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Two Thousand Maniacs!
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| Cast Of Characters | ||
| Tom White: He was just a school teacher on his way to a teacher's convention who had car trouble and caught a ride from a pretty girl. He had no idea he was gonna end up in a town full of loonies. I mean, why should he? The last town he was in only had one loony, and all he wanted to do was cook up an Egyptian feast. | ![]() |
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| Terry Adams: And here's the pretty girl he got a ride from. I know it's a bad picture of her, but she never really had any good face shots I could grab, so I figured I'd get this one where she's showing all her pretty white teeth. Aren't they pretty? She could have had a great career in toothpaste ads, but instead she chose to do that whole Playboy Playmate of the Month thing in June of 1963 and started appearing in Herschell Gordon Lewis movies. Actually, she only appeared in two of his movies... Actually, now that I think about it, she only appeared in two movies period. Maybe she should have done them toothpaste ads after all? | ![]() |
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| Mayor Buckman: I apologize for this character shot. I had to take it from one of the screenshots below. I think this is the first time I ever had to do that, and I hated doing it, but this big fat jerk just would not look at the damn camera. He bobbed and weaved more than Diana Ross at a DUI checkpoint. This was the only shot I could get of him where he was actually looking towards the camera, so I had to use it. He's the mayor of the town, which you'd think would mean that he's the most obnoxious person in it. Unfortunately, that's far from the case. The two guys below him here both got him beat in that department. | ![]() |
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| Lester McDonnell: Lester's the program chairman of this little shindig they're having, so basically he's the one that's in charge of coming up with creative ways for their yankee guests to die. Unfortunately, two of his ideas went unused since Tom and Terry escaped at the end. Oh well, maybe he can do toothpaste ads as a side job until the next centennial celebration. | ![]() |
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| Rufus Tate: Rufus is the head chairman of the festival, which basically means it was his and Lester's job to steer the yankee guests into town and to make sure everything went right. This guy's about as bright as a 2 watt light bulb, talks like a hillbilly crack addict and looks like he'd be more at home around the back end of a sheep than anywhere else. | ![]() |
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| John Miller: He's the obnoxious yankee. He's married to Bea, but all he does is try to score with other women all the time. Unfortunately, that led him to be easily distracted by the town floozy, which ultimately led to him being separated into five different pieces after being tied to four different horses. Basically he was a jerk and I hope the horses pooped on what was left. | ![]() |
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| Bea Miller: This is John's wife and not a bad lookin' dame. She wasn't as obnoxious as John...at least she wasn't until Harper cut her thumb off. Then she got real obnoxious. Hell, I was happy when they killed her just so she'd stop screamin'. Anyway, the whole thing came about because Harper led her off into the countryside to make out with her, with the whole intention being that he would mess her up, get her back to town, and then they'd kill her and cook her up that night at the barbeque. If her and John had just stuck with each other instead if letting themselves be led around by their glands, they might have still been alive at the end of the movie. | ![]() |
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| David Wells: He's the nerdy yankee. They played roll out the barrel with him, only before they rolled him down the hill in the barrel, they drove a bunch of nails through it. I can't say I was sorry to see him bite it though. He was a nerdy dork, and he had a hot wife who was totally wasted on a dork like him. | ![]() |
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| Beverly Wells: She's the nerdy dork's wife, and man she was hot. I know it's hard to tell in this picture, but she was just incredibly beautiful. At least she was before they tied her down and dropped a big ol' rock on her. After that, she kinda lost some of her appeal. | ![]() |
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| Harper: He's a big dumb southern dork, but between he and Betsy, they manage to work the yankees into vulnerable positions so they can be manipulated and killed easily. He's really not all that great looking, so I'm kinda surprised someone as attractive as Bea was led astray by him. Oh well. Look who her husband was. There's no accounting for taste. | ![]() |
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| Betsy Gunther: She's the town floozy, and she wore the same dress all the time. Granted the movie only really went for two days of movie time, but still, you'd think she'd have changed her clothes. Anyway, it was her job to come on to John and to drag david off to the barrel roll. Other than that, all she really did was hang around lookin' freaky and actin' slutty. | ![]() |
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| Billy: This bratty little turd needs a good butt whupin'. He wasn't in the movie all that much really, but I had to put him in here because he was probably the biggest spoiled brat little bitch I've ever seen in a movie. I figured anyone that annoying was worth a mention in my character section. | ![]() |
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| Screen Shots | |
| "What the hell did you hit now? Damn women drivers..." | ![]() |
| It's really hard to find pretty girls to be the town floozy nowadays. I guess you gotta take what you can get. See that guy behind her? You can tell by that look on his face...he's been floozy-ized. | ![]() |
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"Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!" Note to the mayor: It didn't work for Howard Dean |
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"Jeez I'm sorry honey. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. Maybe I'm just tired." |
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"Why shucks mayor. You knows I done |
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| Best Quote |
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"We're celebratin' somethin' that happened over a hundred years ago. It's a big deal around here, and part of the ceremony is that we get us some strangers from up north. Ya get everythin' free. It's an honor damn it!"
"We got us some Good 'uns! Dawged if we don't!" |
| Video Clip When prompted, enter bmovie for the username and central for the password. |
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Two Thousand Maniacs
Lester, unable to listen to Bea's obnoxious screaming any longer, takes matters into his own hands.
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| Summary and Conclusion | |
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I love Herschell Gordon Lewis movies, and this one was no exception, but I have to say that this one didn't really meet up to Blood Feast standards. Two Thousand Maniacs! is the second film is Herschell Gordon Lewis' Blood Trilogy, and yet it came up lacking when compared to it's earlier predecessor.
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