Color Me Blood Red

Year Of Release: 1965
Running Time: 79 Minutes
DVD Released By: Something Weird Video
Directed By: Herschell Gordon Lewis
Writing Credits: Herschell Gordon Lewis
Filming Locations: Sarasota, Florida

Starring: Gordon Oas-Heim (Adam Sorg), Candi Conder (April Carter), Elyn Warner (Gigi), Pat Lee (Sydney), Jerome Eden (Rolf), Scott H. Hall (Farnsworth), James Jackel (Jack), Iris Marshall (Mrs. Carter), William Harris (Gregorovich), Cathy Collins (Mitzi)

Tagline 1: Fiendish is the word for it!

Tagline 2:
A Blood-Splattered Study in the Macabre. It Will Leave You AGHAST!

Tagline 3: The Newest Trend in Art is Type O Negative!

Tagline 4: A Blood-Splattered Study in the Macabre

Tagline 5: Drenched in CRIMSON COLOR

Alternate Titles:
Color Me Red (USA) (working title)
Model Massacre

Interesting Bits of Trivia:
Gordon Oas-Heim only appeared in seven films, none of which are of any note aside from Color Me Blood Red. He did however make three notable television appearances. In 1979, he made an appearance as Mr. Hanlon in episode #2.14 of Different Strokes entitled "Hot Watch". Then in 1981, he made an appearance in the show CHiPS playing a character named Garfield in episode #5.1 entitled "Suicide Stunt". Finally. in 1987, Gordon played Manfred the Butler in the short-lived television series, New Monkees. Candi Conder only appeared in one other film aside from this one. You may recognize her as the switchboard operator from the second film in the Blood Trilogy, Two Thousand Maniacs!. Sadly, this is the only film Elyn Warner ever appeared in. Sadly, many of Herschell Gordon Lewis' actors had limited film careers despite the fact that many of them were obviously talented enough to have had great careers in these types of genre films.

 

 




Cast of Characters

Adam Sorg: Think of the weirdest guy you know, and then take away about 90% of his personality and you have Adam Sorg. He's a commercially successful artist, but there's an art critic named Gregorovich who doesn't think too much of his work and thinks his use of color is just bland. So after a happy little accident where Gigi got some blood on one of his canvases, he discovered that blood red is a really sweet color and is just what he's been looking for. Unfortunately, trying to get enough to use out of a cut in a finger just don't work. I bet you can figure out what he started doing to get more, now can't you?

Gigi: She was Adam's girlfriend slash fiance slash bane of his existence. He loved her I guess in whatever way he could love someone, but they had a really tumultuous relationship and she was always naggin' on him. She got the honor of starring in his first bloody masterpiece after he stabbed her in the head with a letter opener. Honestly, I would think that would be preferable to actually being in a relationship with someone like him, so she probably got off easy.

April Carter: April is Mrs. Carter's daughter and Rolf's girlfriend. She's also an idiot that can't seem to hold her head still for two seconds so I can get a decent screenshot of her. Anyway, her only real part in this movie is to walk around in a bikini that looks like something your grandma would wear and to be Adam's final attempt at yet another masterpiece. Basically she's kinda prudish and annoying, which is why I was so disappointed that Rolf saved her at the end.

Rolf: This Mickey Mouse Club lookin' dork is April's boyfriend Rolf. He's about as sharp as a wet toilet paper roll, but somehow he managed to stumble into Adam's house at the end of the movie to save April and kill Adam. Ok, that's enough about him. He's not interesting enough to spend any more time on.

Mrs. Carter: This is April's mom. She loves Adam's work and basically has no trouble throwing away thousands of dollars on it. And, uh...that's about it. Nothing more to say about her really other than that she's about as ditzy as her idiot daughter.
Mr. Farnsworth: This is the gallery owner. He wasn't in it all that much, but he was the guy who was setting up Adam's shows and trying to sell his stuff for him through the gallery. He's got all the personality of rock sitting on a lump and again, really doesn't deserve any more of my time.



Screen Shots

 

This painting could have been a movie poster for a cheap 60's b-movie. Maybe something like African Cat People From Planet X or some such thing. This is the kind of painting a smart-alec would hang up at a drug rehab center just to freak out all the junkies.

 

Flintstones...meet the Flintstones...

 

Pinch and tilt man! Pinch and tilt! Maybe now you'll learn to keep your fingers out of it!

 

 

This bull in this painting looks surprised. I guess I'd be surprised too if I was a bull and I suddenly realized that some idiot painted me with an udder. Actually though, come to think of it, after the initial shock wore off, that would actually be pretty cool. If I had an udder, I'd never leave the house. I'd just sit around milking myself all day.

 

"Oooooh no! I told you before, I'm not givin' you any more lovin' until you shave that monkey off your belly. Now go find yourself a razor or a sharpened clam shell or something and get rid of that fuzz on your gut. It's givin' me the creeps!"

 

Ok tough guy, now prove you're a real man. Put the next one out on your tongue.

 

That's what happens when you try to shave in a hurry. Damn picky women. I mean, so what if he had a monkey on his belly? When you love someone, you're supposed to overlook stuff like that.

 

Man, that's one seriously mean case of pit stank. And she was bitchin' about that poor guy's belly monkey?. Sheesh! Get this woman some deodorant quick!

 

Oh, and some tampons too. Preferably some of those thicker, heavy flow day ones.




Best Quotes

Adam: "Gigi! I've told you before I don't want to be disturbed when I'm working."
Gigi: "If I ever quit disturbing you you'd probably never change your socks again."
Adam: "So big deal. I can always paint socks on my feet."
Gigi: "You know, if we ever get married, the first thing I'd like to do is get a divorce."

- Gigi disrupting Adam as he's in the middle of throwing a hissy fit because he's trying to paint a new picture, but he just can't seem to get the right color red. - (Reviewer's Note: Man, I can understand why he'd want to paint the walls with this chick's blood. First she comes in and interrupts him and then she starts flappin' her lips and bein' all nasty. Personally, I'd have told her to shut her pie hole, but I guess I'm not smart like Adam. Telling a woman like this to shut her pie hole would only get her lips flappin' more. Adam's method insures hours upon hours of blissful silence.)



 

Video Clip
When prompted, enter bmovie for the username and central for the password.

Color Me Blood Red
Adam goes off on some inane rant until Rolf finally gets tired of it and in an amazing feat of coordination, falls backward onto the couch and shoots him in the face. The absolute best part of this is a line that you could only hear in a Herschell Gordon Lewis movie. It comes at the end of this clip when April's friend Sydney says something absolutely hilarious.



Summary and Conclusion

I've reviewed the other two films in Herschell Gordon Lewis' Blood Trilogy, so I thought it was about time I reviewed this one so I could finish it up. The first film in the trilogy, Blood Feast, is one of my all time favorite movies. The second movie, Two Thousand Maniacs, wasn't anywhere near as good as Blood Feast, but it was still pretty good. That brings us now to this film, which again, wasn't anywhere near as good as the previous one. But where did it go wrong? Well, I'll tell you...

This movie had two major problems that kept it from being really good, and a couple of smaller problems as well. The two big problems were lack of gore and really poor pacing.

What do you watch a Herschell Gordon Lewis movie for? Right. Doofy characters, and lots and some awesomely cheesy gore. Well, this film certainly had it's share of doofy characters, but the gore was really lacking. There were only a few scenes with any semi-decent level of gore, and even those weren't all that spectacular. I think disappointing would be the most appropriate word to describe it. Then there was the pacing. I can't tell you how many times I fast forwarded through big parts of this movie where people were traveling from one place to another or just doing something or other that was completely unimportant. At seventy-nine minutes, this movie ended up being at least twenty minutes too long. There could have been more murders and more artwork thrown into all that wasted time, and in doing so, would have made this movie so much better than it was.

The minor problems I mentioned mostly come down to characterization. By the end of the movie, I still didn't really catch on to who everyone was because their names weren't used all that much, and when they were used, they either weren't spoken all that clearly or the sound was kinda dulled and it made it hard to pick up. The other problem is that there weren't enough victims and not enough building of the individual characters. Like April and Rolf's friend Jack and Sydney were basically just side characters that didn't really have any place in the movie other than hanging out and acting weird. I gotta tell you though, that line Sydney had at the end of the movie...that made having her character there all worth it. I got a great laugh out of that one.

I'm not sure why the Blood Trilogy started out great and then seemed to go downhill from there. It's sad that it did, but then again, even at his worst, Herschell Gordon Lewis' movies are still entertaining and have their own special brand of cheesy charm that make them totally worth the experience. I'm giving this movie two bees. Partly because of the problems, and partly because because I know it could have been so much better. Herschell's movies, for better or for worse, are always fun on at least one level or another and shouldn't be missed. I guess the big thing when you're going to watch this movie is to not come into it with your expectations set too high. I know it's hard not to after seeing the brilliance that was Blood Feast, but if you come into it not expecting much, you'll have a lot more fun with it than you would if you came into it expecting the next Blood Feast, which unfortunately has never been, nor ever will be matched for pure gory awesomeness and fun.

B-Movie Central's Rating: 2 Bees

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