Reptilicus

Year Of Release: 1962
Running Time: 88 Minutes
DVD Released By: MGM: Midnite Movies
Directed By: Poul Bang, Sidney W. Pink
Writing Credits: Ib Melchior, Sidney W. Pink (also story)
Filming Location: Copenhagen, Denmark

Starring: Carl Ottosen, Ann Smyrner, Mimi Heinrich, Asbjørn Andersen, Bodil Miller, Bent Mejding, Povl Wøldike, Dirch Passer, Ole Wisborg

Tagline: A prehistoric beast born 50 million years out of time!

Alternate Titles:
I was unable to find any reference to alternate titles for this film.

Interesting Bits of Trivia:
I was unable to find anything interesting to say about this film or anyone in it.




Cast Of Characters
Professor Otto Martens: He's the smarter of the two scientists and he's got two hot daughters. Unfortunately for him he also has a bad heart which causes him some problems later in the film. He's the only one to really get in the general's face and make him realize what would happen if he did manage to blow the creature to bits. There was a lot of yelling in that scene. I think a baseball bat upside the general's head would have gotten the point through a lot faster.

Dr. Peter Dalby: Professor Martens' associate. When we first meet Dr. Dalby, he's wearing a hat just like Kyle from South Park. I thought it would be funny if he took it off and had a big afro pop out just like Kyle's. Unfortunately, he's just got the typical old geezer slicked back gray hair under there. It's a shame to see comedic potential so totally wasted. I mean seriously now. Picture this guy with a big afro and tell me that's not funny.

Svend Viltorft: Ok seriously now, I didn't make up that name. That's the actual name of the character. Don't it look like a bunch of scrambled up tiles from the Scrabble game? Anyway, he's an engineer who started out the movie looking for copper but instead ended up finding Reptilicus. So if anyone's gonna get a bitch slappin' for starting this whole mess, it's him.

Karen Martens: She has a pouty look here and for good reason. Her screen time is about to run out. She's not in the movie very much which is probably a good thing considering that she's more of an airhead than anything else and would most likely just get in the way. She likes to throw herself at cute guys, as does her sister. Unfortunately for her, her sister is a lot better at it.

Lise Martens: She's Karen's older sister and her top rival for all the cute guys in Copenhagen. She's actually in the movie quite a bit and even manages to help out at the end. The fact that she's really nice to look at is just a bonus.

Connie Miller: She's also nice to look at. She's an American scientist who was sent to help out Dr. Martens with his studies on the newly discovered creature. The general's got a thing for her. I think Lise does too. But you'll read about that later.

General Mark Grayson: Now there's a "duh" face if I've ever seen one. This guy is pissy one minute, Mr. Casanova the next, then he's a tour guide, then he's a general again. This guy needs to just settle into one character so we can deal with him.

Petersen: This is the barnyard rube they got to work as a security guard for them at the lab. Doesn't he look like he's getting a prostate exam in this picture?




The Plot
When a group of mining engineers drills a core sample in the Laplands and comes up with bloody meat and bone on the end of their drill, they call in a pair of Danish scientists to investigate. What they discovered was a huge reptilian creature that was somewhere between fifty and one hundred million years old. The tail of the beast was recovered from the site and brought back to the university labs at Copenhagen where it was frozen in a special freezer. When the door is left open on the freezer accidentally and the tissue thaws out, it is discovered that not is the tissue still alive, but it is regenerating. What it regenerates into causes destruction and chaos throughout the city and in the seas as well. Can the military and the scientists join forces to stop this incredible beast from the distant past? Only time will tell...



What The Hell???
1. Ok the first scene in this movie is just nasty. Copper miners, drilling down into the earth, bring their drill up and find that there's blood on the end of it. After moving the end of the drill over into a wheelbarrow, they take a hammer and knock this big, huge slab of meat out of the ridges on the drill. The guy says it's a big piece of skin, like leather. It looks more like a big slab of bloodied up raw liver or something similar. Obviously this guy's a vegetarian if he can't even tell the difference between a piece of skin and a slab of meat. Damn vegans. Somebody get this guy a hamburger quick!

2. Oh damn, there's a hell of a lot more in the drill than meat. There's bones too. No wonder Reptilicus is so pissed off. That must have seriously hurt. I hope he comes above ground and eats these guys soon so they can be replaced with some people who can actually act.

3. Uh oh, the meat in the wheelbarrow is moving! It's alive!!! Ever notice how when a slab of meat is alive in one of these movies, it never moves until everyone walks away?
4. Some scientists and a reporter join the miners within hours after the find. They sit around the campfire and discuss what the creature could be. They then decide to take the creature back to Copenhagen for study. Yeah, that's smart.
5. I've just discovered that Danish chicks look pretty hot even when they're in lab coats.
6. Svend is coming in at the airport with a bunch more bones they found near the original ones.

7. After the two scientists show Svend the specimens and tell him about the creature, Dr. Martens' daughters come and steal Svend away. They both escort him out of the lab, each one holding an arm. They're totally both trying to get him. Man, if this is what Danish girls are like, then I definitely gotta go to Denmark someday.

8. The two Dr's just brought in this guy named Petersen to act as a security guard and to keep an eye on things in the lab. When I say security guard, I don't mean a real security guard though. This guy is just some rube from the farm in bib overalls who looks like he's got just enough IQ points to keep him breathing.
9. Dr. Dalby shows this security dork they hired the freezing chamber where they're storing part of the beast they've discovered. He makes it a point to show the guy the thermometer on the front of the chamber and he tells him that it's not to drop below a certain temperature. Gee I wonder what's going to happen to the temperature in the chamber? Even a dumb blonde could see what's coming next.
10. Gee, guess what's next. Dr. Dalby goes into the lab in the middle of the night and cuts a small sample of tissue off the tail section of the creature that's in the freezer. The flesh on that thing sure is flexible for a piece of meat that's supposed to be frozen. Too bad he didn't latch the door to the freezer good when he walked out. Too bad the temperature in the freezer rose and the tail thawed out and started dripping blood and icky stuff all over the freezer floor. Too bad Dalby told the dorky security guard that he didn't have to hang around because he planned to be working in the lab all night. Man, this was a crappy night for good ol' Dr. Dalby. It's a good thing he slept through most of it.
11. Dr. Martens is all ticked off when he finds out that Dr. Dalby let the tail thaw out. His daughter Lise notices that the wound on the tail is healing and then Dr. Martens examines it and realizes that the tissue has come back to life. Now I don't know about him, but that would scare the crap out of me. I'd crank that freezer up big time and re-freeze the damn thing.
12. In the next scene we see Dr. Martens talking to Connie Miller, a visiting scientist who's come to study the tail section of the creature. She also happens to be an attractive woman. While he's talking to her, his daughter Lise is standing there listening and totally checkin' out Connie. I mean checkin' her out big time. I knew Danish girls were cool.
13. An American general comes in and introduces himself. This guy's a dork, and he's rude as well. Why do the generals in these movies always have to act like this?

14. Just once in these movies I'd like the scientists in these movies to actually tell us what's in all the damn beakers all over their labs. There's always all kinds of colored liquids in them but they never say what it is.

15. After sticking his hand in a tank with an electric eel and getting himself electrocuted, like the dork that he is, he hears something in the regeneration chamber and freaks out. He hits the alarm and everyone comes running. Turns out it was just an involuntary muscle contraction in the regenerating tail and nothing more.
16. The general is sitting around the office being a pissy old bastard, as generals in these movies usually do, when the young Danish captain comes in and suggests that he might cheer up if he goes into the city and has a look around. So what does he do? He grabs Connie and heads out on a whirlwind tour of the city. Suddenly he's Mr. Cool driving Connie around in his little red convertible. He must have been keeping his good personality in the trunk of his car too because he pulled it out for the drive through town. He was happy and charming and having a good ol' time. Maybe he should make this his primary personality and keep the other one in the trunk. I think he'd be a lot happier. He also becomes Mr. Tour guide as well as we suddenly find out that he's an expert on Denmark, it's landmarks, it's history, and it's culture. Oh man this whole scene is seriously out of character for him. Whoever wrote this oughta be smacked for having him break character this severely.
17. Ok that's enough tourist footage of Denmark now thank you.
18. So after inviting the captain along with them for dinner, they finally sit down in a restaurant called Tivoli. We're then treated to a really bad singer chick singing a stupid song about Tivoli Nights. I mean seriously, she's a horrible singer and not much to look at either. What the hell did any of this have to do with the rest of the movie?
19. Back to the lab now. We find Dr. Dalby working late again. We're also treated to a really fake looking thunder and lightning storm. This is the part where the lights go out and the monster, now fully regenerated, escapes from his confinement. Oh, and did I mention the phones are out as well, so Dalby can't even call for help. Fortunately he has Petersen there to send for help. So how does he go for help? He's got a bicycle outside.
20. So the monster has now escaped and is bigger than the laboratory. Apparently he was a bit peckish after all that regenerating and had Dr. Dalby for a late night snack.
21. Man, Lise wears some really cute dresses. There's something so fetish about the dresses she wears.
22. Now that the monster's escaped, the general sets up a search coordination center and organizes everything. Now here's my question. Why??? How the hell hard could it be to find a prehistoric creature who's bigger than a friggin' science lab wandering around Copenhagen???
23. Well, that didn't take long. Someone called in and reported seeing the creature at a small farm on the coast. He ate a cow and left it's bloody head on the ground. Actually, the farmer's saying now that he ate fourteen cows, not just one. Damn, now that's some seriously mean hunger. Not like a fat woman at a chinese buffet, but still pretty damn serious. I wonder if Reptilicus asked the farmer for any Grey Poupon?
24. Um, Svend's driving the general's jeep for him. Where the hell did he come from all of a sudden? I guess he finally recovered from what Dr. Martens daughters did to him. I wonder if they took any pictures? I know the midget in the clown suit sitting in the corner had to have had a camera. Midgets always have cameras. Sometimes they have Polaroids even. The more talented ones can even make charcoal sketches. Ummmm, nevermind. I'll just move on now.
25. Finally at forty one minutes and ten seconds into the movie we get a good look at the monster. We even get to see a cheeseball, fake looking, animated puke shot coming out of his mouth. I don't know what the point of that was really though considering that they didn't even show where the puke went.
26. Hahahahaha. Now there's an effect you don't see every day. Reptilicus busts into this farmhouse and picks the farmer up in his mouth and starts eating him. Except the effect of the farmer in his mouth looks more like a colorform character placed over the movie footage. It's hilarious.
27. The monster just puked more of that fake looking animated puke all over the farmyard.

28. Ok they're shooting it with a flamethrower now and it's screaming like a little bitch and puking green goop all over the place. I hope the army guys brought a big mop with them.

29. Now that he's crawled off into the ocean, they got the navy out looking for him. They find him on the ocean floor and start dropping depth charges all over the place. Why is it that Dr. Martens and Connie neglected to tell the general all this time that if they blow up the creature into little pieces, that it'll grow into a whole bunch of little Reptilicus monsters. Unfortunately, Dr. Martens went out to warn them, but had a heart attack on the way.
30. I was just wondering where the hell Karen's been all this time. Lise's getting all this face time in this movie, and poor Karen hasn't had hardly any. Karen's at the hospital with their father and Connie and Lise go there as well but they never go to a scene there. Karen still isn't getting any face time, poor kid.
31. Reptilicus returns and leaves a trail of destruction throughout the seas. Ships are destroyed all over the place, but there's no actual sightings until he comes up on a beach full of teenagers and pukes green animated puke all over them. The Danish have a lot to learn from the Japanese about making cheap monster movies.
32. Reptilicus comes and attacks the city and we're treated to a couple of scenes of people running for their lives. If you watch the young guy in front, a little to the left, he's smiling as he's running. He must be the brother of the slave chick who was smiling in At The Earth's Core when Doug McClure got knocked back into her by the big hippo beast.
33. Now they're shooting at him and we're treated to more puke and more people running. Reptilicus has tiny little flipper baby arms and he's meandering through the city destroying stuff. I think the military is doing far more damage to the city than the monster ever could.
34. Oh look! More people running and more green puke. Wow, I could watch these people running all night. Oh wait, that's what I'm doing. I wish the monster would just puke acid slime on these people and get it over with.
35. The running people reach a drawbridge just as the freaked out drawbridge operator raises it. Do the people stop when they see the drawbridge raised? Well some do. Unfortunately however, a whole bunch of people at the front of the crowd ran right of the edge and dropped into the water like a bunch of lemmings.
36. Why are they shooting at this thing? Don't they realize that even if they knock off a chunk of meat that it's going to grow into a whole other monster? Idiots. The general is still talking about driving him out of the city so they can hit him with the heavy stuff. Is this guy really that brain dead?
37. Seriously, there would have been a lot less destruction if they had just let it wander through the city and then leave on it's own. They're blowin' up the whole damn place.
38. Well Karen finally came in with her father for about a minute and a half. Then he had chest pains again and she left with him. I bet she got paid about a buck ninety-eight for her performance in this movie. She sure as hell isn't in it very much.
39. Drugs are bad, Mmmkay. At least they're gonna be bad for Reptilicus, 'cause that's what they're gonna use to bring him down. Just as a side note, I'm getting really sick of these scenes of the people of the city running away. They way overdid it with these scenes, even moreso than they did with the tourist scenes earlier.
40. I just noticed that these army guys don't have any of the neat little toy jets like the Japanese people got. You know, the one's they shoot at Godzilla with.
41. So the general shoots the drug into Reptilicus' mouth with a bazooka and Reptilicus passes out. That's a damn good shot when you consider he's shooting it with a bazooka into the mouth of a monster that's moving around all over the place.
42. Now the movie's over and we're treated to one last scene of an arm they blew off he creature while it was in the ocean, regenerating and growing. I don't think they ever made a movie called Son of Reptilicus though.



Best Quote

Karen: "Is he handsome father?"
Professor Martens: "No. He has three eyes, and a false moustache."

 

- Karen asking her father about Svend who she's supposed to go pick up at the airport. - (Reviewer's Note: This girl is kind of an airhead and only seems interested in scoring with cute guys. I guess it's true what they say about Danish girls. Just as a side note, Karen looks nothing like her sister Lise. Lise is a blonde while Karen has more of a brownish-auburn colored hair. I guess Karen was a milkman baby.)




Video Clip
When prompted, enter bmovie for the username and central for the password.

Reptilicus
No monster in this scene, but it was probably about the best scene in the movie, not to mention the funniest. Petersen has a close encounter with an electric eel and then hears something that scares the hell out of him.



The Conclusion

As this was a Danish monster flick and the Danish aren't know for their filmmaking greatness, I went into this movie not expecting too much. It was this lack of expectation that kept me from being too disappointed at what I did get. There's a lot of b-movie material here but not a whole lot of that b-movie goodness that goes with it. The only real bright spot in the movie is that Dr. Martens daughter Lise is very nice to look at and only gets better as the film goes on. Unfortunately, that's about where the good points end.

The monster animation was very bad and almost all of the monster scenes were out of focus just enough to be annoying. There were way too many tourist shots and way way too many scenes of people running for their lives. It got repetitive and old really quick. The characters in this movie had no depth to them and I found it hard to really care about any of them except for Lise and that was only because she was so nice to look at. Character wise though there really wasn't anything there.

The general was probably the most poorly written character in the whole movie. His constant personality changes and lack of any military discipline or tactical skill, was totally unrealistic. How much sense does this make? The general calls off the navy in one scene because he finds out that if they blow up the creature, they're going to end up with a whole bunch of new ones in it's place, and then later on he's hell bent on blowing it up again when he already knows what will happen if he does. Even a third world peon in some two-bit military outfit would know better than to try to blow the thing up after knowing what would happen if they did.

The special effects were a whole different story. The acid puke the monster was spewing out was just an animated spew that would have even looked horribly bad in an old Superfriends cartoon. The scene where the monster was supposedly eating some farmer was horribly done and the colorform looking farmer in the monster's mouth just looked ridiculous. There's really very little that's redeeming about this movie, but it wasn't actually incredibly bad either. There were some funny parts and a lot of stuff to rip on that made the whole experience not too bad at all. Is this a good movie? No it isn't. Is it fun to watch? Yeah, it kinda is. That's why I'm going to give it the semi-decent rating of...

Update: It was recently pointed out to me by a reader that this film was actually produced by Americans. This is true, however, the cast in this film as well as many members of the crew, including the executive producer, one of the writers and one of the directors were all Danish. So technically this is a Danish monster flick. Director and writer Sydney W. Pink however was in fact American and Samuel Z. Arkoff, also American is listed as one of the film's producers, though I don't know how much he was actually involved in any of it. Arkoff's involvement seems to have been primarily in the American distribution of the film. Arkoff, who was head of American International Pictures, had the actors voices dubbed in the American release because he thought that the Danish accents of the actors would be considered silly by American audiences and that the film would not be taken seriously because of this. Arkoff was subsequently sued by Sydney W. Pink over this issue, but after Pink showed the original version of the film to other industry professionals, apparently they agreed with Arkoff and the case was dropped.

B-Movie Central's Rating: 2 Bees

Purchase this film from Amazon:
or

Purchase this film from Movies Unlimited:

Unseen Things: Origins



My series of contemporary fantasy / sci-fi novels, Unseen Things is now available through the official website, Amazon, Smashwords and other online retail sites.

BMC Facebook Page




Donations

If you enjoy this site, please consider making a donation.

alt

Affiliates




Login Form