Carnival of Blood

Year Of Release: 1970
Running Time: 89 Minutes
DVD Released By: Something Weird Video
Directed By: Leonard Kirtman
Writing Credits: Leonard Kirtman
Filming Location: Coney Island, Brooklyn, New York City, New York

Starring: Earle Edgerton, Judith Resnick, Martin Balorski, Burt Young, Kaly Mills, Gloria Spivak, Linda Kurtz, William Grinnell

Tagline 1: Terror strikes the carnival!

Tagline 2: A horrifying creep show!

Tagline 3: Finally, amusement parks for homicidal maniacs!

Alternate Titles:
Death Rides a Carousel (1970)

Interesting Bits of Trivia:
Kaly Mills, who played the Fortune Teller, hasn't appeared in any other films.
Earle Edgerton, who played Tom, is only credited with roles in two films. The other film he appeared in was called Fleshpot on 42nd Street.

 

Rogue Reviewers Round Table Review: October 2002
Review Topic: "Shocktoberfest"

 




Cast Of Characters
Dan: I swear I tried to get a better screenshot of Dan but there just wasn't one to be had. They never give a close up of him probably because he looks like one of the Monkees, and they were afraid of getting sued or something. Dan's just gotten a promotion to assistant district attorney and he's very eager to solve the murders that have been happening down at the carnival on Coney Island. He's engaged to Laura which in and of itself is enough to drive anyone to kill. I'm surprised he didn't turn out to be the murderer.

Laura: Oh my god! Very rarely do you ever get to see such a selfish, self-centered, beeotch in a movie. I absolutely guarantee that after about the first five or ten minutes of this movie, you'll find yourself praying for her to be murdered. Laura is Dan's fiance and an aspiring artist. You can tell she's an aspiring artist, because she spends a good part of the movie walking around in nothing but a smock. Her artistic endeavors are about as irritating as her personality however, and at one point, she even defaces a poor defenseless stuffed animal. Now how cold is that?

Tom: Looks innocent enough don't he? This is Tom. He runs the game booth at the carnival where you have to pop balloons with darts. Almost looks like he could be some sort of a creepy and demented parallel universe Mr. Rogers or something, doesn't he?

Gimpy The Hunchback: On the off chance you don't recognize this handsome fellow, his name is Burt Young. He played Paulie in the Rocky movies and Rodney Dangerfield's driver/bodyguard in Back to School. He's got a lot of problems in this movie. Not only is he a hunchback, but he's semi-retarded, and he's got a real nasty skin condition on his face that looks like he was burned with hot oil or something. He cleans the balloon pop booth for Tom and helps him with the customers. He doesn't seem overly customer service oriented though considering that he spends most of his time arguing with and generally being abusive to the customers. Not that they don't deserve it, but still...

The Fortune Teller: This lady is creepy. Seems like everyone she tells a fortune for ends up at Tom's booth and then ends up dead shortly thereafter. The really bizarre thing is that there's no actual connection there though. I think it was more just a matter of Tom's booth being the next stop after her stall. She's pretty much what you'd expect from a carnival fortune teller. She's weird looking and suckers people in for the one dollar palm reading but then charges them five bucks to read the cards. It's in the cards that she sees all these people being murdered, but she never actually tells anyone anything except that they should go home. Now if it was me, I think I'd tell them. But then again, everyone who got murdered deserved it, so maybe I wouldn't.




The Plot
There's murder afoot at the carnival on Coney Island. Someone is picking out the most irritating women possible and murdering them in the most horrific ways possible. Dan, a recently promoted assistant district at tourney, takes on the case and him and his fiance Laura go down to the carnival to investigate. There's plenty of creepy characters afoot at the carnival, and any one of them could be involved. There's Tom the game booth operator who's a very good friend of Dan's fiance Laura. Then there's Gimpy The Hunchback who works for Tom in his booth. He's semi-retarted and horribly disfigured. And what about the fortune teller? Could she have a part in all of this? The movie finally comes to a head, as Dan makes a grisly discovery and the murder is finally exposed.



What The Hell???
1. Well now, this is interesting. This particular movie starts out...um...well this just got even more bizarre. It started out with some nice shots of a carnival at night and some chick singing some really irritating song and playing the guitar in the background, but then it makes a sudden cut to a couple having an argument as they walk down the street. They argue for about maybe eight seconds and then all of a sudden they cut to the opening credits. Now here's the bizarre part. The opening credits consist of the girls head on a black velvet background. It's not a severed head or anything, it's just her head laid in over the black velvet background. She's yackin' away like there's no tomorrow, but all we hear is the sound of a heart beating. This is really bizarre. I hope the rest of this movie isn't this bizarre or I won't be able to follow it. I'd also like to mention at this point that I'm drinking Mug Root Beer while I do this review. So you people from Mug, I'll be expecting the check in the mail for the plug. (You know one of these days, one of these companies is actually going to send me a check and I'm gonna keel over and have a heart attack.)
2. Oh man. They cut back to footage of the carnival and that irritating chick singing in the background again. Make it stop please! The pain! I can't take the pain! Oh wait, back to the couple arguing again. Now back to the chicks head on the black velvet and the heart beat. Now back to the irritating chick singing again and the carnival footage. Back to the couple arguing again now. Now back to the chicks head on black velvet and the heartbeat sound. Now back to the singer chick and the carnival. Now back to the couple arguing. Now a shot of a mannequin head getting split in half. Oh my god...what the hell is all this? The worst part is...none of the voices actually go along with what the mouths are doing. I feel like I'm watching a bad kung fu movie on acid.
3. Finally something normal...thank god. Dan and Laura are sitting out on the front steps of their apartment building talking. Dan apparently just got promoted to assistant district at tourney and he's just now told his girlfriend Laura and proposed to her at the same time. Wow, what a cheesy looking ring he just gave her. Now they're kissing. Awwwwwwww mush!
4. Now that annoying chick is playing guitar and singing again in the background as Dan and Laura are back up in their apartment. Laura was just trying to fill up a coffee pot when Dan came up behind her and planted a big wet one on her. Now off to the bedroom we go, and we get to see Dan undress Laura through the funky distorted glass in the door. Now they're workin' at gettin' it on over on the bed. Now forgive me here for a second. I mean, maybe I'm naive or something, but isn't a movie supposed to at least start out with some kind of a story?
5. Oh man, now we're back to that arguing couple again. They just got pulled into some fortune tellers studio. Harry is totally uninterested in the whole thing. I'm not sure what the harpy...uh...I mean his wife's name is yet, but I'm thinking it's probably Claire since that's the only female's name that was listed that I haven't seen yet. I hope the fortune teller tells them that they're both going to slide under a gas truck and taste their own blood or something. My god these people are irritating. Again I have to mention, the words are not even remotely going with the lips. This is the most atrocious audio dubbing I've ever seen, and the worst part is, this is an American movie!
6. The fortune teller just told them that she needs something green. Now what would have been funny here is if Harry had pulled a booger out of his nose and handed it to her. Then she could have put a curse on them both and they could have died already and saved me the misery of watching them any further. As it happens though, Harry hands her a dollar. Now I find this a bit odd anyway because the sign out in front, on both sides of the door in great big letters said that it only cost twenty-five cents. Then again, if I had to read the futures of two people this annoying, I'd overcharge them too.

7. First up is Claire. The fortune teller takes her palm and tells her that she sees a long life, two very beautiful children, and a handsome man. Harry says that it must be him and Claire tells him to shut up. After a few more obscure readings, the fortune teller lady tells them that she can see no more in the palm and that she must read the cards. Claire asks her how much it'll be to read the cards and the lady tells them it'll be another five bucks. Hell, I'd pay them twice that amount just to get them out of my shop if I was that old fortune teller. In fact, I'd pay ten times that just for this movie to be over right now. Something tells me I'm going to have to reach up in the ol' belfry to get the rating for this movie.

8. Harry insists on giving her the money because now all of a sudden he's interested in this whole thing. Claire nags him incessantly about wasting five bucks, but he blows her off. If it was me, I'd have spent the five bucks on a roll of duct tape for Claire's mouth.

9. The fortune teller starts dealing out the cards and says that she sees a business venture. Harry says that it's something to do with zippers. Claire nags him about that and tells him to just wait till she get's him home. He blows her off. Then the gypsy tells him that she sees some difficulty with a very close relative, and Claire says that it's probably his mother. Then the fortune teller flips up the card for the day, and she gets all upset and says that she can't read any more cards today. She advises them both to go home, and Claire freaks big time and goes all harpy about the money. She wants the five bucks back. Like I said, I'd have given her ten just to get the hell out. Harry stands up and tells Claire that if she don't get up and leave right now that she's gonna be sorry.
10. So they leave the shop and suddenly Claire gets it in her head that she wants Harry to win her a bear before they go home. She finally nags Harry into playing that game where you have to throw darts and break the balloons. So he throws the first shot and misses and she goes into harpy mode again, and Harry misses the next two shots as well. So Claire turns around and goes all harpy on some innocent bystander for whatever reason and Harry says to the booth attendant...no. Go read it in the best quote. It's too funny to waste here.

11. Oh man. Sharon just told me that this movie is giving her a headache. I agree with her. Claire has been going harpy with this other guy who's playing and he just got three in a row and now she's bitching at Harry because the other guy got three in a row and he didn't and the game attendant is telling her to lay off him and maybe he'll do better and she got all offended and kept on yapping the whole time. I swear, I never wanted anyone in any movie to die as bad as I want her to right at this particular moment. She's even giving the game attendant a headache. I need to mention at this point too that Gimpy The Hunchback is working in this game booth as well handing out darts, so he's listening to the whole thing. You'll know why I mentioned that in a bit.

12. Now the other guy is telling Claire that he just got five in a row. She just told Harry the guy got five in a row and the game attendant told her to lay off him. She got all offended and started bitching at him and Harry told her to knock it off and that she has her friend over there and he has his friend over here. I swear, if I was Harry, her head would have been in a bowling bag years ago. Anyway, now she tells him that he can't hit a balloon and he can't hit it in bed. Yes, definitely in the bowling bag. Or even better, he could cut off the top of her head, scoop out the brains, fill it with kitty litter, and leave it out for the local cats. That's about what she deserves.
13. Finally she tells Harry that she's not leaving until he gets her one of those teddy bears. The game attendant throws one at her and says to Harry, "Now will you get her the hell out of here?" Harry shakes his hand and thanks him and they leave with Claire saying that she's never been so humiliated. Now they're walking down the street and she's nagging Harry because she wants his jacket and so he gives her his jacket. Then she spots this house of horrors ride and insists that they go on it before they go home. Harry really wants to take off, but he finally agrees. Sharon just said, "PMS looks like nothing compared to this woman. They probably named PMS after her. I hope she dies now, I feel sorry for him." Yep, that's my baby! Now you all know why I married her.
14. So they go on this house of horrors ride and we're treated to all kinds of psychedelic effects and Claire screams. As they come out, it looks like Harry and Claire are asleep. At least it does until Claire's head falls off and blood squirts everywhere. Harry isn't dead, he just bends over and pukes. Claire's definitely dead though. Now the odd part about this is that there's a cop car and an ambulance there in about five seconds. The ambulance guys clean up what's left of Claire and say that it's too bad because she was a good lookin' chick. Then one says to the other, "You wanna take her down now or you wanna go for lunch first?" Kinda reminds me of the ambulance drivers in The Crawling Hand. Anyway, at the end of this scene, we see Gimpy The Hunchback sneaking out the side door of the ride. Oddly enough he's holding a teddy bear just like the one that Claire had. Gee, I didn't know hunchbacks could throw darts that well. I wonder how many he got in a row. Oh, now wait a minute? You don't actually think he had something to do with this horrible murder do you? You do? Nahhhhhh... I think all that happened was that her mouth was going so fast that the hinges in her neck broke and the whole thing just sorta, you know, fell off.

15. Back at Dan and Laura's place, Dan calls Laura on the phone and told her about the murder and then said that he didn't want her to leave the apartment until he gets there. He also told her that the description of the woman that was murdered sounded just like her. There's a lot of mindless chatter back and forth here, and then Dan tells her that he wants to get this case assigned to him and he wants her to go with him to the carnival tonight. She gets all upset and they have an argument. See, they were supposed to go out and celebrate their engagement tonight and she thinks he's going to be putting her in danger if she goes out there with him. He finally hangs up on her, which she probably deserved, but if you look over to the right in this scene, you can see the microphone sticking in on the right side of the screen quite a bit. Finally they figure out it's in the shot and they pull it back and pan the camera over so it's out of the shot again.

16. Now Tom's at the door. Laura goes over and answers it wearing nothing but a painters smock. Tom is the guy that runs the balloon popping game at the carnival. He's a friend of Dan and Laura's and just generally an all around nice guy. Laura was gonna make him some coffee but then got pissy about Dan again and threw the cup down on the floor shattering it. Tom helps her pick it up and they start talking about the fight that her and Dan just had. He tells Laura that they shouldn't fight, that it's bad and that his parents fought all the time. Poor guy. Anyway, he leaves and a little later on Dan comes home. They make up real quick by hopping into bed together and then going down to the carnival. We have to listen to that annoying chick playing the guitar and singing again while we watch Dan and Laura fart around at the carnival together. Now Harry and Claire were annoying as hell, but at least they were interesting and funny. Dan and Laura are just boring. Now that Claire is dead and Harry is out of the picture, I wish someone would just shoot me in the head and make this pain stop.
17. Laura tells Dan that they need to stop by Tom's stand. He gets upset because he finds out that Laura told him about their fight. Man, he just about started another fight over her telling Tom about the previous one. Maybe these two shouldn't get married after all. I definitely know they shouldn't breed. There's enough annoying people in the world as it is.
18. Over at Tom's stand, he sells a drunken sailor and his chick three darts. He goes to throw the dart and falls over backward. His woman is about as annoying as Claire was, except her mouth doesn't move as much. Gimpy's sitting there watching all this and says something incoherent to the sailor and his chick but after listening to it about five times now, I still don't know what he said. Anyway, the sailor misses on all three throws. Finally Tom just gives the chick a teddy bear so he can get rid of her. This sailor is so drunk he's incoherent. I hope he's not going back to the ship anytime soon because he'll probably fall off the poop deck.
19. Dan and Laura are at Tom's stand now and Dan plays the game while Tom lays down below and talks to them using one of the teddy bears as a puppet. God this is bizarre. Anyway, Tom gives Laura a huge bear and wishes them the best. Dan and Laura head off to the fortune teller now. The fortune teller is doing the same kind of a reading she did for Harry and Claire. She just pulled the same "Can't read the cards anymore" thing she pulled with Harry and Claire. This doesn't bode well for Laura. Now Dan wants to take Laura into the house of horrors because it's the same place the lady got killed last night. Again we're treated to scenes of the bizarre and the macabre. Laura screams, towards the end of the ride, but she makes it out alive...unfortunately. I really wish everyone in this movie would die a horrible bloody death.
20. The sailor and his chick are in the fortune teller's place now. She's doing the standard reading, and he's probably thinking he's getting a discount, because as he looks at his hand, he probably thinks he's getting a two for one special. Man this guy is hammered. The fortune teller is reading the cards now as the sailor and the chick are making out on her couch and the chick is stealing the sailor's money and stuffing it in her stocking. It doesn't take a fortune teller to figure out who's gonna die next, now does it?
21. Dan and Laura plop their lazy butts down on a park bench and as they're sitting there, Dan remembers that Laura left her big stuffed bear back at the house of horrors. He tells her that he'll go back and get it and that she can wait there. Now tell me something. How come this guy who supposedly loves this girl is willing to leave her sitting on a bench out in the middle of a carnival where a murder was just committed? Maybe he's just trying to think of a way to get rid of her and he's taking a chance? Maybe he's just a jerk? Dunno, but I know I sure as hell wouldn't leave my wife sitting there alone.
22. Now the drunken sailor and his chick are walking along under the pier and he ends up causing her to drop her purse in the water. He picks it up for her and then falls in the water himself. They fart around a little and then get back up in the sand and plop down together. Again, you can see the boom mic sticking in from the right side of the screen. The sailor and the chick are making out now, and he's being really weird. Finally he gets up and walks away and leaves her alone there. She goes running under one of the beams and the murderer stabs her in the stomach. Once she's head, he also pulls out her stomach and intestines in what actually turns out to be a pretty cool looking scene. Laura heard the girl screaming and tells Dan about it when he comes back. They go over to investigate and find the girl. Laura starts screaming and they run off. Now, two funny things about this dead girl. The first thing is that for a dead girl, she sure breathes a lot, and the second thing is that if you look at her stomach where her dress is open and where the killer ripped her guts out, you see...well...her stomach. There's not even any blood there or anything. Just her bare stomach. Would a little continuity be too much to ask for here people. I mean, I know it's a low budget film and all, but jeez.
23. Man, I'm only forty-six minutes into this nightmare and I'm already on number twenty-three. I would pay cash money for someone to shoot me in the head at this point. Where's Harry and Claire when you need them? Anyway, Back at the stand, Gimpy comes walking in with the bear that Tom gave to the sailor's chick. Tom questions him about it because that was the last blue bear they had. He presses the matter and Gimpy gets all upset and tears the bear apart. Gimpy's all upset because while Tom was gone, people threw money at him and made fun of him. Tom finally calms him down and offers to take him back to his place for a beer. So off they go back to Tom's place arm in arm. Back at Tom's place they drink beer and make small talk. Tom has teddy bears and stuffed animals all over his apartment too. There's something so creepy about this scene. Tom asks him if he has any family. Gimpy says that he never had a mother, but he had a dog. He was all different colors and he was nice, but he had to kill him. Then he asks him what his real name is and he says it's Gimpy. Tom says that no one is named Gimpy, then Gimpy says, "Ok then, Mr. Gimpy." Gimpy asks him if he has a girlfriend, and that turns out to be a sore subject with Tom. Finally Tom tells Gimpy not to get so angry at the customers because he's scaring them off. A little back and forth about that and Tom offers to let Gimpy stay the night. Now, after hearing about that little segment of the movie, do you see why I'm ready to eat a bullet already? My god I can feel my I.Q. dropping as we speak.
24. The next scene we're treated to is the fortune teller trying to talk this middle aged tourist lady in bizarre looking horn rimmed glasses into coming in for a reading. They haggle over the price which is quite funny, and finally agree to $3.50 for both palm and cards. Oh and the twenty-five cents thing... Now that I can see the sign clearly, the twenty-five cent jobber is only for handwriting analysis and not for the palm or card reading. Jeez, for $3.50 she sure is getting a deluxe reading. Far more detailed than the previous ones. The fortune teller is telling her that she's going to meet a tall dark handsome man with money and have a bunch of kids. *shudder* Man, that's just sick. This woman is hideous. Even farm animals wouldn't breed with this woman. Now she's telling her that she's gonna meet this guy on a boat within the next two days. She can't get the whole name but the first letter of the guy's name starts with 'R'. She says the woman is going to have a big house in the country with a lot of land around it. Then the fortune teller gets the funky card, freaks out and stops the reading. She ought to just post a sign on the door that says, "If you end up dead after one of my readings, don't bother asking for a refund because I will have already spent your money on cool gypsy stuff." At least that way she wouldn't get a bunch of dead people coming back asking for refunds.
25. So the beast goes out and ends up at Tom's stand. She wants to win the yellow dog. So Tom tells her that she has to pop at least two balloons with three darts. She starts complaining about how everyone else gives you five darts and then her and Gimpy get into it and she gets very insulting. Finally she throws the darts. She throws one and POP! She throws the next one and POP! again. Then she goes looking for the third dart and can't find it. Tom found it for her though. See, it was stuck to her boob. I kid you not. The dart was hanging off her left boob by one of it's fins. This movie gets more ridiculous every second. Anyway, she throws the dart and misses. Then she gets upset because she doesn't get the big prize. Tom offers her six more darts for fifty cents and says that she only has to pop one balloon out of the six darts and he'll give her the big prize. Gimpy keeps talking smack to her the whole time calling her a troublemaker and what not. She keeps missing, and finally Tom gives her a bear just to get rid of her. Man, this is a great scam. Just go play carnival games and be a total jerk and they'll give you stuffed animals just to get rid of you.
26. Now we get to see the lady bust her way to the front of the line at some food place. She's bitching about how she wants her shrimp and that she ordered before those other people and blah blah blah. Man, and I thought Claire was annoying. This lady needs to die like now. Oh wait, she is dying now. She was walking down the street eating her shrimp when suddenly she's killed by Alice Cooper! I know I haven't mentioned this before, but every time, right before someone dies, we see, just for a flashing second, what looks like Alice Cooper's face in nightmare makeup from the nose up. Don't ask me, I haven't got a clue. Anyway, the killer rips her tongue out, and then pulls out her eyeballs. Then he proceeds to beat her in the head with a brick to kill her. I know that sounds gruesome, but it was actually quite funny, and she totally deserved it.

27. Back at Dan and Laura's place, Dan comes in in a monkey man mask and scares the hell out of Laura. She's totally ticked off because she's still upset about seeing that murdered girl that was still breathing and didn't have any blood on her. Now she's yelling at him and she's totally upset. So far these two don't have a really big part in this movie other than having sex and being annoying. I think they're about to have sex again. Well, they were until Dan said that he wanted her to go back out to the carnival tonight. She freaks and he says that the only way she can beat her fears is to go back there. Again, she freaks out and finally kicks him out. After he leaves, she throws the engagement ring away and then paints that giant panda bear that she had all green for no apparent reason. You remember that bear don't you? That's the one she left at the house of horrors and couldn't get back because they were closed. So what the hell's it doing sitting in her apartment now?

28. Dan goes back to the carnival and finds the fortune teller lady and starts pumping her for information. She's less than forthcoming with him and...um...wait a minute. Dan's asking her how she knew that those people were going to be murdered. She denies having any knowledge of it, but he says that she warned the three women that were murdered that week that they were going to be murdered. Now I have to stop right here and ask the question, just how the hell did he know that she even talked to all of these murdered women? I mean Harry was still alive so he could have told the cops that they had been there earlier in the evening, but the sailor was so drunk that he probably didn't even know what continent he was on, and the annoying lady in the horn rimmed glasses was alone. So how the hell did he trace all this back to the fortune teller lady? Dan keeps hammering on her to tell him how she knew, and finally he grabs her by the shoulders and she screams and goes into some kind of a bizarre trance and starts mumbling about it burning and and gets freaked out and gets up and leaves. I don't blame him. That's pretty creepy. Never know what kind of a curse an old gypsy woman can put on you.
29. So now Laura's at Tom's stand at the carnival whining to Tom about how Dan scared her and how they broke off the engagement because he wanted her to go back to the carnival after what she had seen there. Um, excuse me. I know you're blonde and all, but look down at your feet. Go on, just look down for a second. There, now look up. Now look around you. See where you are? YOU'RE AT THE FREAKIN' CARNIVAL YOU MORON!!! DIDN'T YOU JUST BREAK OFF YOUR FRIGGIN' ENGAGEMENT BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WANT TO GO BACK THERE??? I'm sorry, but if someone doesn't kill her soon, I'm gonna be SERIOUSLY disappointed. She's whining about how he has no compassion and no sympathy and how she was the one who gave in the relationship and all he did was take. She tells him that she destroyed everything in the apartment that reminded her of him, and Tom asks her about the bear. She tells him she took her paint and mutilated it. Well now, that was the wrong thing to say, 'cause Tom freaks and tells her that she's just like all the others. That she's selfish and only thinks of herself and he starts screaming at her and calls her a slut and she goes running off. She deserved that. Gimpy is all confused now because he thought that they liked Laura. Wouldn't it be cool if they cut Laura's head off and hung it up with the balloons and threw darts at it? I'm sure it's so full of air that it would make a really nice popping sound.
30. Tom wants to leave, but Gimpy is almost crying and trying to stop him. He's begging Tom not to leave, and not to do Laura, and Tom keeps telling him to get out of the way. Gimpy wouldn't get out of the way, so Tom stabs him and kills him. Poor gimpy, he was so misunderstood. Now Tom, please, and I mean this with all sincerity... HURRY UP AND GO KILL THAT IDIOT LAURA ALREADY!!! Please Tom, do it for me, and for the sake of the world. Kill this woman before she has a chance to breed.

31. Now bear with me here because there's a big sequence of events that happens in a series of relatively quick cuts back and forth. Dan shows up back at Laura's and finds the bear covered with paint. Then we see Laura walking along and kinda keeping an eye out behind her. Now we jump to Dan over at Tom's apartment looking for Tom and Laura. Now we're back to Laura running along and keeping an eye out behind her. Tom's chasing her with a bear in his hands. Back at Tom's apartment, Dan notices that one of the giant panda's has a real set of eyeballs. He picks it up and pulls some duct tape off the back and all kinds of human guts fall out of it. He freaks out and goes running out of the apartment, eventually ending up back at the balloon popping stand where he finds Gimpy dead. Meanwhile, Tom finally catches up to Laura. She tells him that someone's following her but he tells her that there's no one there that wants to do her any harm and he convinces her to go on a ride with him to relax. Dan's running around desperately trying to find them, but it's too late. They just got on a tram ride together. Tom is trying to open the door of the tram car while she looks out the window, but he can't get it open. The ride ends, and he had to go find another ride. He gets her on the ferris wheel where he finally tells her that he's going to kill her. He tries to strangle her, but then pulls back and starts saying in a really bizarre way, "I have to kill you mommy. I have to." Man, that's creepy. She pretends to be his mommy to get him to stop, and then tries to get him to come to his senses by telling him that she's Laura and that she's his friend. Then, Tom goes into flashback mode. He's thinking back to when he's a kid and his father bought him a teddy bear, but his mommy wouldn't let him sleep with it. Now he's remembering how his mother had her lover over and got it on with him while he was locked in his room. His father came home and caught them together, beat his mother to death, and then lit the house on fire. Tom somehow got out alive, but the experience scarred him for life. Now we're out of flashback mode and back in the ferris wheel car. The ride stops and Tom gets out and runs away, but Dan is there waiting for him and ends up chasing him out into the street where he's promptly hit by a car and messed up real bad. The blood isn't very realistic looking though. Looks more like red paint. Anyway, he dies, and Laura's all, "Is he dead?" Yeah Sherlock, he's dead. He's dead, the movie's over, and unfortunately, he didn't take you with him. Oh well... I'm sure after you're married to Dan for a week or two, you'll drive Dan insane enough to kill you. I have to believe that, just for my own sanity, I've got to believe that. Anyway, like I said, the pain...uh...I mean the movie's over.




Best Quote

Harry: "Are you Married?"
Tom The Game Attendant: "No, never have been."
Harry: "Good deal. Don't get married. Boy it was the biggest mistake of my life. The biggest mistake."
Tom The Game Attendant: "How'd ya ever get hampered with that one?"
Harry: "I dunno, it's a long story, I don't wanna tell ya."

 

- Harry talking to Tom the game attendant while Claire's mouth is going a million miles an hour. - (Reviewer's Note: As irritating as Claire was, it was a shame to see her die, because her and Harry were about the two most interesting characters in this movie.)



 

Video Clip
When prompted, enter bmovie for the username and central for the password.

Carnival of Blood
Harry can't throw a dart straight to save his life, but Harry's harpy of a wife insists that he win her a teddy bear. Harry's misses the first two shots and then decides to give Tom a little advice about marriage.



The Conclusion

You know it's funny how things can grow on you in retrospect. When I first started this movie and in fact all the way up to about half way through it, I was fully thinking that I was going to end up giving it a Bat. Then at about the point where the woman in the horn rimmed glasses showed up, I realized that there was enough good stuff in this movie to make it worth pulling it out of the steaming pile of guano that is the Bat rating and give it something better. So I'm figuring at this point that maybe I'll be generous and give it maybe one Bee or maybe even one and a half, but now that this horrific nightmare of a movie is over, I find myself looking back on it as a whole and realizing that it really wasn't all that bad. That's not to say that it was great, but it really wasn't all that bad.

The acting in this movie was actually pretty damn good and the majority of the actors really sold the characters the way they should have and made their characters effective. The major exceptions to this are Dan and Laura played by Martin Barlorski and Judith Resnick. Both of them are absolutely abominable actors and have no real business being in front of the camera. They must have worked real cheap in this film, because that's about the only appeal that either of them would have. Neither one of them were believable in their roles and I found both to be just incredibly annoying.

Tom, played by Earl Edgerton, did a great job playing the psycho, keeping everything on the straight and narrow until late in the film. Unfortunately, the script and the direction gave us hints that it probably wasn't Gimpy long before we actually found out that it wasn't, which is a shame, because they really had good potential in that particular plot swerve.

Burt Young who played Gimpy, did a great job with the part even though the character wasn't as developed as it should have been and not used to it's full potential. We were supposed to think that he was the killer, but they really didn't put enough emphasis on him to point us in that direction and keep us on that track up until the point where we find out otherwise.

There were some obvious glitches in the filmmaking process as well, like the microphone showing up in at least two of the scenes, and some continuity and editing mistakes as well. Despite all the problems though, I don't feel like I wasted my time watching this movie. That feeling comes mostly from just three characters. Harry, Claire, and the horn rimmed glasses lady. These three characters made the movie fun and gave me several good laughs. The fortune teller lady had her moments as well and I did get one really good laugh out of her when Dan grabbed her by the shoulder and she screamed and went into a trance. All in all though, this movie was a hit and a miss. It had some great, funny parts, and some really lame, unbelievable parts as well. Those great and funny parts though, saved this movie from a Bat rating and actually brought the movie as a whole up to...

B-Movie Central's Rating: 2½ Bees

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Unseen Things: Origins



My series of contemporary fantasy / sci-fi novels, Unseen Things is now available through the official website, Amazon, Smashwords and other online retail sites.

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