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The Land That Time Forgot |
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| Cast Of Characters | ||
| Bowen Tyler: He's tough, he's mean, he's the baddest mofo on the screen! Yes, it's Doug McClure! When you need someone to deliver the cheese, just call Doug 'cause he aims to please. In this case, he's Bowen Tyler. What's so special about Bowen Tyler? Well he just happens to be the son of a big time submarine engineer, which came in real handy when he and the other survivors of the civilian passenger ship they were on end up taking over the German submarine that blew their ship out from under them. Wasn't that convenient? |
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| Captain Von Schoenvorts: This guy started out as a real schmuck, but then turned out to be a really decent guy. Basically he's just loyal to his country and kills the enemy because they would kill his people rather than doing it out of malice as so many other Germans would have. He's inquisitive and likes doing biological research as a hobby, which allows him a form of kinship with Lisa. Unfortunately for him, his first mate Dietz didn't have the honor that this guy had, and unfortunately for the ol' captain here, he didn't realize it until it was too late. |
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| Lisa Clayton: She's pretty, she's smart, and she actually helps out when there's a crisis. She's basically everything your average b-movie girl isn't, which was a nice change really. Lisa is a research biologist, and they never really tell us why she was on the ship or where she was going, but she sure was nice to look at amongst that group of big, stinky, greasy, hairy men. Kinda like a flower growing out of a cow pie if you will. |
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| Bradley: This guy was the captain of the ship that got blown up by the Germans. He's a good captain and a good reliable guy as well, but other than that there's really not much else to say about him, so I guess I should move on. What's that? You don't want me to move on? You want to know more about this guy? Well, since he was a fictional character and his whole persona was made up, I guess I can make up some more stuff. Let's see... Ok, he's got a wife and three little piglets at home, he likes fish and chips with a little malt vinegar, he's got a dog named Rusty and he's a regular down at Madame Floozy's House of Pleasure where his favorite girl Babs wears a slinky little outfit made from rubber and ostrich feathers especially for him because he's a good customer and it gives him happy pants. There, ya happy now? |
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| Dietz: This guy is a total schmuck and he has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Unfortunately for everyone, he's Captain Von Shoenvorts' first mate, so he's in a position of power where he can actually get away with being a schmoe to everyone. Despite his best efforts though, the film actually did have a semi-happy ending. He died. Oddly enough, no one cared. Well, only Bowen and Lisa were actually still alive at the end, but still, I'm sure this guy's death didn't exactly break their hearts. |
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| Ahm: This is Ahm, and he was the crew's little fuzzy buddy. He hung out with them and helped out until it was time for him to ascend to the next level of evolution, at which time he left them and joined up with the tribe that was higher on the evolutionary scale than his previous one. If this guy really wants to evolve, I can help him out with that. All it would take is a razor, a bar of soap, and some deodorant. Hell, just the soap and the deodorant alone would put him two steps above the French on the evolutionary scale. |
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| Screen Shots | |
| "Now she's taking off her shoes. Now she's taking off her socks. Oh man, this is hot stuff!" |
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| Hey! This caveman is checkin' out the crew and fingering his club. Somebody better warn them, because if he gets a hold of 'em... Oh well, they're sailors. They're probably used to that sort of thing. |
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"Hey Ralph, over here! I found a whole buffet line of these little pink things. Hurry up man, before Ethel gets over here and eats 'em all!" |
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Oh come now, the movie's not that boring... |
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Is your breath fresh enough to get this close? |
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| Best Quote |
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Plesser: "Ahhhhhhh!!!!! Dooohhh!!!! Booooaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!" |
| Video Clip When prompted, enter bmovie for the username and central for the password. |
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The Land That Time Forgot
The crew has one of those, "Oh crap!" moments when they come across two dinosaurs that aren't too awful happy to see them.
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| Summary and Conclusion | |
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I admit it. I'm a sucker for these movies. I just love Doug McClure and big monsters and cavemen and all that sort of stuff. I mean how can you not like that kind of stuff? It's awesome! What makes it even better is when it's all combined into one great film. Such is the case with The Land That Time Forgot.
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