Five Bees: An all time classic. No movie collection should be without this beautiful masterwork of B-Movie greatness. It's hard to say exactly what makes a movie reach this plateau of gratness because even some not-so-great movies can get a five Bee rating just because they're so fun to watch.

Four Bees: A Four Bee movie is close to being an all time classic but it's just missing a little something. Whether it be something with the plot or the acting or directing or the mood or whatever. Regardless of what it's missing though, it's still a most excellent movie and shouldn't be missed.

Three Bees: A Three Bee movie has a lot of redeeming elements and typically is a lot of fun to watch. The kind of movie you'd stay up late with your buddies watching just so you could goof on it and have a good time.

Two Bees: There's not a lot of redeeming qualities in a Two Bee movie. Various people will probably like certain elements of these movies but in general they tend to just be blah. If you're looking for b-movie greatness, you won't find it here.

One Bee: A One Bee movie is just bad. You'll feel like you wasted your money if you buy this one and more often than not these movies will be watched once and then end up gathering dust on your video rack.

The Bat: A movie that gets The Bat rating is the absolute worst of the worst. This movie has no redeeming qualities and should be taken to the nearest cave, buried under a big pile of steaming, oozing bat guano and left to decompose. This is a movie that should have never been made and was probably only made so that the filmmakers would have something to do in their spare time.

Snoozer: I have come to the realization that there exists a class of movies where a simple bee or bat rating just doesn't apply. These movies are what I call Snoozers. They're films that are usually good in pretty much every way except for one. They're boring! You won't hate a Snoozer, nor will you overly enjoy it, but if you're looking for a movie to put you to sleep at bedtime, a snoozer is pretty much guaranteed to do it.

Unseen Things: Origins



My series of contemporary fantasy / sci-fi novels, Unseen Things is now available through the official website, Amazon, Smashwords and other online retail sites.

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