Prehistoric Women

Year Of Release: 1950
Running Time: 74 Minutes
DVD Released By: Alpha Video
Directed By: Gregg C. Tallas
Writing Credits: Gregg C. Tallas, Sam X. Abarbanel
Filming Location: Corriganville, Ray Corrigan Ranch, Simi Valley, California, USA

Starring: David Vaile, Laurette Luez, Allan Nixon, Johann Petursson, Janet Scott, Joan Shawlee, Mara Lynn, Kerry Vaughn, Judy Landon, Jo-Carroll Dennison, Tony Devlin, Denny Dengate, James Summers, Jeanne Sorel, Janet Shaw

Tagline: SAVAGE! PRIMITIVE! DEADLY!

Alternate Titles:
Virgin Goddess, The (1950) (USA) (reissue title)

Interesting Bits of Trivia:
Actress Laurette Luez, who plays Tigri in this film, claims to have given Marilyn Monroe her stage name. The two met in acting class and she suggested that Norma Jean Baker (Marilyn's real name) select a stage name from names that were already famous. The name "Marilyn" came from actress Marilyn Miller, and the name "Monroe" came from President James Monroe. Laurette was also at one point engaged to Samuel Goldwyn Jr. but broke it off to marry Greek-born director Gregg C. Tallas. The two were divorced just three months later.

 

 

Rogue Reviewers Round Table Review: April 2004
Review Topic: "Caveman Roundtable"




Cast Of Characters
(Reviewer's Note: There were a lot of characters in this movie. These are most of the main ones. It was really hard to get screenshots of them because of the quality of the film and the lack of good close ups.)
Tigri: She's the daughter of Tana, the founder of their tribe, and since Tana's dead, so that pretty much makes Tigri the alpha female of the group. She gets all hot for Engor, but she doesn't know why. Come to that, I don't know why either. He's kind of a dork.

Engor: This is Engor. He's not the leader of his people, but he is the leader of the group of guys he hangs out with. Now that's not saying much since they pretty much got the snot kicked out of them by a bunch of chicks, so I guess what I really should say is that he's the head wuss.

Guadi The Giant: I make a few Cheech & Chong references in the screenshot section about this guy because the first thing that popped into my head when I saw him was, "Hey! It's Chong!". Anyway, this guy is just a brute that wanders around, kidnaps women, and generally terrorizes everyone he comes across. I do have to say though that the other reference that came to mind when I saw this guy was the sasquatch that appeared in a couple of episodes of The Six Million Dollar Man.

The Wise One: How smart do you have to be to be called The Wise One in a village full of cavegirls? I mean, it's not like she had a whole lot of competition for the title now is it? You can pretty much figure out what her part was in this movie. She basically told the girls they had to capture themselves some men so they could reproduce and keep the tribe going. Maybe she should have told them that men have a hard time getting in the mood when they're being smacked around and beaten with clubs.

Arva, The Usurper: This chick was really hot. She was way hotter than Tigri, so I don't know why they worked so hard to make Tigri look like the hot one. In fact, there were several chicks in this movie that were hotter than her. Anyway, she's called The Usurper because she decides that she wants Engor and she tries to take him from Tigri. Tigri don't like that, and a cat fight ensues. Unfortunately for Engor, Tigri wins.

Kama: Doesn't this guy look like Matt Stone? I mean, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin' but I think Depeche Mode is a sweet band! No wait, what was I saying? Oh yeah, this guy totally looks like Matt Stone, only a little beefier. He's one of Engor's boys and fortunately for everyone, through a happy accident, he also discovered that you can cook meat. Engor's the one that actually tasted the meat though after it was cooked and discovered that it tasted good. I guess that's why he's the leader. Kama said, "I'm not gonna try it. You try it," and Tigri said, "I'm not gonna try it. You try it," and Kama said, "Let's get Engor," and Tigri said, "Yeah! He'll eat anything!"

Tana, Mother of Tigri: Tana was in this movie for about five minutes at the most. She basically turned on the men of her tribe and then after clocking the head jerk in the noggin with a rock, she took all the women and left to start her own tribe. She was doin' ok too until she ran into Guadi and got a noggin konkin' of her own.




Screen Shots

This is what happens when you push a menstrual crampin' cavewoman too far. You get a big rock bounced off the side of your head. Fortunately, with this guy, brain damage could only be an improvement.

"Grrrrrrr, grrrrrr, grrrrrrr..., oh hey man I can't do that anymore, my throat's sore. Hey, has anyone seen Cheech around? I heard his cousin Strawberry got in a shipment of some really dynamite Afghani hash, but we gotta get over there before that stupid Ajax lady smokes it all up man."

"Period...strong...body...weak...can't hold on...much...longer..."

I was trying to think of something funny to say about this shot, and a lot of things came to mind, but I think this one would be funnier if I just let you come up with your own. There's probably a million things that could be going on in this shot, but only about three of them are clean.

Woohoo! Prehistoric bondage girls gone wild! If it wasn't for the embarrassing beatings these guys took beforehand, they'd have probably been enjoying themselves.

"Oochie woochie coochie coo! Ooooh you're just so cute!"

"Hey there sailor. How'd you like to have a couple of girlfriends for an hour or so? It'll only cost you three pointy rocks, two bones and a leopard skin. How about it?"

"Holy Jesus! Hey wake up man!!! I dropped my roach on the couch and now the whole place is on fire! Hey Cheech! Come on man we gotta get out of here!"




Best Quote

"Suddenly, Ahd falls unconscious. Engor and his tribesmen are amazed to see that they've been attacked by members of the weaker sex."



- This is the narrator describing the scene we're watching. There's no real dialogue in this movie other than the narration and some caveman talk. - (Reviewer's Note: These guys didn't just get attacked, they got their butts kicked big time. Those cave chicks had slings and a seemingly endless supply of rocks and they hammered these guys. I mean sure it was pretty cool that they were attacking them so they could take them back for mating, but still, if I was these guys I'd be pretty embarrassed.)




Video Clip
When prompted, enter bmovie for the username and central for the password.

Prehistoric Women
Tigri and Arva have a sweet cat fight while Engor sits up in the tree like a dork and watches. It's funny too because at the end Tigri looks around at the other chicks like Ash did when he crawled out of the pit in Army of Darkness and gave everyone that, "Who wants some?" look.



Summary and Conclusion

Prehistoric Women wasn't actually my first choice for this particular roundtable, but I'm glad I ended up doing it. I came into this movie expecting it to be really boring and crappy like the last couple of films I reviewed, so it was a pleasant surprise for me when that turned out not to be the case at all.

The plot in this movie was simple. A tribe of cavegirls are told by their wise old woman that they must find husbands and reproduce so the tribe can survive. To that end, the girls go out looking for men and happen upon a hunting party consisting of four guys from a tribe of cave dwellers that live in the mountains. They capture the men, and then a battle of wills to see who the dominant sex will be ensues.

That sounds simple enough now doesn't it? And it is simple, but that's not to say there wasn't anything at all about this film that surprised me, because that's not the case at all. There were in fact many things that surprised me about this film.

The first thing that surprised me about this film was that it was in color. This film was made in 1950, and back then color film was quite expensive and there weren't a lot of movies done in color because of the cost involved. Most of the films shot on color film at the time were bigger budget productions from the major studios. I don't know if this film being shot in color was a good thing or not though, because over the years the quality of the film they used for the transfer to this DVD became quite bad. A lot of the scenes in this movie were overly dark, and some of the semi-dark scenes ended up with a purplish hue to them. The ones that weren't dark tended to lean towards the dark side and raising the brightness didn't help much. Now that's not to say that the movie is unwatchable, because that's not the case at all. The film is fine in pretty much every part but the night scenes. Those are the only ones that get really dark to the point where it's hard to see much of anything. Looking back on it, I think I'd have to say that the film would have looked better visually in black and white, and the black and white film would have held up better over time, but if it had been done in black and white, it would have lost something. This is a film that should have been shot in color, and that was a good decision on the part of the film makers.

The second thing that surprised me about this movie, is that it was narrated. Now a lot of movies have some narration here and there, but this movie had a narrator for a reason. The only other dialogue in this movie besides the narration was the caveman talk that the characters all spoke to each other. Now this was nice, because in a movie like this you'd expect them to do something stupid like have them all talking English to each other, but they didn't go that route, and instead chose to have the actors all speak a highly limited form of cave speak to each other. I was really happy to see that, because if they had all been speaking English, it would have just been stupid and it would have ruined all the fun.

As I sat here watching this film, I found some questions popping into my head every now and then that really nagged at me. Things like, why do these people all look like hollywood actors? These were supposed to be cave people, and yet they weren't overly hairy, they didn't have shaggy hair, they didn't have any makeup to make their brows lower or anything. They just looked like regular actor types. One of the big things I was questioning was why all but one of the guys in Engor's group were clean shaven. I was pleasantly surprised later on in the film when they actually explained that by saying that one of them had a fetish for being clean shaven, so he would scrape a sharpened rock against his face to get the hair off. I thought it was kinda cool that they actually touched on that since I'm sure that most of you would probably be wondering the same thing. The only one of Engor's group that wasn't actually clean shaven had one of those "chin strap" beards. You know, the kind with no moustache. They all had short hair too, but the sharpened rock pretty much explains that away too.

One other thing that didn't make a lot of sense to me was the switching back and forth of dominance between the men and the women. It started out with the men of Tana's tribe being dominant, and then Tana cracked the leader on the head with a rock and went off to form her own tribe where the women were dominant. Later on, when those girls grew up, they beat the snot out Engor's boys and captured them so they could have husbands. Then later on, after Engor himself is captured as well, he ends up saving Tigri and the rest of her tribe from a vicious pterodactyl that's been terrorizing them for ages, and suddenly the men are the dominant ones and the women are waiting on them hand and foot. The dominance roles were slipping back and forth far too easily and far too abruptly, and it was for that reason alone that I knocked off one half of a bee from the rating. It's not a big deal, but it did kind of bother me a bit, because when you're raised to be dominant, you're not just going to become submissive all of a sudden because of one particular event. It just doesn't work that way.

The acting in this movie wasn't bad at all, and certainly wasn't as bad as I expected it to be. These people didn't act like real cavemen, but they didn't not act like cavemen either. It's hard to explain, but a lot of it had to do with their reactions to each other and to the various situations they found themselves in. The reactions were for the most part quite primitive, and that did help to make the film a little more realistic.

I really didn't know what to expect when I first chose this film for my review, but now that it's over, I find myself feeling sorry that it is. It was a lot of fun, and not many director's would have taken the time to bother with bringing out the fun in a movie like this. The movie at its surface just seems like a cheapo B-Flick that would have been knocked out in like a week for as little money as possible. Happily, that was not the case with this one, and I'm really happy to be able to give it...

B-Movie Central's Rating: 4 ½ Bees

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