any film that has suffered Buchananization, will absolutely be surprised that I'm not burying this film under a steaming pile of bat guano. Why? To be honest, I don't know myself. This film had nothing going for it except a semi-cool looking mutant and some halfway decent acting. Those two things are the only things that brought this movie up out of the bat guano and into the sunlight. As for the rest of it...

The whole idea behind the story was absolutely inane. Basically, there was a nuclear war, and everything and everyone on the earth was blown to bits, except for this one valley that happens to be surrounded by hills that are full of lead ore and also just happens to have a stream running through it that is heated by some underground heat source, thereby creating an updraft that helps keep the radiation out of the valley. Captain John Ramsey built a house there and equipped it with generators and supplies and his big plan was that in case of nuclear war, he and his daughter would take refuge there and then her fiance was to meet them there as quickly as possible. After that they would live off the rations for about three months until the environment cleaned up enough for them to start growing their own food. Now there's a big problem right there. They were going to run out of food around the same time they were going to start growing their own, so unless they got some magic insta-grow formula, they're gonna go hungry for a couple of months while they wait for the vegetables and stuff to grow. Not surprising about the lack of forethought here though considering that none of these people can probably even spell the word cannibalism.

So people start showing up at the house. John wants to send them all away, but "Oh no!" says his bleeding heart daughter, "We can't send them away!" This really ticked off her father, but he went along with it anyway because he didn't have the nads to stand up to her and put his foot down. Now, because Joanna's fiance never showed up, they could have taken in one extra person without any problem. We find out later that he didn't show up because he ended up becoming a mutant and started wandering around in the forbidden zone looking for raw meat... You know what? I'm not even going to get into all this stuff. I was bored watching the movie, I'm doubly bored writing about it, and I'm sure you'd be triply bored reading about it. Suffice it to say, the the story and the dialogue in this film both had some major problems, including some dialogue that was actually repeated almost word for word in a few different scenes because apparently they were so bored in making this film that they forgot they said stuff already.

There are two things I have to mention here before I wrap things up simply because they were so unbelievably stupid. The first is that this movie is called In the Year 2889, and yet every single thing in this movie looks like it's straight out of the year 1967. So where the hell did they get 2889 from? There's something I'm not getting here. The second thing that really bugged me was that these people were living in this house in the mountains. I mean, that's fine. No big deal there. But as was to be expected, they started running out of fresh un-radiated water. But hey, good news! John found a pool of fresh water out by a cliff that's fed by an underground spring! Pretty cool huh! And how convenient is it to suddenly find this pool of fresh, non-radioactive water for them to drink and bathe in and what not just as they were running out of the fresh clean water they had stored up? Not wasting any time, Joanna and Jada head out to this pool of water out by the cliff to take a swim, and the pool turns out to be quite a bit away from the house out through the woods. So they hike on out there, and I'm sitting here expecting to see this swimming hole kind of a thing. Is that what I saw? No! It was a swimming pool! A real freakin' swimming pool! With a diving board!!! What the hell was a swimming pool doing out there in the middle of the woods by a cliff??? And why was it that John didn't know it was there before? Oh man, there's some things in this movie that are just so stupid they make my head hurt...and yet...

For all it's shortcomings, this movie wasn't as intolerable as the other Larry Buchanan films I've reviewed. In fact, I would be inclined to say that it could even be semi-enjoyable if you're watching it with someone and you goof back and forth with them about all the stupid stuff. Oh, and pay particular attention to the post-production voice dubbing. There's a few parts where the words don't match the lips at all. There's one part where Joanna is talking to Steve where it gets particularly bad and starts looking like a kung fu movie. Fortunately, it was only bad in a few spots. The rest of the time it wasn't that noticeable.

This movie is the second feature on this Larry Buchanan double feature DVD from Retromedia. To be honest, this should have been the movie they featured on the disc, because as bad as it is, it's head and shoulders above the movie that was featured, It's Alive!, which you will also find reviewed on this site. Just follow the smell of bat guano and you'll find it. Anyway, There's a lot better movies out there than these, and even though you can probably score this double feature disc really cheap, do so at your own risk. Then again, these movies are great for insomniacs, because they're almost guaranteed to bore you to sleep.

B-Movie Central's Rating: 1 Bee

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