Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine

Year Of Release: 1965
Running Time: 89 Minutes
DVD Released By: MGM
Directed By: Norman Taurog
Writing Credits: Robert Kaufman, James H. Nicholson, Elwood Ullman
Filming Location: San Francisco, California and the San Francisco International Airport, San Francisco, California

Starring: Vincent Price, Frankie Avalon, Dwayne Hickman, Susan Hart, Jack Mullaney, Fred Clark, Patti Chandler, Mary Hughes, Salli Sachse, Luri Holmes, Sue Hamilton, Laura Nicholson, Marianne Gabba, China Lee, Issa Amal

Tagline 1: Super sexbots...built to kill!

Tagline 2: Cuddly...Curvesome...and Deadly

Alternate Titles:
Dr. G and the Bikini Machine (1965) (UK)

Interesting Bits of Trivia:
Although as of this writing there is only one Dr. Goldfoot movie available here in the US on DVD, Vincent Price actually starred as the evil doctor in three of these films. Each film had a different director. This was the first film of the three. The second film was made in the same year for television and was released just twelve days after the first. The third film was made and released the following year. The odd thing about the third film is that it was made mostly at a studio in Italy and was directed by the famous Italian horror director Mario Bava. The movie was released with the Italian title of Spie vengono dal semifreddo, but was released in the US with no less than seven different titles.




Cast Of Characters
Dr. Goldfoot: This guy is just a creep. He's making these drop dead beautiful robot women and sending them out to catch themselves rich men so they can marry them and steal all their money. They call him Dr. Goldfoot because he wears these gold genie slippers when he's hangin' around the ol' mortuary where he has his secret hideout. Oddly enough, he does have one redeeming quality. He looks an awful lot like Vincent Price.

Craig Gamble: Funny how a lot of the people in this movie look like other famous people. This guy Craig looks just like Frankie Avalon. Anyway, Craig works for his uncle at the Secret Intelligence Command, or SIC for short. In fact, he keeps telling everyone how he's a SIC man. Anyway, he meets up with Diane in a cafeteria and ends up getting dragged into this whole robot caper of Dr. Goldfoot's. He spends most of his time in the movie acting goofy, making faces, and thinking with his weiner. All in all though, he's a really good guy.

Todd Armstrong: Now here's another weiner thinker that might look familiar to you fans of old television shows. Dwayne Hickman played Dobie Gillis on "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis" from 1959-1963. He also starred in the movie Ski Party in 1965 playing a character named Craig Gamble. This is really funny because Frankie Avalon starred in that same movie playing a character named Todd Armstrong. Isn't it funny the little goofy stuff you come across in a film like this? Anyway, Todd is a rich guy who's the target of Robot #11, also known as Diane. She gets him drunk, gets him to marry her, and then steals a bunch of his money. A lot like most women really. Fortunately Craig gives him the lowdown on Dr. Goldfoot and his robots and together they try to put a stop to it.

Robot #11 (Diane): This girl is so phenomenally beautiful there aren't even words to describe it. She's by far the best looking of all of Dr. Goldfoot's robots, and judging from her performance in this film, she's probably the most talented as well. Her real name is Susan Hart and she also appeared in another film I reviewed called The Slime People. That film came out three years before this one, and not only was she not as beautiful in that movie, but she didn't have very good acting skills either. It's amazing what three years can do. Not only was she unbelievably beautiful in this film, but her acting skills were top notch.

Igor: This dork is Dr. Goldfoot's assistant Igor. Igor used to be dead, but then Dr. Goldfoot brought him back to life to work as his assistant. Unfortunately, death once more caught up with our bumbling friend, as the actor who played this part, Jack Mullaney, died in June of 1982. Basically Igor is one of those people who's about as bright as a fifteen watt light bulb. He tries to please Dr. Goldfoot, but all he ever does is mess things up. Dr. Goldfoot should have sent him to work for SIC. He'd have fit right in there if Craig was any indication of the people they got working for them.

Donald J. Penny: This guy is Craig's uncle and the head of the west coast branch of the Secret Intelligence Command. He don't think much of his nephew, and more often than not ends up being on the receiving end of Craig's slapstick routines. Oddly enough, the guy who played this part, Fred Clark, appeared in another movie in 1962 called Boys Night Out. I mention this because Susan Hart had her first film appearance in that movie in an uncredited bit part. Funny how life's little twists and turns seem to converge at the same spot now and then isn't it?




Screen Shots


When kissing a beautiful girl, it's probably a good idea to at least try to get your aim right. I mean, look at this picture. She's kissing his upper lip where god knows how many boogers have made themselves at home, and he's kissing her bottom lip where there's not much chance of any tongue action. I guess she could do some tongue action on his upper lip, but that would just be disgusting.


There's three really funny things about this picture. The look on her face, the look on his face, and the fact that you can't see what his hands are doing. Actually, Dr. Goldfoot just contacted her with his remote control radio thingy and told her that she was with the wrong guy.


"Bad dog! BAD!!!"

 


"Oh my god! You've got a booger on your nose! Look, it's right there! Get rid of it! Get rid of it!!!"


"I'm pretty ssshures I kin drive. Here, sheck my breath?"


"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"


I just love cameos, don't you?

 


Speaking of cameos... Jeez, isn't there anyone left on the beach?

 


Todd and Craig hopped on this little mini scooter during the chase scene with Dr. Goldfoot. Apparently it was a magic mini scooter, because both they and the bike shrunk when they got on it. I mean, take a look at them and then take a look at the size of the car behind them. Something's just not right here.

 




Best Quote

Diane: "Aren't you nice? I declare. There's somethin' about you that makes my little ol' heart go flippity flippity. It's amazin'!"
Craig: "And you're amazing. Mind if I sit down?"
Diane: "Reckon I'd swoon if you would...Mr. Armstrong."

- This was part of the first little interaction between Diane and Craig at the cafeteria. - (Reviewer's Note: First she drinks his milk, then she eats his sandwich, and then she talks to him like Colonel Sanders hot granddaughter and he got suckered into it hook line and sinker. Seems like everyone who meets her instantly becomes horny and retarded.)



 

Video Clip
When prompted, enter bmovie for the username and central for the password.

Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine
Dr. Goldfoot gives his girls something to get rid of any wives or girlfriends they might come across.



Summary and Conclusion

I've been saving this movie for a while now, because I wanted to review it for a special occasion. The special occasion I'm reviewing this film for is B-Movie Central's 2nd anniversary. Unfortunately, some hardware issues caused me to not be able to post this review on my anniversary as originally planned, but nevertheless, here it is.
I've always been a huge fan of Vincent Price. No one I've ever seen could sink he teeth into a role like this man could. No matter what the roll calls for, Vincent Price always made you believe he was character he was portraying, and he always managed to bring a lot of good ol' cheesy fun to it as well. This Dr. Goldfoot character in particular though is probably the cheesiest I've ever seen Vincent Price, and I loved ever last second of it. The great thing about it is that not only did this film magnify the cheese factor of Vincent Price, but it did so for all of the other characters as well, making for a really fun viewing experience.

The film basically goes like this. Dr. Goldfoot has a secret hideout in a mausoleum where he creates super sexy robots with his bikini machine. Then, he and his bumbling assistant Igor, program the robots with whatever knowledge and experience would endear them to their intended targets. The goal is for the robot women to get the men to marry them, and then once married, they will get the men to sign over all their assets to them so that they can then sign them over to Dr. Goldfoot. Robot #11, also known as Diane, has been sent to hook herself up with Todd Gamble. Unfortunately, Igor steers her the wrong way and she ends up hooking up with Craig Gamble instead. When Dr. Goldfoot discovers the mistake, he gets her away from Craig, and steers her into a "chance" encounter with Todd Armstrong. She ends up marrying Todd and getting him to sign over his stock to her, but unfortunately, she forgets the power of attorney. Craig and Todd eventually get together after Craig discovers what Dr. Goldfoot is up to and Craig tells him that Diane is really a robot out to get his money. Together Craig and Todd then go after Dr. Goldfoot in an effort to stop his evil plans.

The great thing about this film is that it plays out like a cartoon. Everything about it is pure cheese and as you watch it you realize that there's absolutely nothing in it that can be taken seriously. That's why it's fun, and that's why it all came together so nicely. You can tell that whoever wrote this movie wasn't out to write a straight up comedy. They just wanted to write something goofy that people could have fun with. There were a lot of things in the movie where they made fun of the actors' previous roles as well. One of the best examples of this is when Dr. Goldfoot has Todd down in his torture chamber strapped to a table and they do this whole "The Pit and the Pendulum" routine that was just awesome. For those of you that aren't overly familiar with Vincent Price, he appeared in a lot of films based on the tales of Edgar Allan Poe, and The Pit and the Pendulum was one of them.

Frankie Avalon and Dwayne Hickman played off of each other great in this film. In fact, they played off of each other so well that you almost got the feeling they may have been separated at birth. I think a large part of this was due to the fact that they had been in films together before, but it was also because this movie gave them, and everyone else in it a chance to just be goofy, and they took that opportunity and ran with it.
Susan Hart was just phenomenal as the unbelievably beautiful Diane. The roll called for her to do a variety of accents and even some different languages. Sometimes she was called upon to act robotic, and other times she had to act sensual and flirty. She did everything she was asked to do, and she did it all to perfection. I don't think they could have found anyone more perfect to play this role than Susan Hart.

The quality of this DVD is great. The sound is really good and the picture quality is excellent aside from an artifact here and there. The movie was shot in ultra widescreen, as you can tell from the screen shots and the video clip. You can see I had to do the screenshots a little differently than I usually do them because the movie was done in 2.35 to 1 widescreen and the screenshots I was getting were extra wide.

So what can I say? This is one of my all time favorite Vincent Price movies, and everything about it was great. The cast really took this film and turned it into something special, and no matter how many times I watch it, I enjoy it every bit as much as I did the first time. Vincent Price takes cheese to a whole other level in this movie, and based on his performance alone I could give it five bees. The other actors each added something great to the film as well though, and when you factor it all together, I basically end up wishing I could give it more than five bees, but since five bees is my highest rating, that's what I'm giving it. If you're a fan of Vincent Price or of cheesy movies in general, then do yourself a favor and pick this one up just as soon as possible. You'll be glad you did.

B-Movie Central's Rating: 5 Bees!

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