The Flying Serpent

Year Of Production: 1946
Running Time: 58 Minutes
DVD Released By: Image Entertainment
Directed By: Sam Newfield
Writing Credits: John T. Neville
Filming Location: Unknown

Starring: George Zucco, Ralph Lewis, Hope Kramer, Eddie Acuff, Wheaton Chambers, James Metcalf, Henry Hall, Milton Kibbee, Bud Buster

Tagline: Relic of an ancient terror born a billion years ago!

Alternate Titles:
I was unable to find any reference to alternate titles for this film.

Interesting Bits of Trivia:
Hope Kramer, who played Mary Forbes in this film, only ever appeared in two movies.  She appeared in this one in 1946, and then in 1951 she played the role of Ruth Cvetic in I Was a Communist for the FBI.




Cast Of Characters
Professor Andrew Forbes: This guy is a total jerk, not to mention a total idiot.  He discovers this great treasure, and instead of just taking it and getting the hell out of Dodge, he goes through this whole elaborate scheme to kill anyone who gets too close to it.  Bugs Bunny would call this guy an ultra maroon.

Doctor John Lambert: This guy wasn't in the film very long.  He was a very nice old ornithologist who just wanted to find out where the Quetzalcoatl's feather came from and wanted to discover if the Quetzalcoatl itself actually existed.  What he got instead was the unenviable job of being the first victim in this film.  His death, and the investigation that followed it, are what brought about all the further events that happened thereafter.  Not bad for a guy who probably got five bucks, a hot dog, and a kick in the butt for his short lived role in this film.

Mary Forbes: She's the beautiful daughter of Professor Forbes.  She's also about as dumb as a box of shoe laces and doesn't really contribute much of any import to this film.  I think they just threw her in here so they could have a nice looking woman for all the guys in the audience to look at.  She's actually the only woman in the film come to think of it.  Well, she is if you don't count the few anonymous female extras in the background.

Richard Thorpe: This guy thinks he's just the coolest dude on Earth.  I think I'll just refer to him as Spanky.  I don't know why, it just seems to suit him for some reason.  Anyway, Spanky here is a mystery show announcer on the radio, and as such, takes it upon himself to head on down to New Mexico with a couple of other guys in an effort to solve this mystery as part of his radio show.  He actually does a really good job of solving this mystery, but when all the clues are pretty much dropped right in your lap, it's hard not to.

Sheriff Bill Hayes: For a sheriff, this guy sure wasn't much help.  It looks like he's crapping his pants in this screenshot here don't it?  Well you're probably not too far off the mark since he's just about to get munched on by the Quetzalcoatl.  I'm not really sure why I included him in this section since he didn't have a huge part in this movie.  I think it was because I got such a great crappin' my pants screenshot of him.

Quetzalcoatl: This is the fearsome beast that you'll hear about a lot in the following bits of text.  I thought this was kind of a cool screenshot because it looks like one of those photos you'd see of the Loch Ness Monster.  Like, kinda grainy and shadowy and in black and white.  Believe me folks, the Loch Ness Monster is far more interesting and intimidating than this stupid thing could ever hope to be.




The Plot

An archaeologist discovers an ancient Aztec treasure that's protected by an equally ancient Aztec god named Quetzalcoatl.  Back during the time of Montezuma, the Aztec king sent some of his people away with a large portion of his treasure when the Spanish Conquistadors came to his lands.  The people went north, and they ended up setting up housekeeping in what eventually became modern day New Mexico.  The people summoned Quetzalcoatl to protect the treasure, which it did faithfully throughout the years.  The archaeologist that discovered the treasure, learned how to control Quetzalcoatl, and used him as his own personal servant to murder anyone who got close to his discovery.  A radio mystery host takes it upon himself to go and solve these murders, and in the process, he falls in love with the archaeologists daughter, saves her from the evil machinations of her father, and claims the treasure for himself.  It all sounds pretty exciting doesn't it?  Well think again...




What The Hell???
1. Well, let's see what we have here.  The movie starts with an Aztec pictogram carved in stone with the credits running over it and some very typical 1946 B-Movie music playing along with it.  I always love starting out a movie with that kind of music.  I don't know why but it just makes me feel good for some reason.  The pictogram behind the credits is that of Quetzalcoatl, the killer bird god.

2.  Wow, an opening shot of text written on parchment.  How original.  Anyway, the text says, "Near the little city of San Juan, New Mexico, stand the Aztec ruins.  Archaeologists tell us they are the remains of a once great temple, abandoned by the Aztecs when they migrated south to the Valley of Mexico, where they founded a rich empire.  To defeat the greed of Cortez and his Spanish adventurers who had inaugurated a campaign of loot and murder, the wily Emperor Montezuma hid his fabulous treasure far to the north and implored his native gods to guard it."  Now this is stupid on so many levels, I don't even know where to begin, so I won't.  Let's just say that I don't care how beefy your people are, it would have taken an army to move that much gold that far north, and it would have taken some heavy equipment to do it.  Don't forget that there weren't any roads back then either, and first they had to make it through the jungles with it before they ever even got to some open land.  I mean duh!  Couldn't they have just had this movie take place down in Mexico near where the treasure was hidden?  That would have made a lot more sense.

3. It's night time as we open with the first real scene in the movie.  A layered over bit of text comes on the screen.  It says, "Among these gods was the feathered serpent...QUETZALCOATL"  Doesn't "Quetzalcoatl" look like one of those scrambled letter word puzzles?  Well I think it does.  Anyway, where was I?  Oh yeah, as the letters fade out, we see the head of the monster sticking out of the darkness and it's hissing and sticking it's tongue out.  Not exactly a terrifying site I must say.  It's really dark, but from what I can see, this thing looks more like a muppet than anything else.  It's probably got Jim Henson back in the cave with his arm up the thing's butt going, "Hissssssssssssssssss!  Hisssssssssssssssssss!!!"

4. Next we go to a wide shot of a car driving along a road in front of what look like Aztec ruins.  There's a crazy lookin' guy behind the wheel, and after a couple other quick shots, we see him going into a treasure chamber and sifting through some of the treasure.  There's something behind some bars though.  It's Quetzalcoatl!  And man is he ticked off.  So the archaeologist guy, who is actually Professor Andrew Forbes even though we haven't found that out yet, walks over to his cage and on the ground there next to the bars is a feather from the winged serpent.  The professor puts on a leather glove and snatches the feather from the cage.  Quetzalcoatl don't like people takin' his feathers and he gets really irritated.  The professor starts rambling about how no one know's how rich he really is and about how if they saw Quetzalcoatl they'd think he was a throwback to some prehistoric time and not recognize him for the god that he is.  Then he says that he claims the treasure by right of discovery and that Quetzalcoatl will now protect it for him.  So basically what we have here is an evil professor and a creature that would disembowel him if it could just get out of that cage.  I'd say that's a pretty good start to a B-Movie.  Let's see how the rest of it holds up.

5. The scene changes to the pages of a book flipping by.  The last page that appears has a picture of an Aztec carving of Quetzalcoatl and under it are the words, "Aztec Carving of the Legendary Bird Quetzalcoatl - By Dr. John Lambert" and then it scrolls down so you can see what's written on the page.  Ok guys, now seriously, I think we got it already.  Part snake, part bird, yada yada yada.  I really wish they wouldn't keep coming back to this.  I hope they don't spend the first half of the movie doing that.  Oddly enough, it was Doctor Lambert that was flipping through the book.  There's a knock!  Get that...it might be the door.  And put your coat on!  So they don't knooooooooooow you're a hunchback.  WHOA!  Sorry, I was having a Doctor Gore flashback there.  Anyway, there's a knock at the door and Dr. Lambert goes over to answer it.  It's Mary!  And isn't she looking stunning today in her stunning 1946 dress with a hat that's hideous enough to rival that of Mrs. Fremont in Blood Feast.  Thank god she's carrying it instead of wearing it.  So anyway, her and John are talking now, and during the conversation, we find out that Mary is the daughter of Professor Forbes.  That was a pretty slick way of introducing the character and letting us all know her place in the movie all in one or two little sentences.  Dr. Lambert asks Mary if she's read his new article on birds of the south west.  She says it was very interesting, but she's worried that her father might be furious about him mentioning the legend of Montezuma's treasure being buried around Azteca.  He doesn't understand why, but she's concerned that some of his readers might be treasure hunters.  Dr. Lambert very jovially asks her what her father's been up to, and she says that her father hasn't been interested in women since her mother died.  Then she goes on to say how her mother's death was strange and horrible, and she wonders if the tragedy hasn't affected her father.  Blah blah blah...  Anyway, after a little more chit chat about her father, the old coot actually comes cruisin' on in, and boy is he steamed.  He comes over to Dr. Lambert with the article that Dr. Lambert had written in his hand.  He starts poking it savagely and says to Dr. Lambert, "What is this foolishness?"  then he starts nagging him about his article bringing out all kinds of treasure hunters and what not with their dynamite and such.  The professor leaves in a huff, but drops the Quetzalcoatl feather on the floor on his way out.  Mary finds the feather on the floor and Dr. Lambert gets all excited.  He starts explaining how he's only seen two other specimens like it in the world and then goes into this big long oratory about the Quetzalcoatl and about how the creature lived on blood and blah blah blah...  I'm tired of this scene already.  Let's move on to the next one.  There's been more than enough build up and talking in this scene.  Come on people!  Less talk, more action!

6. Mary goes home and tells her father about the feather and about how Dr. Lambert took it out to Azteca to see Professor Hastings.  Andrew heads out to Azteca, and by some bizarre happenstance manages to beat Dr. Lambert out there.  How the hell he did that, I have no freakin' clue.  Anyway, Professor Forbes goes into his secret little hidey hole where the treasure and the Quetzalcoatl are and with the pull of a lever, opens the ceiling of the Quetzalcoatl's cell.  As the light shines down on this ancient creature, we can now plainly see...yep, it's a muppet!  Anyway, the Quetzalcoatl takes off and flies out of the cell.  We then see him flying along through the air.  Now I must say that watching this thing fly is actually kinda cool.  They did a pretty good job on making the wing action look realistic.  Well at least they did in that one scene.  In the next scene it looks like one of those mechanical birds you see flying around on a string in the toy stores.  Give ya three guesses where our ol' buddy Quetzalcoatl is flying off to.  Yep, you guessed it.  He's after his feather.  I'm not sure why he wants it back so bad, but he's on the trail big time, and headed right for Dr. Lambert who's just now arrived at Azteca.  Dr. Lambert gets out of his car, holding the feather in his hand, and has a look around.  Suddenly, he looks up and see's the Quetzalcoatl heading straight towards him.  So what does he do?  Why, he does what any great man of science would do.  He get's this look on his face like he just crapped his pants and then dives head first into the bushes.  A perfectly rational reaction I think considering the circumstances.  Unfortunately, he didn't dive into the bushes far enough, and the Quetzalcoatl landed on him and killed him in what was actually a very comical scene.  Low on action, high on goof value.  I also noticed that the Quetzalcoatl isn't really all that big.  It's about the size of a semi-large dog and that's about it.  It's certainly not anything that a relatively strong man couldn't fight off with his bare hands.  It's actually rather funny because the thing just lands on him like it was tossed there or something and then it's only movement comes from him moving it while he struggles.  If I didn't know any better I'd say it almost looks like they're trying to get it on together.  Man this is goofy.  So anyway, he's dead now and the happy Quetzalcoatl heads on back to it's cell.  Why?  Well I'm not sure.  If I was freed from a cell I certainly wouldn't go back to it.  Doesn't really matter though.  He's back, and just as he was flying back in, Forbes was standing there looking at his watch like he was wondering what was taking the thing so long.  Jeez, it already killed someone for you ya ungrateful bastard, and now you wanna put it on a schedule?  Has anyone ever told you you're a schmuck?  Well they have now.  I'm actually feeling kinda schmucky myself for picking this movie to review.  So far it hasn't been all that fun.  Hope it get's better soon.

7.  A shot of a newspaper now.  There's a headline that says, "Scientist Victim of Unidentified Beast".  I can see the rest of the story now.  "Scientist found brutally murdered with a large feather sticking out of his bum.  The police are searching the Azteca area right now, trying desperately to find the strange creature and stop it before it can inspire Hollywood to make horribly awful films like Q: The Winged Serpent."  I like to take every opportunity I can to slam Q: The Winged Serpent because it totally and completely sucked monkey rectum.  I also enjoy doing it because my friend liked it, and I like to antagonize him whenever I can.  Anyway, another headline fades into the screen now.  It says, "Noted Ornithologist Dies Mysteriously".  And now yet another one.  This one says, "Horrible Death Of Scientist Remains Unsolved Mystery - Clues Lacking In Fantastic Murder".  Thankfully, that's the last one.  But now we don't just get to read about it.  Now we get to go inside a radio station where some announcer schmoe is talking about it.  He's doing this big announcement about the murder and about how Richard Thorpe, who has written many of the mystery shows broadcast by the radio station, has been commissioned to go out to Azteca to solve the mystery of the scientist's death.  So this guy gets on the mic and starts talking about werewolves and devil worshippers and prehistoric tribes and what not.  It's all pretty typical stuff for a movie from this time period.  The owner of the station says to Richard that he's staking the reputation of his station on him, and then the announcer schmoe asks him if he's going alone.  Richard says no, and that Louis Havener, an ornithologist has volunteered to help.  And then there's another fellow, a friend of his, Vance Bennett has offered to go along to help.  Back at the house, Professor Forbes and his daughter Mary are listening to Richard on the radio.  Mary gets all excited that Richard is on the case, but her father is less than thrilled and plays it off like it's no big deal.  There's not much here to goof about and frankly I've been working on this review on and off for about three weeks at this point and I'm pretty sick of the whole thing.  This movie better start gettin' good soon or I'm gonna have to hurt somebody.

8.  Ok so the investigation begins.  Naturally Professor Forbes isn't going to take that lying down, so he heads back to Azteca to get his little birdie friend all jazzed up again.  For some reason the film gets really dark here.  I got the brightness cranked and I can still barely see anything.  I guess the lighting engineer didn't show up for work that day.  Anyway, the professor walks over to the cage and snatches one of the Quetzalcoatl's feathers from between the bars again, and says in a semi-sinister voice, "Here's your clue Mr. Thorpe.".  Now I don't know why this Quetzalcoatl is so juiced about hanging onto that feather, but doesn't it seem stupid that he'd keep leaving it right next to the bars where the professor could keep snatching it away?  That doesn't make much sense at all.  At the very least you'd think he would be pulling back a bloody stump one of these times...but alas no.  There's still a half hour to go in this turd, so I guess I won't be that lucky.  At least not until the end anyway.

9.  San Juan County Jail.  That's what the sign on the outside of the building says.  Richard, Jerry Jones (who's his broadcast engineer and a total dufus), and Professor Havener all come walking into the sheriff's office and introduce themselves to the sheriff, Bill Hayes.  Bill looks like he's about to hit retirement age.  He doesn't seem overly impressed by Richard and the gang, but he's gonna help them out anyway.  Excuse me while I fall asleep...ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

10.  After a brief shot of that schmoe radio announcer talking about how Richard is going to be broadcasting the first step of his investigation, we go to a meeting room with a bunch of people in it including the local judge, the sheriff, Richard and the gang, Professor Forbes, Mary, the county medical examiner, and several others who shall remain nameless because they're like the anonymous extras that were just put there for filler.  The medical examiner and the sheriff are talking about the results of the autopsy in front of a mic, and everything said is being broadcast out through the radio.  The medical examiner says that there was only one injury, on the throat.  It was a jagged wound that went from one side of the neck to the other, and the juggler vein was completely severed.  The body itself was practically ready for embalming because all the blood had been drained out of it.  Now the sheriff is talking about how there wasn't any strange footprints or animal tracks near Lambert's body.  Richard asks the sheriff if the criminal couldn't have been a man or an animal.  The sheriff says that it couldn't have been a man or an animal, unless the killer had wings.  Richard said that that's what he wanted to establish, that the killer had wings.  Now they're talking to Professor Forbes.  The judge asks him when was the last time he saw Dr. Lambert.  Professor Forbes tells the judge about his visit to Dr. Lamberts house that we saw towards the beginning of the turd...uh...I mean movie.  Richard takes over the questioning.  He starts asking him about the Aztecs and the winged snake god that they worshipped.  Professor Forbes tells Richard that Quetzalcoatl was strictly a mythological creature.  Richard then asks him about the death of his wife and asks him if it didn't happen under very similar circumstances and couldn't the same creature have been responsible for both crimes?  The professor says yes but it would be a stretch to say that the two incidents were related.  Ok, enough with him, now we got Mary being questioned.  She's saying that Dr. Lambert was very excited about that possibility that such a creature could possibly still exist, and that if one did exist, that he had to find it.  Then she tells Richard about the feather.  He asks her to describe it and she's all, "Well it was pretty, and very odd.".  Uh...ok Mary, thanks for the detailed description there.  We're sure to solve this mystery now!  God, I'd give anything to see Scooby Doo and the gang come rolling into town in their Mystery Machine at this point.  At least it'd make this movie a little interesting.  Anyway, now they're talking to Superintendent Hastings.  He says that Dr. Lambert showed him the feather and asked him if he'd left it at his home while he was out.  He said no, and the Dr. Lambert left with the feather.  Richard then asks Hastings to describe the feather.  Big shock there huh?  It's not like Mary gave them anything to go on.  So what does Hastings say to this little inquiry?  He says, "Well, I'd would say it's just about as Ms. Forbes described it.".  Man, I sure as hell hope that neither of these people is around if I ever get robbed or murdered or something because they're both idiots.  I can see it now...

Police: "So what did the murderer look like?"
Mary: "Well he was a man.  A rather odd looking man."
Police: "What about you?  Can you give us a description?"
Hastings: "Well, I'd say he was pretty much as Mary described him."

Thanks guys!  Now I can rot in my grave in peace knowing that you two are helping the police find my killer.  Jeez, what a couple of morons.  Anyway, Richard is asking someone else now about Quetzalcoatl.  He says that the worship of Quetzalcoatl was not a bloodthirsty religion and that the human sacrifices were usually made to the sun god.  At this point, the unnamed anonymous people, who as it turns out are the jury panel at the inquest, go out to make their decision about the evidence presented.  They come back and say that they've determined that the death of Dr. Lambert was a murder.  Now how can it be a murder if some creature did it?  Jeez, just call animal control already and let them take care of it.  After the inquest is over, Mary says to Richard that she's positive that this is murder.  Then she says that he forgot to ask her something while she was on the stand.  He forgot to ask her if he could come calling at their house.  He says he didn't forget but that he didn't think that was the right time or place to ask.  She invites him over for tea in the afternoon but Professor Forbes says they better make it supper because he has to go out to Azteca in the afternoon.  Richard asks to go with him so he can see where the body was found, and the professor agrees.  Jeez that was a long scene.  Long and freakin' boring, just like the rest of this movie.

11. So it's the afternoon now, and Professor Forbes and Richard have just arrived at Azteca.  They stop the car and get out where Dr. Lambert's body was found.  Now this is pretty slick right here.  Richard asks the professor if there was any wind that day.  The professor says that what little wind there is comes from that direction.  When Richard turns around to look in the direction the professor was pointing, the professor pulls out the Quetzalcoatl feather and drops it on the ground where they found Lambert's body.  The professor then says his good bye's to Richard and tells him that he'll be back a little later on to pick him up.  Richard says good bye and the professor goes racing off.  After the professor leaves, the sheriff comes driving up.  He says that he heard that Richard was out there and he didn't want him getting too far ahead of him on this case.  Richard says that he's glad to have him and that he can use all the help he can get.  The sheriff says that it's like looking for a needle in a haystack, and then just as he says that, he turns around and they both spot the feather laying there on the ground.  He stops Richard from grabbing it and says that he wants Hastings there to identify it before they disturb it.  He sends Richard off in his car to fetch Hastings while he stands there to guard the feather.  Richard takes off, leaving the sheriff standing there and living on borrowed time.  As soon as Richard drives away, the sheriff picks up the feather and starts looking it over.  The he starts wandering around with it.  What the hell's up with that???  I thought he didn't want the feather disturbed?  Duh!  God this movie is stupid.  Naturally Professor Forbes let's the Quetzalcoatl out and naturally the sheriff bites it.  As he's biting it, or maybe I should say, it's biting him, Richard and Hastings come driving up.  Now how the hell did Richard go and get Hastings that fast?  He was only gone for a few minutes!  Anyway, the sheriff's dead.  No big loss there.

12.  Richard's back in his room now.  He's calling up the professor's house looking for Mary.  The professor says that she's in the bath and can't come to the phone.  Richard asks him if he can come over and scrub her back for her.  No, he didn't really ask that.  I'm just trying to make this movie a little more interesting.  It's not working though is it?  Anyway, he says that he's going up to the mountain and that he'll send Jonesy around to pick Mary up and bring her to the broadcast.  Just as they get off the phone, Mary comes out in a rather nice looking robe and asks who was on the phone.  The professor says that it was Richard and that he said that he was very sorry but he couldn't come out to pick her up for the broadcast.  Then he tells her to stay away from that mountain.  She doesn't understand why, but he just says, "You heard me!" and walks away.

13.  Back up on the mountain, Richard and Hastings find the feather again which just happens to be laying on the ground next to them.  That feather's really startin' to look ratty with all that it's been through in this movie.  I'd be nice if everyone had one of those feathers to pack around with them.  That way they'd all be dead and this movie could be over.  Sadly though, it's still got about 24 minutes left.  Anyway, Richard and Hastings bail out of there fast.  Back at the Pine Mountain Station, Louis Havener is examining the feather, and Mary is there to watch the broadcast of the current status of the investigation.  So while Louis continues his examination, Richard goes in to start his broadcast.  What none of them saw, was Professor Forbes watching Louis from outside the building.  I have a feeling we're going to be seeing the Quetzalcoatl again real soon.  Richard is doing his broadcast now and telling the story of what they saw.  He's describing the Quetzalcoatl and saying that he believes that only three living people have seen it.  Himself, Hastings, and the person controlling it.  As the broadcast continues, the Quetzalcoatl flies in through the window Louis was standing in front of, and kills him.  Mary walks out of the studio at that moment and into the other room where she sees what's happening and screams.  Richard comes running in and sees the Quetzalcoatl just as it takes off out of the window.  He pulls out a gun and shoots at it a couple of times without even really aiming, and then goes back into the broadcast room and announces on the radio that there's been another murder.

14.  Next day now, and Richard is doing another broadcast from in front of the San Juan City Hall.  He's asking Hastings to describe the flying serpent that they saw.  Now he's talking to some treasure hunter in the crowd who has something called a doodlebug.  Apparently it's some kind of an early metal detector, but it's like...just a box with a dial on it and what looks like a radio antenna.  Richard introduces the treasure hunter to Professor Forbes, and Forbes offers to help him in his search.  He says he's not interested in personal gain and that his interest is more from the scientific angle.  Suuuuuuure it is.  I guess the guy with the funny box will be put in a box himself soon enough.  Is this movie over yet?  No?  Ahhhh crap!

15.  Vance Bennett just arrived from Honduras.  He brought a Quetzalcoatl feather with him, only this one is vacuum sealed and in a wooden box.  Richard has figured out that the Quetzalcoatl is attracted to it's feathers by the scent.  Hence the vacuum sealing.  Richard has also figured out that someone must have stumbled upon the treasure and they're using Quetzalcoatl to protect it.  By the way, Vance Bennett was the "treasure hunter" that was outside of city hall when Richard was doing his broadcast.  He's got a plan to find out who the killer is, and that's part of it.  I sure hope it's a good plan so this movie can be over soon.  Oh great.  I swear this review is cursed.  My monitor just went all funky on me.  Fortunately it appears it was just a bad connection.  Hopefully I can get this thing finished before my motherboard blows out or somethin'.  Anyway, Richard tells Vance that he suspects Forbes of being the killer and then explains his brilliant plan.  Unfortunately, we don't get to hear that brilliant plan, because the scene fades out just as he starts explaining it.  I wish this whole movie would fade right out of existence at this point.

16.  So it's the next day now, and Professor Forbes and Vance are out walking around with the metal detector.  While the professor's not looking, Vance drops his Quetzalcoatl feather on the ground and then pretends to find it.  The professor looks all bugged out and asks him where he got that.  Vance says that it was just laying there on the ground.  The professor says that it looks like a very rare feather and says that he should keep it.  Vance says he thinks he'll do that and sticks the feather in his breast pocket of his coat.  Professor Forbes quickly excuses himself at this point and scoots off like a scared little bitch.  Vance waits until he's out of sight and then scoots through the bushes where Richard is hiding in a cave with a big iron gate over the entrance.  Richard pushes the gate aside and then comes out and lets Vance go into the cave.  Vance is to wait in there while Richard follows the professor.  The professor releases the Quetzalcoatl and Richard watches it fly off through a pair of binoculars.  Jonesy is wandering around out there now, and he spots the Quetzalcoatl coming towards him and takes off running.  He falls down like the big dumb klutz that he is, but at least he had the sense to fall down right in front of the cave.  Vance pushes the gate aside, drags Jonesy into the cave, and pulls the gate back over the entrance just in the nick of time.  Quetzalcoatl comes flying down and smacks head first into the gate.  Vance and Jonesy are holding the gate closed with a chain that's attached to it while the really ticked off Quetzalcoatl is trying to get his head through the bars so he can eat them all up.  Jonesy asks Vance what the thing wants, and Vance says that it probably wants this, at which time he pulls the feather from his coat and gives it to the creature.  The creature flies off back to the cage, and Vance and Jonesy breathe a sigh of relief.  See, at this point I'm sure they really need to be gettin' out of that cave too since both of them have probably crapped their pants and the air in there is gettin' thicker by the second.

17.  Quetzalcoatl flies back to his cell with the feather, and Professor Forbes assumes that he's killed Vance.  He then puts on a leather glove and tells Quetzalcoatl that he needs just one more feather.  Then he's all, "There's one inquisition you won't broadcast Mr. Thorpe...your own."  Yeah bitch, you're a big talker now.  You just wait till that Quetzalcoatl gets a hold of you at the end of this picture.  Then you'll wish you had gotten yourself a job in a decent picture instead of this turd.  You'll be sorry my friend.  Very sorry......

18.  Uh...what the hell???  All of a sudden the scene changes and Professor Forbes is back at his house.  How come they did grab him out in the ruins instead of just taking off and letting him get away?  That doesn't make any sense at all!  Anyway, he's on the phone leaving a message for Richard.  Then as he gets off the phone, Mary comes walking in holding a Quetzalcoatl feather.  The professor very calmly asks her where she got it and she says that she found it on the floor in his bedroom.  He tells her that he found it yesterday out at the ruins.  Mary tells him that because he's been spending so much time out at the ruins, that people are starting to connect him to the killings.  She says that she knows that it was that creature who killed her mother and she knows that the feather is somehow connected to the murders.  She says that she feels like he's hiding something, and he says that he is hiding something, but he doesn't want anyone to know about it until he discovers the key to the Aztec language.  She's all, "Oh so that's what it is!"  Man, how gullible can you get?  Anyway, it comes out at this point too that he's actually her step father and not her real father after all.  I mean, they already knew that but we didn't.  Seems kinda odd that they have the same last name though since most kids keep their original father's last name.  Oh well.  I only have to survive for about eight and a half more minutes.  I guess after suffering this long, I can make it through that much more.
19.  Richard is now broadcasting from the treasure chamber of Montezuma.  He says that he tricked the slayer of all those people into revealing it's secret location, and that as soon as he finishes this broadcast, he's going to go swear an affidavit against the killer.  He goes on to explain the method of the murders and then suddenly, something goes wrong with the equipment.  Jonesy is trying to fix it, but it's going to be at least another five minutes.  Richard and Vance are both standing there waiting for him to fix it, and in the mean time, Professor Forbes and Mary drive up and they go into the treasure chamber together.  Forbes lights a torch and leads her deeper into the chamber where he lights some oil lamps attached to the wall.  He shows her Montezuma's treasure, but as he's showing it to her, Jonesy gets the radio box fixed, and the mic that's laying on the ground starts picking up their conversation.  Richard heads back to the chamber to rescue Mary and to stop Forbes from killing again.  Forbes grabs another feather from Quetzalcoatl's cage.  Just as he does, Richard comes in and smacks him up against the lever that opens Quetzalcoatl's cage.  The professor runs out, still holding the feather like a big dumb moron, and Quetzalcoatl runs him down and kills him.  Richard comes running up and shoots Quetzalcoatl several times.  Quetzalcoatl takes off, but then after one more shot, he falls out of the sky and dies.  The movie ends with Richard on the broadcast mic saying how he and Mary are going to be married and they're never going to think about any of this ever again.  Um, they haven't even been on a date.  Why the hell are they gonna get married now all of a sudden?  Man this movie's stupid.  I'm so incredibly glad it's over now. 



Best Quote

Doctor Lambert: "What's Andrew been doing now?  Making sheep's eyes at some young widow?"
Mary: "Father isn't interested in women...since mother died."



- John asking Mary what her father's been up to. - (Reviewer's Note: Oh man, that was a seriously uncomfortable moment.  I'm sure there's a gay joke to be made in there somewhere too, but I'll leave that up to you all to figure out.)




Video Clip
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The Flying Serpent
This thing kinda reminds me of a pissy little chihuahua shoving it's head through a doggie door trying to get to a cat on the other side. This is about the best look at the thing's head that we ever get in this movie.



The Conclusion
Ok, this review has taken me three weeks to write.  Not because I've put a lot of extra effort into it, but because I've been really tired from work and I've found it really difficult to find the ambition to finish this thing.  Maybe if the movie had been better, I would have had it done sooner.  I wasn't even really planning to review this movie any time soon but it became a back-up choice when my Attack of the Crab Monsters DVD turned out to be a piece of junk with an unusable film transfer.

Because of all the problems I've had getting this thing done, and because of all the smack I was giving it in the What The Hell??? section, you may be expecting me to give this film a Bat rating.  Truth be told, that's what I really do feel like giving it, but I won't, because it doesn't deserve it.  I will be honest here though when I say that this film has some very serious problems.

First of all, it's a little too short, and feels like there's some missing bits here and there.  It's also sadly has the unenviable quality of being quite boring.  The action in this film is less than unbelievable, and doesn't really do a whole lot to inspire the imagination of even the dimmest of viewers.  The monster itself is really cheap looking, and worst of all, it's small!  I mean, when you think of this great Aztec god flying around, you wouldn't picture it as being about the size of a relatively large dog.  This monster should have been at least four or five times the size it was.  The simple fact is, as presented, it was way too small to be even the least bit fearsome.

Then we have the question of why the hell Professor Forbes didn't just take the damn treasure out of the cave and haul it off somewhere instead of killing off all these people to protect his secret?  Oh, and just how the hell was Richard able to solve this thing so quickly?  He didn't even really put all that much effort into solving the mystery.  Hell, the kids on Scooby Doo put more effort into their investigations.  All the clues just fell into place for him and he was easily able to discover that it was Professor Forbes that was controlling the creature.  I don't even want to get into how stupid it was for Professor Forbes to go running off with the feather at the end, much less how stupid it was that Mary and Richard are getting married at the end of the movie even though they had never really developed any kind of a romantic relationship whatsoever.  I could go on for hours about what's wrong with this film, but I think you get the idea, so I'll go ahead and tell you about the very few things that were actually good in this film.

The acting was good, and was more or less believable despite some of the horrible things that were written for these people to say.  There were plenty of shots of the monster flying around and killing people even though the monster itself looked pretty stupid.  I mean, I like a cheesy lookin' monster as much as all of you do, but this thing was just stupid looking.  There was an obvious lack of thought and craftsmanship that went into making this thing, and I really believe that a well crafted monster would have made this film way better.  But like I said, at least we get to see it.  It wasn't one of those movies where you only get to see the monster in the last two minutes.  Um...let's see here.  What else can I say about this movie that was good?  Let me think about this for a second here.  Hmmmmmm....   Well, I can't really think of much else good to say.  The Flying Serpent was supposedly a remake of an earlier film called The Devil Bat, which starred the immortal Bela Lugosi.  Having seen The Devil Bat, I can honestly say that the similarities do exist in the plots, but are superficial at best.  Another more modern film, Q: The Winged Serpent is an even more horribly crappy remake of this one.  In fact, Q: The Winged Serpent makes this film look like a five Bee extravaganza.  That's how bad it was.

So where does that leave us?  Well, despite all the bad things that I've talked about here, I believe that if I actually sat down and watched this thing from start to finish, without stopping to do any writing, it wouldn't really be all that horrible of an experience.  It's not that great of a movie, but then again, I've seen a hell of a lot worse.  I feel like I've lost three weeks of my life writing this review, but looking back on it now, I think I can fairly comfortably give this movie two bees.  I just hope I don't end up looking back on it later and find myself regretting it.

B-Movie Central's Rating: 2 Bees

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Unseen Things: Origins



My series of contemporary fantasy / sci-fi novels, Unseen Things is now available through the official website, Amazon, Smashwords and other online retail sites.

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